Work life balance argument

[Shadowofthewind]

I worked from home last 4 years which gave alot of flexibility to drop kids at school, pick them up, get dinner each day etc etc and sometimes catch up on work in the evenings. For these last 4 years my wife who works in private medical center has not had to share this demand. In last month, I started new role that requires 2-3 days travelling and its a job Im excited about. However my wife for last 3 weeks is giving out to me for increased pressure on days Im away and the fact that she loses 2hrs each day dropping kids and picking up early and then has all housework to do on her own when Im away. We've had so many arguments about the demands of her role. She repeatedly over 4 years has been talking about making more time to do stuff with our kids and it never happens. I'm very fed up. She lives to work and I cannot seem to change anything.

Im reaching out to see if there are any other busy households that have figured this out and what approaches they took?

Thanks
G.

Yeah- breakfast club and / or after school club.
It’s what we did pre pandemic.
I work with people ( actually only men weirdly but I’m sure that’s coincidence) who have the school run built into their working day, and kids running round after 3.30 pm. It doesn’t really work for me as a colleague so it probably wasn’t ideal in your situation anyway.
Try to work out a schedule where you pay for childcare say 3 days a week and then you have one day each a week where you finish work early?
As for the housework, agree to do more on the days you are home.

She’s doing all the housework while working fulltime? Come on G that’s unacceptable: you should be sharing that on the days you’re home and when you’re away either pay for that to be done or pay for childcare options. You can’t have it both ways.

@Ozanj I really dont know how you picked out just housework. Read the narrative again. Only respond if you can answer the question Ive posed. I have a problem to solve in that...i was doing housework last 4 yrs, I do it when at home and alot of the time Im around. I do my fair share.

@PontiacFirebird we have afterschool on days Im away. My wife must drop off to school and pickup from afterschool just before 6pm each day. Its a long day away from kids also.

It sounds like you did more than your fair share the last 4 years, so your wife needs to step up or hire a cleaner.

Did you and your wife sit down and look at how it would work before you took the job?

Most families I know (including mine) work it all out based on who works what hours and who has what flexibility. If one partner just decided to change that without a discussion on how to make it work it would cause issues.

Hi @Kingofthetyrantlizards yes we talked it out. It seemed to make sense but I think it wasn't thought through in terms of the reality in the change. I did not see it earlier but the advice to also do breakfast club by @PontiacFirebird Im considering. I feel it will help to address lost time aspect.

Yes, if you're both working outside the home then you probably need to use breakfast club as well as after school club.

Full time work and kids involves sharing the load, compromise and lots of planning.

Ask her how she felt for the last 4 years with you doing it all.

then come up with a plan and both agree no whingeing x