Tricky situation...please advise

[April05]

Hope someone can help. My boss has told myself and the rest of our small team that she has a medical problem which is affecting certain aspects of her ability to do her job. She suffers from impaired memory, but has not told anyone else in the company about it. She has asked for us to keep this secret. Should she have disclosed this when she started two years ago? And, if it later comes out, will we get in trouble for not telling anyone about this? It is clear that this explains a lot of odd behaviours and others things that have happened.
I just feel that she has put her team in an awkward position..Any advice greatly appreciated.

Blimey April, how horrendous for you.

Nothing wrong with your boss telling the team as such, but obviously lots wrong with telling you when others don't know and asking you to keep it a secret.

Hmmm.

Whether she should have disclosed it when she started depends what the norm is when starting at your company, whether there's a medical questionnaire requiring you to state anything like this. Do you know whether there is anything like that?

You say this is affecting her performance. Has it done so for the whole time she has been there? I ask because regardless of whether she wants to tell her manager, if it's affecting her performance, I would assume hope it would have been picked up in her appraisals or outside that process, and I would say a medical condition would be a better reason for her to give for not doing her job properly than just being rubbish iyswim.

I can only assume either her performance is not being affected sufficiently for her manager to notice and pick her up on it, or alternatively you and the rest of the team are covering up for her.

What kind of relationship do you have with her? Is it the kind where you are quite friendly? Do you feel you could go out for lunch or a drink with her and talk about this, say it is making the team feel uncomfortable?

Has she told you why she doesn't want anyone to know?

Thanks for responding Flowery. Really good to hear your thoughts. I only joined the team two months ago but from speaking to the others, slip-ups, under-performance and other things have happened since she started. It has largely been the case that the team have had to cover up her mistakes. Some staff members have raised concerns but her line manager has not ticked her off much, just a small kick up the bum for under performance.
Don't have a friendly relationship as such, and would find it tricky mentioning it. We could say something as a team though.... When she told us, it was as if it was a normal thing to say - but I think it is unfair to tell us something like that and ask to keep it a secret. Also, it was the reason she was fired from her last job and she kept that secret too. V odd...

If she's had this for a while I think that it's covered by the Disabilty laws. The firm that you work for can not fire her for this, is she were to tell them they might be able to get her some help. It's not down to the employees to keep this as a secret, she's being dishonest with them. I have Chronic Fatigue, i'm a student at the moment but I'm looking for a job. It's really hard to admit that sometimes I'm exhausted, even to myself.

If she knew she had it before coming to current job and didn't declare it when asked on application she could be on very dodgy ground. This may well be why she wants it hushed up.

Is the cndition one that's likely to get worse? If so she can't keep hiding it. Do you have a decent human resources/personnel team or person that she could approach.

Whoops, had name-changed for post, but then forgot to change back!

DDA will only cover her if she declared it. On the other hand if she lied when recruited about it then she gets no protecion from the law at all.

It won't get worse I don't think but won't improve either. If she has asked us to keep it quiet, I don't think there's any way she will go to HR. She thinks it hasn't really affected her work, but from all the things that have happened, it is clear to everyone that it has.
Not sure if she would have filled out a medical form, I did, but then I only joined a couple of months ago.

Are you sure she's not just crap and using this as an excuse?

This is what everyone thought, then when she told us, a light switch went off in our heads - it explains a lot of odd behaviour. She forgets things/ repeats herself/ has to write everything down/ has angry episodes etc..

It is a shame she doesn't want to seek help because Occy Health, if you have one, may be a good source of coping strategies. There are usually ways and means of helping someone with impaired memory.

PMS? Has she told you what the problem is exactly?

If you feel you could say something as a team I would suggest you do that. From the point of view that you are concerned about her, obviously, but also that you feel it's unfair of her to expect her team to take responsibility both for her errors and for covering her illness up.

I agree with littlegreyrabbit, if there is a nice HR person you could suggest she has a bit of a chat with them?

I do find it a bit bizarre it being such a secret. It definitely sounds like something that could come under the DDA in which case it certainly needn't be something she keeps secret, and may well entitle her to all sorts of extra help. But by not declaring it (if that's the case) she's not getting the help she may be entitled to and is risking action being taken against her for her poor performance and is risking alienating her team as well.

And you say it was the reason she was fired from her last job? Did she tell you that? And was her dismissal because of her illness or because of her poor performance? You may not know any of this, I'm just a bit intrigued.

x-with about a million posts!

It was encephalitis. Dismissal was due to poor performance I think and she told us this at the same time but obviously never shared this when she took this job.

She sounds like a rubbish manager tbh. Very, very poor of her to put this on her team, that's really not on - on so many levels. And such a shame she doesn't want to get any help for it.

Is her manager really horrible and unapproachable or something? I'm not suggesting you speak to him/her, but just trying to figure out why she's keeping it from everyone while her performance is being affected.

No her manager is really approachable and the company is very caring, so I really think she should have been honest in the first place. If it comes out now, surely she won't have a leg to stand on if they want to get rid of her? But now, by telling her team, we have been dragged into it and are complicit in deceiving the company too..

Curiouser and curiouser!

I think if her manager is nice and the company is caring you and the team can quite strongly say that you are not happy with being put in the position of being complicit in deceiving your employers, you feel very uncomfortable about it, you are not prepared to carry on the deception and would like to request she speaks to her own manager about it.

Bearing in mind everything you've said, I think you can be firmer than I initially said. Still concerned for her obviously, but it sounds like she is rubbish, and it sounds like there is no 'good' reason for her not being upfront about it, so I don't think you need to pussyfoot about too much.

In terms of getting rid of her, might depend on the wording of the medical doobrey she might have signed, and various other things - obviously a company have to be very careful where something could come under the DDA, but with her keeping it a complete secret, that's a bit different.

I think you need to pretty much force her hand and get it out in the open, hopefully she will get the support she needs and her performance will improve.

Thanks Flowery! You are the voice of reason. I will speak to the rest of the team - think they are still in and see if we can en masse ask her to speak to her manager. Just so wrong to put us in that position, really made me cross... work can be hard enough, without all this to think about too.

No worries.

From a purely selfish point of view, nice to have a bit of a different problem that doesn't involve maternity pay or flexible working......