Need a week off - mental health - and scared

[Wowzapwoo]

In February I had an ectopic pregnancy. I had 3 weeks off work whilst I recovered. Now I’m in the midst of a mental health crisis (my marriage is in trouble and my eldest son has just been diagnosed with ASD). On top of all of that my job is so stressful at the moment. I can’t face the idea of going into the office and doing it all again. I really think I need a few days to recover from burn out before I go again.

I’m worried about having time off after already being unwell in February. Especially when I’ve only worked there for just over a year.

I suppose I am looking for advice on whether I should take a few days or keep on trying to push through? And how you think it would be seen? Do I tell my boss the real reasons that everything is getting on top of me?

Sorry you're struggling. Would a few days really make a material difference to how you're feeling?

Can you take some annual leave?

Is there anything that would reduce the stress at work?

I don’t know if a few days would make any difference really, all I know is I can’t even think about work tomorrow without crying.

In terms of work stress - the job is always a lot. But with all the other stuff on top I just feel toppled over the edge. Work on its own would be fine.

OK you take a few days or a week off.

What are you going to do long term to help you feel like you can carry on?

Are you going to talk to your GP? Communicate with a support group for ASD children? See a therapist for yourself? See a couples therapist? Phone up the work wellness helpline,if they have one? (These are rhetorical questions.)

Your workplace may give you a return to work interview so you need to have some actions in place to tell your work this is what I'm using to cope with all the stresses in my life at the moment.

Sorry you're suffering like this.

If you're not well enough to go into work then you will need to go off sick with stress. Many people who go off with stress are not just off for a few days though as it takes time to recover.

If it's not work related then you're not really going to feel any better unless you take some steps to address the other issues.
See your GP for meds or counselling.
Reach out for support from ASD organisations.

As PP has said, although your manager doesn't need all the details, they will want to know what help you're getting going forward at your return to work meeting

All good questions although it all feels like too much for me right now. I just want to cocoon and wallow for a bit. I know I need a plan really. DH is going to stay with his parents so I’m hoping that will ease tensions. With DS he is about to start sessions with CAMHS so I’m hopeful that will help him and me. I just feel like I need a bit of time to breathe and process things.

From everything you have written it sounds like the issues are at home. Will staying at home for a week actually help? I found it helpful to keep my routine through a very similar situation, admittedly I had a great boss which helps and a volunteer who would will me off to grab lunch rather than me wallow

The problem is my job isn’t one you can do when at all distracted and at the moment I am and I’m making mistakes that I otherwise wouldn’t make.

Speaking from experience, I really do feel for you.

It sounds like you need a break, when is your next chunk of time off? If your only option is to take sick leave atm then I’d double check your sickness and absence policy if you are really concerned about hitting a trigger - surely you have access to this? Usually it is outlined in your contract / employee handbook etc.

I would also really consider booking in with your gp - sometimes even talking to them and having a good cry has helped me rationalise things. Burn out can eventually lead to anxiety and depression so please don’t ignore (I’ve learnt the hard way).

In terms of taking sick leave, you can self certify without a sick note for up to 7 days.

I also do agree with other posters that long term you do need to explore options to create more of a work life balance as it sounds like your current situation is not sustainable. However for now it sounds like you are reaching crisis point so I would focus on trying to avoid things spiralling any further if you can. Whether that is taking a few days off work or organising childcare on your days off so you can just breathe a little - whatever you need to do, do it. Only you can put yourself first. Please let me know how you get on.x