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Say something or nothing?

2 replies

Avertmyeyes · 16/09/2024 23:04

Newish manager to small group in a mostly female dept. One employee, older than me had complained that she doesn’t want to go to a larger multi-dept event because “men look at her boobs. “. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I just “ we’d love you to join …”

She does an admin job, is literally in back corner hidden away all day. She wears low cut tops, and her cleavage is always there. Minimum 10cm of cleavage minimum most days, sometimes more.
It’s a conservative business, no one else wears low cut like her, she’s not the office siren, she’s pretty quiet, doesn’t socialise w co workers.
Do I need to consider this her telling me she had been harassed?
Or is she being just weird enough so that I never expect her to join the group or socialise ever again?

Is it harassment to look at boobs/cleavage if they are there? I’m a straight female, her boobs are there & it’s hard not to look and more so now that she’s made an issue of it.

I’d be happy to consider it her telling me to never expect her to do anything other than be at her desk during work hours.

OP posts:
SleeplessInWherever · 16/09/2024 23:09

I’d be tempted to have a private chat with her and ask her for more information, frame it that if someone is making her feel uncomfortable you’d like to help.

Then maybe offer that a way to help herself would be to dress appropriately, and that her current dress code isn’t professional.

I use the “up it, down it or through it” policy in my office. If I can see up, down or through it - it’s not appropriate and you shouldn’t be wearing it.

Avertmyeyes · 16/09/2024 23:24

SleeplessInWherever · 16/09/2024 23:09

I’d be tempted to have a private chat with her and ask her for more information, frame it that if someone is making her feel uncomfortable you’d like to help.

Then maybe offer that a way to help herself would be to dress appropriately, and that her current dress code isn’t professional.

I use the “up it, down it or through it” policy in my office. If I can see up, down or through it - it’s not appropriate and you shouldn’t be wearing it.

My understanding is that the up down & thru conversation is now considered harassment … even from a same sex person.

im looking for easy life.

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