Old, tired, can't keep up

[CannotKeepUpAnymore]

My username says it all. I'm 18 months away from state retirement age, in a job I've done for 20+ years, and I've finally had to admit that I can't keep up anymore. I'm making mistakes, missing deadlines, sometimes failing to understand briefs. Everyone of a similar age as me has drifted away over the years, and I'm now by far the oldest member of my team. The whole "vibe" has changed; every other team member grew up with computers, and agile working and multitasking are second nature to them.

Added to this, I have developed health issues of my own, am dealing with problems with my property, and have an extremely elderly mother (not living nearby) who needs constant help and attention.

"Why not just retire?" You might say. That is exactly what I'd like to do, but unfortunately my workplace pension is tiny, and I cannot claim my state pension until I'm 66. My line manager is very understanding, but I don't think there is much they can do to help me. I feel like I'm well and truly finished in the workplace. Is there any solution other than stumbling on, exhausted (and sometimes, to be honest, humilated), trying to make it through?

I was in this situation 15 months away from official retirement age. I decided to retire, took my occupational pension, which wasn't huge and withdrew an amount from my lump sum each month to top it up. You don't spend as much money when you're retired as you do when you're working.

Hi OP, I really feel for you. I'm knackered too and can't retire any time soon. I do think you should go to your GP.

IKWYM about being the oldest though, it's depressing sometimes, I'm often the oldest in any meeting.

Can you downsize? Do compressed hours so you get an extra day off a week? Cut back on supporting your mum? Is there anyone else to help?

Also though, I'd say think about the mistakes, why are you making them? Are you not being shown what to do? Are you not concentrating? Have you lost interest?

And why are you missing deadlines? When you're given them do you agree to them? If they're not realistic stop agreeing to them.

And if you don't understand briefs why don't you ask until you do? And clarify, say "I think you want me to do this, is this correct?"

So I think you need to take some responsibility here too (whilst I am sympathetic if you worked for me it would piss me off!)

I am not for one minute suggesting you do this but it is something you might consider doing. And after all your years in the workplace I don't think anyone would blame you. Obviously it is going to depend on your employer and their policies.

You are clearly under an immense amount of stress and mental health issues will inevitably affect your work. I think you would have every right to talk to your doctor and get signed off from work. Ensure that your employer knows that work related stress is a strong factor (which clearly it is).

This puts your employer in a difficult situation. Assuming your work performance has been suffering, it has to also be assumed they have noted this. So, they are now in a place where they have an underperforming employee, likely to be on sick leave for some time and, anyway, coming up to retirement. In my experience, this is a time when they might decide to make you an offer just to make their problem go away. That way they can quickly make a new appointment in your place - which they're going to have to do anyway when you retire. That offer might just be enough to tide you over until you hit retirement age if you live frugally. It won't happen immediately, so you'll still be getting your salary (hopefully) until that is negotiated and it can take some time.

It is also possible with some pension schemes that they can make an arrangement for you to take your pension now at the same rate as it would be when you retire (I'm guessing it would be pretty economical for them to do if you are so near retirement age). Certainly it is the case, in, eg, local government.

I hope I haven't missed the mark, ie, you don't work in a sector where this is possible but it's worth looking at. Either way, a little bit of space is what you need so talk to your doctor. You don't say if your Mum has dementia or not. If not, you might find she has some wise and helpful words too. Obviously, you'll know that better than me but on that particular point I speak from experience.

If this situation does materialise, ensure you get an experienced solicitor involved. If compromise agreements are involved you may find that your employer will pay for this as part of it.

Don’t give up! keep going.

You are so much more valuable than you know!

Exactly this, very first message suggests OP claim PIP!

So many people claiming it now it has just become the first thing people think of. Unfortunately though you do have to meet strict criteria to claim and be awarded. I appreciate it's hard with an ever increasing state retirement age and pressures of work ( this will be me in a few years time ) but suggesting someone claims a disability benefit when there's not even any evidence they meet the criteria and it is a benefit with such strict criteria to qualify does seem a bit odd.

PIP is incredibly hard to get. I have stage 4 endometriosis, hidradenitis supprativa, neutropenic, immunocompromised, chronic urticaria and don't fit into any of the categories

That's a shame. I know someone who gets it for HS alone, it was a severe case though.

This is why making people work till they drop at 66/7/8 is such a bad idea.

I've got another 4 and a half years to go before I get my pension and I'm worn out, stressed out and bone tired. I too am making mistakes and have health issues, and I have had to drop to part time after working full time for 45 years. I've bloody well had enough now.

You have my sympathies OP, especially as you have your elderly parent whose needs make calls on your time and emotions as well.

Same here , been working for 40 years most of that time in a physically and mentally draining job ( palliative care Nursing). I fortunately now work in a mostly sit down, filling in forms kind of job which I can manage for now but will likely be struggling with in a few years, as well as having a husband who is not in great health and an 86 year old dad who won't remain in good health forever ! Fortunately I have a half decent NHS pension that I can take in four years time but it will in no way make up for loss of a full time wage. I feel for people like op who only have a not so great pension to fall back on. Op if you did have to give up work you could potentially claim carers allowance if you provide 35 hours care to your mum and she gets a disability benefit. Could that be enough to supplement your private pension if you couldn't carry on until state pension age ? I hope you manage to find a solution.

Op, I'm 18 months off retirement too and am facing the same. I'm trying to make things easier for myself by:

Taking vit D through the winter, starting now.
Eating 30 different fruit &veg a week
Cutting out UPFs. Eating more protein, fewer carbs
Getting more sleep, Go to bed earlier.
Drink less alcohol, more water
Changing my weekend routine so chores are completed faster.
Making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

Boosting my fitness. I know it's the last thing you want to hear when you're tired but being fitter really does help.

Can you use holiday to take half a day off a week, just to ease the pressure?
Can you hire a cleaner? Treat yourself to a weekly food delivery? Persuade your spouse to take on more of the domestic stuff. Even little things will help.

Do you have capital in your home OP. Could you sell and downsize?

Any way you can drop your hours OP? That might make enough difference to you to allow you to keep going to state pension age

How old are you?

Are you sure you've located any pensions from previous jobs? If you're only 18 months off retirement age you will have been making occupational pension contributions for around 40 years, unless you had significant time out of work or worked part time? If you've moved around jobs then it's easy to lose track. It's strange that your occupational pension is 'tiny' - unless you were not working much for significant chunks.

That would be my first step - check you've accounted for everything you've paid into.

I agree, it’s so hard! I have a genetic neurological condition; I can’t walk up stairs or walk more than one street and they said no to me!

@CannotKeepUpAnymore I would agree with others to take time off to rest and think and see gp. Good luck and take care.