Am I being too sensitive at work?

[flyingmoth]

I work with various teams in my organisation. Whilst some are lovely and friendly, some are just really cold and distant, even though I do work that helps benefits their role. While some will say thank you or be really friendly when I see them, others will ignore my emails, barely scrape a hello when I see them but are very friendly with their closer colleagues or with people higher than them. I find that they will choose to talk to me when they need something, and at that moment be nice but then I'll see them a few weeks later and it's like I don't exist. Not even 'hi how are you'. Even though they sometimes ignore my emails I find that when they email me I will reply straight away. I don't want to be petty but am starting to think maybe I should be the same with them? But that could affect my progress. Or should I just suck it up and just adapt to their moods? They are all in roles slightly above me so I am not someone they need to suck up to but I do alot to help them behind the scenes.

I would just concentrate on your job and stop giving so much headspace to these people. They aren't ever going to be your friends, and the only concern you need to have is being professional and getting your work done. If you feel that responding to emails quickly is prudent and follows with your work style, continue on. Don't worry about how other people manage their communications. Some people you will work just aren't great. It's just the way it is.

@Aquamarine1029 that's probably the best advice I could receive. Thank you! Yes I don't want to change my style. I rely too much on others approval and acknowledgment so I know I need to not let it affect me.

Who are the people you need to prioritise to have a more comfortable job and/or progression?

I'd focus my efforts there. This other group would receive help in second place.

@Enough4me thank you, well these same people could be involved for hiring me for a promotion - depending on what I would apply for. So I can't piss them off but boy do they piss me off sometimes. I passed one of them the other day who I hadn't seen in a while. They were talking to someone else, just turned to see who it was and I was just about to smile and say hi but they turned away quickly and carried on talking. It was a very 'oh it's only her' look. This is the same person I have had team outings with in small groups and have had many one to one meetings with when they need something. just feels really disrespectful.

I would show them respect but, if you have to plan your work, put them appropriately in the queue not 1st. When you see them give a bright "morning/afternoon", but continue with your other work.

Would you want to be promoted into their team?

Thank you, yes will try this.
As to whether I want to be promoted...the nice people outweigh these ones but I just don't get this behaviour. Really gets me down at times :(

I think it's best not to feel this is personal - people can be dicks.

I am in a funny situation - I'm married to the boss but dh and I don't share the same surname and professionally I go by a different first name (socially I go by a nickname) - even people I have mixed with socially behave like dicks professionally - they have no idea they are dealing with someone they know - it's very revealing and more than a bit embarrassing for them when the penny eventually drops.