Help me to give negative feedback to a young colleague with anxiety

[Rainallnight]

I have a young (early 20s) direct report. Her work is good, but lately she’s had trouble prioritising and making progress, with the result that we’re late with some time-critical work. It’s also had an impact on me, because she went on leave, leaving me to do the time critical work she didn’t get done.

She also didn’t flag in advance that this stuff wasn’t done.

She is prone to anxiety generally and I’m worried that if I don’t go about this discussion in the right way, she’ll have a bad reaction and tip into an anxiety episode.

But it does need to be tackled.

Any advice?

And I think it’s about feeding back on this issue but also helping her to put processes in ace to ensure it doesn’t happen again (it’s not the first time). I’ve had bad feedback in the past about micromanaging and I’m trying hard not to do that but it doesn’t feel as though things can continue as they are.

firmly but fairly
She has let you and the business down and it’s a conversation which needs to be had
frame it factually and ask how she could have handled it differently - put the ball in her court and this will help her come up with solutions

There needs to be a structure in place so you can keep tabs on where she is up to with any given job.

Can you have a quick check in each morning or evening? Give clear instructions on what to prioritise and ask where she is up to on time-sensitive aspects of the work load.

I think very young people in the work place used to get more training. These days they seem to be expected to get on with stuff and really aren't sure what to prioritise and can be scared to interrupt busy colleagues to ask. Creating a space each day for questions and training and planning would be good.

If these structures are already in place, go over them with her and ask why she didn't or felt she couldn't communicate effectively and why she didn't or couldn't complete her work on time.

You need processes in place to call out if employees are failing to prioritise the time critical work.

Frame it to her as you are the problem and are putting in solutions to make her job easier.

As someone who's prone to anxiety myself, the key thing I'd suggest is to stop the spiral before it starts. Her brain is likely to go straight to "I'm going to lose my job" when the reality is she's nowhere near that right now, but that downward spiral will only make her performance worse. Frame it firmly but positively, ie it's a learning and development opportunity for her as a young person. Make sure she leaves the meeting clear on her next steps. Good luck!

This is a horrific approach. I hope you’re not a line manager. I’m a senior manager and wouldn’t walk into a meeting with someone with anxiety saying “you are the problem”. Christ

I’ve been here. It is difficult. What worked for me:

Be very clear at the beginning about why you’re discussing it. You may need to literally say “you are not in trouble” or “your job is not at risk”. This very much depends on the individual.

Get her to, as much as possible, tell you what she thinks of her work, identify the issues, identify the solutions. Be clear on what you agree are the next steps.

Set up regular check ins. This lets you keep an eye on her work. It lets you address issues early, which is better management but also better for her confidence. It makes management conversations standard not scary.

Signpost any services your employer offer to help her.

Dont be afraid to address things. Her anxiety is something that she needs to learn to manage, with assistance, it is not an excuse not to complete her work or a way to get out of difficult conversations.

Wow. What a strange reaction to your own misunderstanding. My business has been successful for 35 years and I’m in the processes of selling so I can take early retirement. I guess being financially secure and having a lot of free time on my hands will give me the ability to seek all the help I can get.

Anyway I’ll let you go back to your ‘senior manager’ role. It must be a slow day for you.

You’re the one that incorrectly interpreted a very short response and derailed everything though.

OP - it sounds like direct report will take it personally no matter what, they’re young and have that disposition anyway. Maybe schedule a meeting and frame it in the context of ‘we’ are really busy, let’s agree on what ‘we’ need to prioritise so that ‘we’ can feel on top of things. Ask them what they feel you could do to make sure you’re both on the same page, 30 min check in on a Monday to outline important work? 10 min check in every morning to outline tasks of the day? If there are 2 or 3 tasks that really are the most important, definitely make it clear that ‘we’ need to get those done as priority every week/month and not leaving them aside.

Overall I’d say just don’t overthink it or over explain, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. You’re just making adjustments and communicating so that work can get done efficiently and avoid stress for both of you.

Er, ignoring the comments above mine..

Is this going to be in a 1:1? If so I would use the positive-negative-positive structure. Start with something that is going well, then tackle this issue, then finish with another positive.

If she's anxious i would expect there's an element of avoidance - she gets overwhelmed with worry so does nothing and buries her head in the sand. Make it clear she is to come to you for support if she doesn't understand something or what she needs to do next (and actually offer this, of course).

You need to ask for a handover document to be completed by your direct reports when they go one leave - this is standard practice for everyone where I work. It is a table with a list of the projects the person is working on, what they have done & next steps.

It sounds like she needs more guidance on priorities - this doesn't need to be micromanaged, it can simply be you saying on a Monday "please ensure x is our priority for this week as it needs to be done by Thursday".

Don’t make it about blame, and offer reassurance that she is not in trouble.

This thing happened, this was the impact.

Then give action points and processes to prevent it happening again. Ask her to do a prioritisation exercise with her existing workload and give her feedback.

Agree to check back in a week and suggest she can reach out to you if she has any questions or wants help on this topic.

Tell her something positive about her work, ask for questions and tell her she can do it.

Are there too many tasks and not enough management of what needs to be prioritised as in everything seems to be a priority and what to do with the rest?or what to do if it feels unachievable. I'm not saying this is you but I feel current management style is about heaping work on, emails about what needs doing, everything seems to have the same priority and little willingness for managers to take accountability for what is unachievableor make strategic decisions about work loads. I would do it as a general review of what's going well, what systems aren't working for your worker and business. If they are good workers you want them to feel ok about saying things are hard or they are struggling or made a mistake.

Anxiety is not a get out of jail free card.

It's insulting to anyone who doesn't have anxiety when you tiptoe around someone who is going to create a drama for being rightfully pulled up at not doing their job to a good enough standard.

When dealing with dramatic people just stick to the facts and don't use emotive language that they will leap on and become hysterical.

Do you think she is aware of her shortcomings regarding time critical work?
I would start by asking her if she is happy, does she feel she needs support anywhere, does she struggle with aspects of her job etc See if she feels she needs to work on timeliness too. If she feels the same, you can work out a plan together.

@onfiree was that your way of saying, "Whoops! Sorry @ReadingWorm, I read that wrong"? 👀🤣

Take HER as a person out of the equation. So instead of saying you missed the deadline, say the work wasn't submitted by the deadline.

Anxiety is a mental health condition, referring to a sufferer as a "dramatic" person is very insulting. OP isn't tip toeing around, they're being empathetic while also trying to sort out the person's performance, which is great and absolutely appropriate.