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Taken a new role and am in way over my head - experienced managers please advise?

51 replies

newjobregrets · 03/09/2024 22:22

Having worked freelance for myself on my own terms for many years I was fed up of feast v famine working so almost on a whim applied for a mat leave cover.
It's such a huge change from what I was doing before and I am now worried I have made a mistake and that I am not going to be able to stay on top of all of the different work streams.
I'm now managing others as well as budgets and deadlines and lots of stakeholders. Not sure how or where to prioritise. Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
BurntBroccoli · 07/09/2024 10:50

bge · 04/09/2024 07:49

in terms of HOW to prioritise - what would stop the place from running tomorrow? What would stop it from running in a year? If there’s anything regulatory, do that. New business? Less important.

Such a good reply!

newjobregrets · 25/10/2024 20:19

I am the OP
Just got home and feel so overwhelmed
Have a super busy 5 weeks coming up and just feel sick with worry tbh

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DressDilemma · 28/10/2024 13:20

Everyone is winging it. Most new roles feel difficult and overwhelming at the outset. Give yourself some grace and time. Focus on building understanding and connections right now. Anytime it starts feeling too much, try to focus on tactical tasks that don't need a lot of context and strategy. I am sure you'll start feeling much more confident and comfortable in a couple of months.

newjobregrets · 03/11/2024 14:47

Here I am again
Filled with Sunday night dread
I posted last week
My DP lost his job last week so I have to ride this out but I am so full of worry about fucking up
I feel sick

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NewManager101 · 03/11/2024 16:30

Deep long slow breaths. You can do this.

Remember they hired you as they believed in you. When you applied for this job, you stood out from the rest.

I doubt your managers and others will have huge expectations as you settle in. You are allowed to say that you are new and getting familiarised with everything and everyone. Getting settled into any job takes at least 6 months. Be kind to yourself.

TALK to other people as much as you can. Find out what they want from you, ask them their advice, whether they have any tips etc. A lot of people like to help!

newjobregrets · 03/11/2024 16:56

Thank you. I do appreciate it I have just finished the handover period and now have to be on my own.
My head knows these things but my gut and my anxiety doesn't
I don't know how to get rid of it

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AlisonDonut · 03/11/2024 17:11

It i hard to advise when we can't sit with you and go through what you need to do.

One way I used to get rid of the stress is to plan the week like this:

Plan every monday morning in as a planning session, repeated every single monday, into your calendar.

Plan every friday afternoon in as a wrap up session, so that you know in advance what needs to be carried over to next week.

Monday morning, list everything down for that week, and anything that needs more than 15 mins, plan it in as a task into the diary. As in, an actual time span into your working calendar. If it doesn't need doing that week, put actual time aside for it when it does need doing.

Make sure your important stuff is all diarised. Monthly reports, give yourself time in the diary to do them. One to one sessions, book them in well in advance. Meetings, same.

Put aside wednesday afternoons for 'AOB' that comes in that needs to be scheduled.

External visits, training, etc, put in the diary as soon as you can. Delegate anything you can.

Anything that cannot be done in time, push back up to the boss as to which thing they want you to prioritise.

When you become a new manager it is overwhelming. But you can't do everything.

Write everything down that you remember as you remember it, have a notebook by the bed if you are waking up thinking about things.

Grumplechops · 03/11/2024 17:29

Some really good advice already for practical ways to approach the issue. You sound like you’re really being battered by the physical effects of stress and (for me anyway) that sense of anxiety and panic can make it hard to think (exacerbating the problem!).

You could try talking to your GP about the possibility of getting some propranolol (beta blockers) for the short term. I only take them every now and then now, but they were a godsend when I was going through an extremely stressful period at work. They work to stop the physical effects of stress….i didn’t think it would make much difference but I actually found removing the physical effects of stress were quite helpful despite my situation not having changed at all.

Be kind to yourself - I’m sure you’re doing a lot better than you think - everyone feels overwhelmed when they first start. But they gave you the job based on your skills and experience. Talk to your team. Talk to your manager. Good luck….work stress is awful xx

newjobregrets · 03/11/2024 20:48

I hadn't thought of beta blockers

I took sertraline during Covid to deal with depression

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zerored · 03/11/2024 21:02

Is there any possibility of a mentor within your company? If you became a member then the Chartered Management Institute have access to experienced mentors who may be able to give you more specific advice. Good luck.

Cheeseandcrackers40 · 03/11/2024 21:25

newjobregrets · 03/11/2024 16:56

Thank you. I do appreciate it I have just finished the handover period and now have to be on my own.
My head knows these things but my gut and my anxiety doesn't
I don't know how to get rid of it

Have you ever tried breathwork meditation? It really sorts me out when my anxiety starts rocketing.

My boss went off sick unexpectedly last year for a number of months and her boss was also brand new to her role, so I felt responsible for keeping everything ticking over with our team, plus I had to represent at senior meetings and chair meetings with senior colleagues (including boss's boss) but also manage the agendas and minutes 😬.

Breathwork meditation gave me some grounding, i needed a reset of my central nervous system because self talk wasn't cutting it. Basically I can rationalise my anxiety pretty well but I still carry it in my body!

I used to use headspace and now use the down dog meditation app x

newjobregrets · 03/11/2024 21:45

I have a meditation app, but not downward dog. Will look into that,

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Elizo · 03/11/2024 21:52

I think with big jobs like this start by assessing risk. You could work with your staff to identify your key risks and then work to mitigate them. My first priority would be getting to know staff, what people are doing, where their strengths are. You may have some really great people who don’t need much from you - then you can focus elsewhere. People always come first: Have you had much handover??

newjobregrets · 04/11/2024 00:24

Elizo · 03/11/2024 21:52

I think with big jobs like this start by assessing risk. You could work with your staff to identify your key risks and then work to mitigate them. My first priority would be getting to know staff, what people are doing, where their strengths are. You may have some really great people who don’t need much from you - then you can focus elsewhere. People always come first: Have you had much handover??

I have had a bit of handover
We are coming into a really busy period where anything I have missed or misunderstood will be very visible: again my head rationalises that this will be fine, that the team need me for the mat leave time and aren't going to fire me but my guts and emotions feel very worried

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newjobregrets · 07/11/2024 15:32

Another day. I am sitting on a train, feeling sick to my stomach about it
Need some anti anxiety tips

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Elizo · 07/11/2024 21:44

Can you share with your boss that you are feeling a bit overwhelmed? I appreciate this may feel difficult, but given fixed term not so much to lose. They might be able to help

Doyouthinktheyknow · 07/11/2024 21:56

@newjobregrets there are so many great posts on this thread with good advice, I’m just hear with some solidarity.

I've just started a new job in a different field and I am struggling so much. As a control freak who is used to knowing exactly what they are doing, not understanding processes is freaking me out and my anxiety is through the roof.

I don’t have any tips really, I’ve stepped down from management so in theory this should be easier but I’m struggling to find my feet so it’s not.

Everyone I have spoken to has said it takes months to settle in a new job so I think we both need to give it time and allow ourselves time to adjust.

Could it be that your expectations of yourself are too high? Have others fed back that you aren’t doing what you should or is it all coming from you?

newjobregrets · 07/11/2024 22:39

@Elizo yes I have admitted to manager, will see what she says

@Doyouthinktheyknow thank you the point that resonates with me is "As a control freak who is used to knowing exactly what they are doing, not understanding processes is freaking me out and my anxiety is through the roof."
I am worried that I don't know enough about what needs to be done for this busy period next week and that there will be a problem I can't cope with
Of course my rational head recognises that I have dealt with pretty much every crisis that life has thrown me in the last 47 years so why wouldn't I deal with this. But my anxiety is bodily
Need to see a doctor really but am running out of time

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newjobregrets · 15/01/2025 17:24

Oh crikey. Here i am. Still feeling over my head.

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Kangarude · 15/01/2025 17:36

How did it go during the busy period? You’re still there so it must have been ok

newjobregrets · 15/01/2025 18:31

Busy period was okay, but now feel behind on all the management stuff and so out of my depth.
I know all I am meant to do is keep the train on the track until the replacement comes back
I should worry less really, nothing in my job is life or death.
But I want to be good at what I do.

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Kangarude · 15/01/2025 18:40

Just take it one day at a time. It will come

mathsquestions · 15/01/2025 18:55

Hopefully by the end of it you’ll be confident in the role and happy to move on to the next job. Is there a possibility of a vacancy arising; maybe she won’t come back?

Has your DP found a new job?

Warringstars · 16/01/2025 02:19

I totally understand. I’m awake worrying about the same thing. Can rationalise in my mind but then my body is a different matter. When does your contract run out? If it’s really making you miserable and freelance didn’t, could you just go back to that?

newjobregrets · 16/01/2025 07:24

Warringstars · 16/01/2025 02:19

I totally understand. I’m awake worrying about the same thing. Can rationalise in my mind but then my body is a different matter. When does your contract run out? If it’s really making you miserable and freelance didn’t, could you just go back to that?

It's so reassuring to hear j am not the only one .
Yes I can in theory. In practice I prob need to stick this one out for a bit longer
OH hasn't found a new job yet
It all just feels grim tbh
I am trying to care less about it all but it's not in my nature

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