Managers, your advice needed please

[Sallycinnamum]

I'd be interested to know how other line managers would've handled this situation.

Essentially I think I'm suffering from work related stress which has been triggered by a potential promotion to a senior role that three months later still hasn't been signed off by HR despite a very strong business case from both my manager and department director.

This has led to me feeling completely disengaged and de motivated during which us the busiest time of the year for me with many high profile projects coming to fruition.

I told my manager how I was feeling today (paralysed by workload, not sleeping, feeling panicky etc) and said I needed a couple of days off to rest so i can hopefully be back to full strength next week. Her solution was to clear my diary today and tomorrow, oh and I need you in the office om Friday for a strategy meeting to kick off yet another bloody project!

I don't know where to go from here. Up until a few months ago I really loved my job but this uncertainty over this promotion seems to have caused me to spiral into this panicky mess- very unlike me.

My manager on the face of it seems sympathetic but just doesn't get it. Any advice would be welcome.

Based on my experience- if this is how you feel before promotion you’d be best not taking it. Being a Manager really isn’t all that’s cracked up to be.

I mean it’s tricky.

Whilst I understand the pressure of uncertainty about the promotion it’s difficult to understand how you’d manage the stress of the increased workload so could be a potential concern (obviously I’m just giving an opinion on the limited information). That would by one thing I’d be mindful of as you’re manager.

On the time away - is her thought process that you get Wednesday/Thursday to catch your breath, Friday work - then the weekend. I think it’s tricky for her as she’s required to balance her duty of care but also deliver the business. It’s not easy to do this - but it’s not easy for you either.

The alternative is you self certified and get a sick note for stress.

I already line manage a junior role and the promotion won't give me any additional staff to manage. It's more a reflection of my current responsibilities in all honesty.

It's just her reaction to my stress levels really. I don't feel she realises how burnt out I am.

@Sallycinnamum what do you think she should have done?

I agree and I don't really want to take time off as there is nobody who can take it over.

Hmm, I can see where you are coming from though. Maybe I just plough on through and hopefully come out the other side.

Good question. We have high levels of work related stress in head office at the moment and the department heads are hyper vigilant about it.

I suppose I wanted her to recognise how bloody overwhelmed I am. I'm not the only one in my team either. We already have one person off with stress.

Thanks for the replies.

What would you like her to do regarding the promotion?

If could current workload is so overwhelming you're feeling ill then you should certainly discuss that, but I don't know what she can do about the overall situation.

I mean, you said you wanted a couple of days off. So she said to take a couple of days off and then come back in Friday. If actually you feel you need more than a couple of days off, that's what you should have said.

I think the promotion is a red herring here. If it's no change to your current responsibilities and is just a job title change, then using that as the reason for your stress is inaccurate. If it's the workload then you need to consider what you think is likely to help resolve that and what you are actually asking for and approach your boss.

Seeing that written down is really helpful. I'm starting to think I need to reframe my thinking and have a bit of a reset.

Normally I can cope with reasonably high levels of stress so this has taken me by surprise. I have got a tendency to catastrophise, which is not helpful I know.

A three month delay in getting a new role signed sealed and in place would be a bit long, but I've seen worse. So I agree with PPs that current workload rather than this uncertainty is probably the more serious issue
Uncertainty aside, does the promotion mean a different type of work or responsibility? It's going to be important you identify the cause of the burnout, and fix that, not something else.

As a manager I would have sat you down and gone through your concerns and taken notes to raise higher up if wanted and with your support. Otherwise I’d have kept it an informal situation but said to take the time you need to and come back when you feel less overwhelmed. I would have referred you to our external health advice service to talk to a counsellor confidentially as well.

my overall priority would be to try and remove some of the pressure and to rectify any issues that were causing you stress. Then I’d arrange a catch up for say a weeks time to go over everything to make sure you are doing ok and to feedback what I’d managed to solve

I’ll be honest and say how is giving you a promotion going to relieve the stress you’re under?

Look critically at what you actually do - do you need to do it? Does it need to be done. Can it be delegated? Does your manager even know that you do it?

Go to bed for 2 days OP. Do Friday, go back to bed for weekend.

You’re knackered, be reasonable and be nice to yourself. Decisions can wait till you feel better.

Are you panicking your manager doesn’t get how bad it all is? They don’t, generally, their job is to keep the show on the road. If it’s still hideous next week, start making a list of problems and delegate them up.

Has your Manager completed a Stress Risk Assessment. I think sge should so that she can discuss ways of managing the stress and mitigating this.
I faced something similar though it wasn't a promotion but a sideways move and I had to wait several months before confirmed. I too became stressed but it was more down to the lack of communication about what was happening with my role (as old role was going).
The hold up was down to budget approval. Eventually resolved and i immediately felt much better.
I think it is the uncertainty bothering you so I get it.
I'd raise it with your manager to see what the hold up is and when you can expect to hear.

She gets very, very stressed and tends to trauma dump on me but she'd never take time off.

I suppose I'm panicking Ive properly fucked the possible promotion up now because I've admitted how stressed I am.

I'll see how I feel tomorrow and take it from there. I really appreciate all your viewpoints.

It sounds like the uncertainty about your promotion is certainly adding to your stress by making you feel unsure about your actions and second guessing if you are good enough or up to it. Aside from this I think that you do need to consider that with promotion comes extra responsibility and stress and whether this is actually what you want.

But then what, if she recognises how overwhelmed you are what is the next step if she was to acknowledge it? Withdraw the promotion? I’m not sure what she could of done tbh, you asked for a couple of days off which she has given you so it’s not like she’s totally disregarding what you’re saying.

She's responded reasonably and balanced your needs with business need. In the civil service you would be referred to OH and various well being plans and stress risk assessments would be done. However in other organisations her response is probably adequate. Maybe this is not the role for you?