Is it unrealistic to expect an update from someone?

[ekell]

Am I being unrealistic in expecting someone to tell me what job offer they have gone for?

I get a lot of messages on linkedin from people who want to either apply to my firm or to firms like mine. I always take time to offer advice and my experience, maybe even proof read an application.

I also have interns and spend a lot of time helping them navigate the recruitment process. People are always grateful, but I always say, please update me either way you decide.

Sometimes people will get multiple job offers, including from my firm, and I am always very fair and give people an unbiased view. Sometimes I’d even advise people to go for Firm C rather than my Firm A or another Firm B.

But unless people accept Firm A, they never seem to bother sending me a message to update me that they went for Firm B or C. I just happen to hear from others in industry or linkedin updates.

Am I being unrealistic to expect people to update me? Especially after they have shadowed me for a week or so and I’ve taken them out for multiple lunches etc.

Yes, that is unrealistic. Unless your firm is a recruitment agency then I think you're investing way too much in random people and your boundaries could be improved.

I think it’s good manners to decline an offer - they don’t need to tell you where they are going but one would hope relationship building wasn’t a key requirement.