Mean colleagues

[Puffins4eva]

How do you deal rude and mean colleagues

Do you ignore?
Or challenge I don't know how without lowering to their standard and being like them.

More context needed.
Depends on the circumstances.
We've all worked with difficult colleagues I expect but some behaviours actions can be ignored, other's not so.
If it was affecting how I was feeling at work I would raise with management.

I once had a colleague who absolutely made it part of his day to be really rude, disrespectful and mean to me - I tried everything from ignoring him and sarcastic remarks back to outright asking him why he behaved that way. Our manager once overheard him and pulled him on his behaviour after I'd said "Good morning" to him in a pleasant tone and he was rude to me (the manager had been in a side room and neither of us knew he was there.

None of the above worked so one day, in a completely calm voice I said to him (after one of his nasty putdowns) "I understand that you don't like me and the feeling is mutual based on your behaviour. I'm sorry that you have such a problem that you have to be rude to me every time you see me, instead of just ignoring me and I'm sorry that you feel the need to be so horrible every single time. Most people grow out of that behaviour at school" and then I did a friendly smile and turned and got on with my work.

He stood literally opening and shutting his mouth like a fish and then silently walked off - he was never rude to me again and actually started being friendly to me after that.

I hope you manage to sort out the issues you're going through as it really is horrible having to deal with nasty people.

I took your advice a raised it with management , took a great deal.of courage but think its going to help

I am also going to try to challenge the colleague directly when it happens, which for me is much harder as I'm a people pleasing doormat untill I snap t don't want to get sacked 😅 I find it hard to find assertive mode with a smile

Good luck - I am also a people-pleaser and it took a lot of courage but I felt so good after. Just seeing him flapping in typical bully-caught-out behaviour - I think the killer action was the polite smile at the end of the calm pushback. Toxic people want you to react badly as that's what the saddos feed on and when you're calm and CAREFREE on the outside (even if you're shaking on the inside), it really knocks them out because they know they've suddenly lost power of you.

Thankyou I'm.going To re - read post to.keep.me motivated going forward