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New job - completely overwhelmed

4 replies

Stressedinlockdown · 27/08/2024 16:05

Brace yourself for a long one!

I started a new job last month as a manager, in a field I used to work as a supervisor in for a different company for 3 years where I knew the job inside out. I enjoyed supervising and got on great with my team, the messages and emails I got when leaving were so touching and I really didn’t want to leave. However this role was a 60% increase for me and for my family that just was impossible to turn down., as well as being a step up from supervisor to manager that I felt so ready for but my old company couldn’t offer.

However even though this is the same field, the new place do things very differently. There’s a lot more that falls within the scope of the job, that in my previous place would’ve been handled by entirely separate teams/functions so I had no experience of. Since I’ve joined I’ve been sort of just thrown in at the deep end. There’s been no training. The team is about 20 people and there’s a few gaps so even in my first week I was going interviews for replacements (kind of awkward answering questions from candidates when you’ve been in the door 5 minutes yourself) and being asked to take on projects and shuffle the team around etc.

For the most part I’ve just taken it one step at a time and tried to find stuff for myself but honestly now I’m feeling so overwhelmed and I feel sick every morning. The team are all very demotivated and some have been so rude to me when I’ve asked them to do something or help saying they’re already over worked etc. They are really resistant to change but also miserable about how things are. Nothing is documented, no processes etc so I feel so lost.

I have two supervisors under me, one is part time and the other new to the role. They’ve both been off for blocks of 2-3 weeks since I started 7 weeks ago. My own manager is also off at the moment for 2.5 weeks while one of the supervisors is off. I’m getting bombarded with questions from more superior people expecting me to know the answers and my team are always so busy I feel like I can’t ask for help.

I think I cried once in my last job in 3 years (which was also a completely new field for me when I joined but they trained you and everyone was so helpful) but in this new place I am crying nearly every day

So little of my previous experience has been helpful and I feel complete imposter syndrome. I know if I was shown stuff and trained a bit I would get it but it’s like they want and expect so much from me when there are massive problems that need fixing that have been there for years.

I’m at a complete loss at the moment. I’m off next week when my boss is back and I’m trying to just muddle through this week but things keep landing in my mailbox and I’m staring at these emails thinking how the hell do I answer this? At what point do I throw the hands up and say I’m lost here?

I’m on probation and absolutely terrified of failing it. It would be catastrophic for us financially if I lost this job, but I genuinely never thought it would be so different and that there were would be so many issues to fix and so many people issues as well.

Has anyone been in a similar position? Any advice?

OP posts:
Rosenoire · 27/08/2024 16:10

someone with better advice will come along but everyone is bluffing at the beginning. you can't be expected to know the job before you do the job.
work out what goes where in your work plan and sit down with your boss and explain how you will organise the work , including your teams responsibilities.
and list the training you and they will need and the order it will happen in and get HR to help
set it up.

you will feel much different
in 3 months ! good
luck Flowers

MiseryIn · 27/08/2024 16:14

This was me 6 months ago.

I'm not going to be pretend it was easy but it did get better.

It may be completely unrelated but I also finally faced the fact that I needed to explore HRT and it was revolutionary.

PerkyMintDeer · 27/08/2024 16:22

I could have written this, twice in the past.

Scenario one...I should have walked after 3 months. I didn't, carried on for 5 months made myself ill and ended up having to resign due to work related stress/mental illness and was unemployed for almost a year while I recovered.

Scenario two...after about 6 weeks, it got easier. Ultimately it was one of the best things ever for my career. I learned and developed loads and was devastated when the FTC came to an end. Fabulous experience but tears, sleepless nights and anxiety for a while initally.

Give yourself time, but have an exit plan, just in case. You need to be as kind as possible to yourself in your free time...plan some things that will cheer you up, get extra rest where you can and don't hold all your feelings in. I ranted in a journal in job 2 but in job 1 I held it all in - it's ok to feel overwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with feeling this way and it will get easier in time. Big hugs.

Stressedinlockdown · 27/08/2024 18:05

Thanks for all your replies. Even just writing it all out helped.

I have been making a few notes for myself of things I felt weren’t handled great in terms of training if they do bring up my performance. It’s like on one hand they’re saying I’ve been here 5 minutes but the next asking me to do loads. I’ve been putting on a front and making out like I’m fine while secretly panicking so no one knows how I’ve been feeling.

I'm off next week then will be catching up with my manager the week after. I think I will say there are certain areas I’ve identified that didn’t fall within my remit before and I’d really appreciate a bit more support on them. I’ve noticed they are annual leave heavy at this time of year and from next month it should settle and I’ll have my own manager plus my supervisors again to reach out to. Right now I feel very isolated.

I feel a bit like a punching bag. My day is packed with calls from higher ups dumping issues on me to fix that have been wrong for years and staff complaining to me all the time about their workload. But with nothing written down and finding it hard to get time with people who can help me I’m still struggling to even know what workload they have. The place is a mess honestly.

my husband and I were thinking of having another baby next year (it’s a short maternity policy they have anyway so wouldn’t be out for long) but feel like if we do, I would consider leaving after that if it’s not any better. I’m so worried they’ll fail my probation though. I’ve never ever been in a position where I’ve felt so stupid and useless. I’ve always flown in any previous job and I’ve been working for 20 years. I think it’s more the fact that I feel I’m bothering people so sit at home staring at emails not knowing what to do.

really hoping it gets better

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