Would you go ahead with the grievance

[Isitme66]

Worked for the company for 10 years, moved up the ranks and now a deputy manager.
Always had issues with one member of staff as have other members of the team. I know of at least 4 people who have left the department due to this member of staff. She is very clever and manipulative.
Now I don’t want to drip feed, but I don’t want to be too outing either.
She copies everything I do, colour my hair, clothes and now a significant event that I did last year she has copied this year down to the last detail I don’t know if this is relevant but it irks me.
2019: I was promoted to supervisor and we had an argument. We attended mediation and she whips out a little book containing all things she felt were misdemeanours on my part, manager at the time said we were not here to discuss that. The argument stemmed from myself not being able to attend a funeral due to business needs and her going to the CEO of the company and getting time off for a cosmetic procedure.
2020: Covid hit and half the workforce were furloughed, I wasn’t and she again rang the CEO claiming it wasn’t fair that I was in work and she wasn’t.
2021: She called all work colleagues a very bad name.
2022: Another argument, which resulted in me telling her to just shut up. I was made to go on conflict resolution courses.
This colleague is very good, she will be passive aggressive, be very verbal about things but when challenged she will simply reply with “I wasn’t talking to you”
2023: I chose to ignore her and her behaviour.
Roll on 2024 and because she is not getting the reaction she wants she has now
decided to make up lies about me, my character and ability to do my job, she has verbally attacked my character in front of customers and also new members of staff. I decided I had, had enough and put in a formal grievance, listing everything above. I was called into a meeting with CEO and basically told that if I wanted to go ahead with the grievance I had to be whiter than white or it could be me that looses my job. I walked away from the meeting feeling that I shouldn’t go forward with this and just let it lie. Just wondering what you guys would
do?

No idea but bump, hopefully someone has a really good bit of advice.
This sounds awful.

The only thing I can say from my own experiences in work there are times I regret not going scorched earth when it comes to work bullies and backing down as easily as I did. I felt like I'd disappointed myself for years after one unpalatable fucker bullied me for years without any repercussions but I also know quite honestly, I could have flew in on a dragon and burnt the place to the ground and she'd have remained unscathed because some people are just beyond comeuppance. They're just so sly it's almost impossible to do anything.

Best of luck and I hope that you're given lots of good and professional advice x

I think I would stick to being very professional and avoiding any conversation with her that isn't witnessed. I would imagine your boss feels like this is a school like fall out. Stop interacting with her. If she does anything unprofessional, pass it on to your line manager for information only.

Likely she’ll raise a grievance as a tit for tat if you do.

I suspect that’s what your manager is alluding too. Is it really worth going through the process, and then being on the receiving end of an investigation yourself?
The behaviour seems rather petty and childish.

New job time this manager has seen her behaviour and by not addressing it sooner has given it the green light to continue maybe by losing more valuable members of staff they will realise where the problem lies

If you're her manager, you don't raise a grievance about her, you manage her under internal disciplinary processes surely?

And why are any of you having slanging matches between staff and managers?

So you are her manager? If so your behaviour is inappropriate and you need some leadership courses, irrelevant of if she is “winding you up” if you are her manager you should be able to navigate that situation without resorting to telling her to “shut up” etc/

Copying your hair colour or whatever, so what.

I wouldn’t go down the route of a grievance they are lengthy and from your post I don’t believe your behaviour would be in you favour.

It is all very childish and she has got away with it for years, it’s almost like they are scared to act on complaints about her.
I think a lot of it is I’m hurt because in the weeks before she made up the lies I was being helpful to her with things going on in her personal life and felt we had turned a corner and could actually chat about the weather and if she had had a good weekend etc, not to be friends but certainly colleagues that got along. Now I don’t even want to be in the same room as her.

Thank you, it’s just I hand on heart had gone out of my way to help her and be kind and put it all behind us and move forward and she then out of no where made up these lies and spoke really badly about me. I’m upset

She clearly thinks she has an in with the CEO, she went directly to them to get some time off and complain about being furloughed. So the CEO is probably letting you know, they do side with her and you might come off looking very bad. There are two instances when you have been to conflict resolution and mediation, so you’re not going to come out of this with an unblemished record if you follow it.

Copying your hair colour and the details of your wedding really isn’t enough to raise a grievance and bringing those up makes you look silly and childish. I get that it’s got to the point that every little thing feels like an issue now, but it really doesn’t look like anything concrete. Management should have pulled her up when she used offensive language to colleagues but that was 3 years ago. Unless you can prove she’s being lying about it’s just your word against hers. So no, I wouldn’t continue with the grievance but I would be looking to change jobs as it’s clear that management have never, and will never, deal with this woman.

I put in a grievance about my manager 3 steps above me, the union were useless, the grievance was looked into by another manager at the same level and my manager lied in his statement. I lost the grievance and requested an informal talk with the manager, I turned up to the meeting to find he had a member of my team as a witness to our conversation, I walked out.
I gave in my notice and my last week had a meeting with the CEO, he knew what had happened, but he couldn’t help me which I understood, I just told him if the practices going on in the department being enforced by the manager, such as getting a member of staff to manipulate figures presented to senior management. It appears the manager was already under the spotlight.
2 months after I left the manager left suddenly.

Also, wish it was a wedding she had copied, that would be fine

Keep a track of her behaviour and then whenever you leave the job you can raise the grievance just before you go. That way it goes on her record for when she does the same thing to others

The CEO does not have your back. This kind of grievance is her meat and drink - so I would not get involved. Your choices are to put up with it, move to another department, or change jobs.

I'm a union rep and agree with all the above except the leaving bit.

I suggest you take pp advice and take on training so you can improve your reactions, this will help you in future dealings with her. You are a manager and are expected to have certain standards - it's not acceptable for you to tell her to shut up, for instance.

If I was your boss I'd want to get rid of both of you! Seriously appalling behaviour. If this is not who you usually are - more jobs because your best side is not showing.

Move jobs not more jobs!

I didn't think you could raise a grievance against your own staff members. Would be manages via disciplinary.
If you are her Manager it was up to you to manage and address the behaviour and seek resolutions.
Managers deal with challenging staff, that's their job.
All sounds a bit unprofessional on your part really. Your Manager is right.

Thank you everyone for your constructive advice. I suppose I really just wanted a hand hold as I’m so hurt by her lies but hey ho. Seriously thank you x

It’s challenging because it’s easy for workers to blame the manager, especially with what we hear in the media. It’s rare to hear about a manager being bullied, but it’s definitely on the rise, largely due to workers who believe the system is on their side. While you could file a grievance against her, it must be supported by solid evidence, and I wouldn’t recommend it in your situation.
Instead, document her behaviour, focusing on genuine incidents and leaving out minor things like copying your hair colour. Your CEO should be redirecting her issues to you; remind them or your other managers that they have a duty of care not to undermine you.
Good luck, OP.

Reading this there is faults on both sides, your ceo is right, as she will raise a counter grievance. And clearly you have some faults. Why were you arguing with her for example as she was allowed off for a procedure but you couldn’t for a funeral, now is this her fault, and at what point is telling her to shut up ok.

so you can raise, but the ceo is right, it puts you also at risk as you’re not clean here,