I was rude to my boss

[Lilliesandviolets]

I’ve been at work this morning, it was an extra shift to help out 6am-10am. Just after 10am, as I was packing up, someone came in and asked me to do something that needed sorted by Tuesday which I have booked off on annual leave. My boss was there too and said to stay late and do it now or log on from home on Tuesday and sort it when I’m on leave. I was supposed to have an appointment at 10:15 so was in a rush to leave so rolled my eyes and sighed out of frustration more than anything else. It wasn’t specifically at him but I know I was rude. I’m having a spectacularly bad week and was in a rush to not miss my appointment but realise this isn’t an excuse. He definitely saw me roll my eyes. Now I’m back home I’m stressing about it and feel awful, do I apologise or is that going to make it even more awkward? He didn’t mention anything at the time but I have a 1:1 scheduled for next Friday so imagine something will be said then. It’s not like me at all and I’m going to be feeling guilty/worried all week now.

Don't feel guilty.

You were entitled to feel frustration at the unexpected request coming at you like that after your early shift.

Their lack of planning and poor manner of communication was dumped on you without consideration for your pre-booked day off.

You are not a robot. You are a human being with valid feelings.

If it's brought up in your 1 to 1, you could apologise if your manner came across as disrespectful, but that you were frustrated at their lack of planning being placed at your door.

I would incline towards 'least said, soonest mended' for something like this - it's not as though you told him to fuck off or similar. He was very unreasonable expecting you to stay late or work on A/L when this was already an extra shift you were doing as a favour.

If he mentions it in your 1-1 just point out the above and that you were worried about missing your appointment.

You are overthinking this

You were at the end of an extra shift on Saturday and quite naturally you needed to go. He has no business asking you to login on leave (that’s pretty outrageous).

You aren’t available and someone else will have to do it, which is what he will now know he should have sorted.

He probably won’t bring it up, but if he does just say - yeah sorry, I shouldn’t have rolled my eyes, but equally you shouldn’t have asked me to log on when on leave or assumed I could stay on. You needed to get someone else to sort it. you are allowed to stand up for yourself - he stands up for himself.

If it makes you feel any better I told my bosses boss (regional director) that he stinks of nepotism last week.

He'd just given a cushy promotion to the youngest, least qualified, least experienced applicant (who happened to be his bosses child 🤔)

I feel a bit worried but fuck him. Try and penalise me and we'll see what the union have to say.

I wouldn't have done it. You were doing an extra shift and were busy after, that is not your problem. You have annual leave booked on Tuesday and nothing that happens on that day is your problem. Bosses and managers have to account for this sort of thing, they are paid more for it. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it!

You weren’t even meant to be there, you were doing an extra shift. If they don’t have enough people to do the work required, that’s their job as managers.

I’d be pointing that out in the 1:1. Don’t let them treat you like a pushover. They were disrespectful of your time.

I wouldn't worry about being perceived as rude. You were doing an extra shift and had been asked to log on when on annual leave? Nope!

Thanks for the responses everyone. I’m trying to let it not ruin my long weekend. I know he was being unreasonable too but two wrongs don’t make a right a suppose. I’ll just leave it and not say anything- hopefully he doesn’t bring it up again as it’s totally out of character for me rather than a pattern of behaviour so hoping he’ll chalk it up to a bad day!

In the end I did stay and sort it and was late for my appointment so hoping that earns me back some grace!

You rolled your eyes and sighed.

I'm not sure that even registers as a "wrong".

You shouldn't have stayed, that was the only mistake you made here. Nobody values people who behave like doormats.

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Assertiveness

You haven't done anything wrong at all. You're an employee not a slave. Don't give it another second's thought.

I wouldn't worry at all, but I would have a response prepared in case it is brought up.

Something along the lines of - I was frustrated at being instructed to stay on when I needed to leave promptly at the end of my agreed shift. I also find it unreasonable bing asked to login when I am on annual leave.

I'm not sure whether I'd address it or not if he doesn't mention it but if anything like this happens again I would definitely politely explain that on this occasion you can't help because you have an appointment and won't be able to do it on your day off. It's give and take with things like this - the odd favour is one thing to help someone out but shouldn't be an expectation. I would only work on my days off by absolute exception in some sort of (semi) emergency.

You are all right, I do need to get better at standing up for myself (in a polite way). Ordinarily I wouldn’t have minded staying and helping out, it’s just been such a shitty week my frustrations got the better of me. I’ve got a relative on end of life care and todays appointment was a long awaited counselling appointment following an assault last year. Of course my boss doesn’t know anything about this so probably just thinks I’m a twat!

Thank you all for reassuring me. I’m off to pour myself a glass of wine before the irrational part of my brain tries to convince me I’m getting sacked 😂

100%

If he does bring it up - which like others, I doubt - apologise for the manner of communication but do also tell him about the EOL care situation. You're not a robot. You can't be expected to just constantly pick up the slack.