This describes us. Just be very wary that when you start in jnr school, the annual fees (before VAT was added into the frame) seems to only be a ‘small’ uplift from FT nursery fees (£1.5-2k pcm). We had two, 3 years apart. It seemed worth it because they could stay until 6pm. We’re moving my youngest, now 16, to a state 6th form (though it is a boarding 6th form) but, had we stayed, fees would have leapt to about £28k as a day pupil.
The boarding fees at the state 6th form are around £18k, and not subject to VAT, so a huge relief. Money was not the driver, my DS wanted to board and develop independence (has ASD), but DH and I are now thinking we can finally afford/justify a couple of adult-only annual breaks! Yay!
For us, although on paper affluent, we have a very large mortgage and volatility in DH’s industry has meant that we have financially planned on the very cautious side - although we have a luxury holiday every year and drive very nice cars, we have squirrelled everything else away to make sure there was always a cache of money to cover the kids education until 18 should he be made redundant and accrued savings so that in that event the mortgage can be paid off immediately.
We haven’t saved for uni, deciding that student loans are perfectly fine, we can afford to top up (will have to due to DC not being eligible for full maintenance grants), but feel that money will be available in time to settle their student debts (inheritance from GPs, equity release from the family home when we downsize etc). One plans on med school, so should be perfectly able to meet the monthly repayment costs of the loan anyway!
In the end whether we justify it is based on the kids experience - both mine are ASD/ADHD but academically high functioning. Being in a school with small classes meant they were able to made closer friendship bods, the teachers really go to know them and were better able to support them. They were both privileged with being in a pretty idyllic physical setting - 135 acres, woods they could hang out int, ride bikes etc, a stunning historic main house, state of the art theatres. The demographic is very mixed and more multi-cultural than the local state schools - from A listers from the telly to builders/plumbers, US sports stars/coaches and boring professionals like DH and me, plus people boarding from several continents.
Their understanding of the larger world, and their confidence of their place and worthiness within it, has grown because of it. It was not an academically selective school, so although my kids are grade A students, they have friends who are dancers, sporty, musical who will go down completely different paths, which means that although they value their academic educations, they value and respect the range of educational and life paths their friends (and their parents) have gone down. For us, the investment has been worth every penny because they have both turned into pretty lovely, caring and compassionate people.
[NB not getting into the debate about the relative merits of state schools in achieving this. Both DH and I are state educated. The thread is about whether it is worthwhile considering private school if you can afford it.]