Returning to work after first baby

[AAK1]

So I am only 25 and a first time mummy. I am fortunate that my husband makes alot of money and financially I don’t need to return to work. My goal in life has always been to be a mum I have never been career focused, although I have a very good job!
so I am due to return back to work next year after my maternity ends but I really don’t want to go back. The thing that is encouraging me to go back is people judging me and thinking I’m too young to stop working! I know it’s such a stupid reason but I just can’t help but feel like people will judge!

I’m thinking of training and becoming a doula.

whats everyone’s opinion, would I be stupid for not going back?

If there is still 4+ months until you are due to return, you don’t need to make a decision now. You might be more ready to go back in a few months.

However, if you can afford not to go back and your husband is in agreement, you don’t have to. You’re married so that is in your favour for protecting you but you want to make sure you can have access to joint money without asking and still be aware of what is happening financially in your life. So many women leave the finances to their husbands and find themselves shafted if their marriage ends.

I have known a lot of people who are widowed young and obviously divorce happens, so I would suggest you maintain your skills by volunteering or doing training regularly. Ensure you can enter the job market easily, should you need to. Your missed pension contributions should also be seen as a household bill and your husband should be topping those up. Once you’ve protected yourself as much as possible, do what works for your family.

Would part time be possible in your current role?

There are lots of benefits to returning to work including eg pensions, maintaining financial independence, not starting again from the bottom, mental stimulation.

If I was you I’d be thinking more practically about work rather than what people might think. Is your husband going to be paying into a separate pension for you each month for example is a big consideration? If he’s not, I wouldn’t be giving up work.

Also think about how easy it would be for you to get back into your career if you took a break from it, is it something you could walk back into, or would years off set you back massively?

Other things- do you have a joint account with free access to all household funds? If not, don’t give up work.

Nobody plans for their relationship to fall apart but it does often happen, there are hundreds of threads on here to show that. Protect yourself as much as you can, if he walked away from you in 5 years time and you’ve been unemployed for 4 years, will you be able to get a job again to fund yours & child’s life? Will you have access to money? Will you have a pension? All things I’d strongly consider.

I’m in a similar position in that my maternity leave will be over next year and technically, financially, I don’t HAVE to go back to work, my husband could easily support our household and is happy for me to leave work. But I have a good job, I enjoy my work, I don’t want to lose my independent or my pension and so instead I’m going to drop my hours and return to work 3 days a week, with the ability to go back to full time once my baby & any subsequent babies are all at school. That way nobody loses, and if the worst was to happen and we end up separating (can’t imagine it but nobody expects it really do they) then I can immediately go back to full time hours, rather than having to start job hunting with a young child and having to find something that works.

You need to work out whether you're going to let other people's opinions rule your life, or if going forward you're going to make your own decisions.

As your child gets older, there will be lots of decisions you'll have to make for them too and other people will always have an opinion on it.

Just do what's right for you and your family 🤷‍♂️

@JabbaTheBeachHut thank you for your input , yes I do realise that I am not silly however I am going and Ofcourse it’s a scary decision so maybe just need some reassurance!

@Mrsttcno1 @VestPantsandSocks @WhereIsMyLight
thank you for all your comments! It’s good to hear other people’s opinions and perspectives! I would definitely make sure that I am able to put some money aside for myself once a month whether that be into a pension or investment account!
I feel like your baby is only so small for a short period of time we might as well enjoy the time with them !

I didn't say you were silly and nor do I think it.

My point is, you need to make decisions based on what's best for you and your family, not on whether other people will judge you for it.

@JabbaTheBeachHut i know and I agree 100% I just can’t help but have the thoughts at the back of my head haha! Hopefully I get over it and just make a decision!!