Wanting to get a job after 22 years and old age

[Noras]

Up until now, my life has been a blur for the last 20 plus years as I have struggle to bring up my SEN DS. His early years were awful as he had regular lengthy fits, low muscle tone, language disorder and as it turned out ASD. As he grew older, he needed considerable support at school to have any chance of getting any qualifications. Moving forward he is now aged 20 and at life skills for pre university ASD. His ongoing issues are the ASD, receptive language, dyspraxia ( quite severe) and non existent executive functioning. He also gets 15 hours per week social care and gets UC/ high level pip. He has learnt to be more independent and is slowly learning how to make his own revision notes. We still pay for lots of tutoring in English to help with the language disorder ( he struggles to see mistakes and get word order correct etc),

I have been ‘lucky’ to be able to stay at home to support him as DH work pays ok for is to manage well etc. It hasn’t felt lucky it has felt exhausting at times and bitty at others. Everything has been a fight eg getting the right support at school, school could not get a PA even when a dedicated 1:1 was in EHCP, then arguing for transport to life skills and having to argue re UC benefits etc ( that went to my MP and the Minister of State). I’ve also had experience of tribunal just to get some OT and SALT. My life has been exhausting and at times a blur.

However I can see an escape. Here’s the thing. If social services get their act together and ensure more social care hours during holidays and if the agency works out I could get work .

I absolutely hate my life. I hate being stuck at home and feeling worthless but against that is even if I get that extra support I’m still having to pick up the slack eg sort out PA timesheets and rotas, train PA and organise his activities in holidays etc. But now with this support this is my chance to escape the house.

So now the issue is that I’m too old and have no relevant skill set. I was a lawyer but can’t go back to that as it was high value road traffic accidents and I’m too out of date. Realistically I can’t work a high pressurised job. Although qualified as a solicitor I only have a 2:2 degree from a good RG although frankly in the 1980s that was the norm for the majority in my year. I was well paid as a solicitor earning about £45,000 in 2001. I was fairly senior but the job was so stressful that I was looking to re train as a tax consultant, started the at home course ( ACTA to become a chartered tax adviser ) and then DS was born.

I have no idea what to do and how to get back into work as I’m late 50’s. I want to earn my own money as I hate living off DH and inheritance money/ carers. I would like to do something that is worthwhile and absorbing.

However in the mood I’m in even shop work is better that staying home. However there doesn’t seem to be any jobs around at present.

How can I find a job as there seems to be nothing for me. Law firms want young people as paralegals to invest in so that’s not really an option.

You are never too old to start over! I think it's fabulous you want to go back to work. 💖

Fellow sn's mom

You're fantastic as are the mums of all disabled children. Have you tried the civil service, they're family friendly if you can get a foot in the door?

This is a great idea. Look for jobs with your local council.

Citizens Advice must employ people and might be glad of your background and maturity?

AgeUK too?

Could you advertise yourself privately to help folks complete their tax returns? (Pin money but from little acorns …..)

Where there’s a will there’s a way, and sometimes thinking outside the box spawns an idea we hadn’t thought of. Keep searching, put the word out, talk to anyone who will listen. You are an educated woman, you have life skills too, you’re not too old.

Good luck.

Is it worth volunteering in a charity shop for a few months, just to build some confidence and work out how having to be somewhere affects your home life?

Your knowledge and experience of the sn/support/benef world + legal background would be gold dust to a charity or relevant advice organisation. They won’t pay what you used to get and the job titles may be a bit hard to fathom but maybe have a look in those arenas?

I would think that the experience you have fighting for your DS’s support would be invaluable to a lot of people. Citizen’s advice as someone said before; acting as a support worker, or freelance? I am not in this field so don’t know, but could you ask around the organisations where you have had contact and ask people if there are jobs like this?

Charities and local councils employ benefits advisors. Or an advocacy role with a charity.
You have excellent experience.

Or what about a social work assistant?
Or therapy assistant (speech, physio, OT) at the local hospital or community team?

Your experience in all these areas will be more valuable than any concerns over age

I tried citizens advice and a law advice agency but they prefer law students/ recent graduates and every post has to be sponsored. I would have happily volunteered.

What about a charity like SSAFA who do casework for veterans and have volunteers in local branches? They’d love your skill set

I have even asked a solicitor who has her own practice if I could work for free and support her with her SEN caseload. I seem to have got nowhere there.

I do feel frustrated as I know that I could be useful. I recently took on a utility company and got them to reinstate a lengthy driveway. They had no idea what hit them when I quoted back the correct interpretation of the Gas Act and regs to them.

i took my son’s case to Tribunal and got direct therapy,

I helped organise a charity ball and got auction bits from Dame Judy Dench and David Williams etc.

i think that the Council dread me as I have fought long and hard for my son and was quoting all the recent Ombudsman cases re adult transport to get door to door ( 30 miles each way) for him.

As a young professional I would regularly instruct and work with one of the country’s best barristers now a high court judge and a Lord and had excellent training that way.

I appreciate thst I have to start low but there aren’t even any jobs in bookshops or John Lewis.

Thanks I’ll get in touch,

I agree civil service or local government. Perhaps some kind of compliance work that you can build qualifications in paid by your employer? Something like audit, governance or data protection? Being a solicitor in the past will likely hugely help you through the door of entry level roles in those kinds of careers.

I think you need to change your thinking a bit. You're approaching this as 'who would have me' but you need to think more of 'what do I want from a job'.

It sounds like you'd want to be out of the house meeting people, mental challenge, sense of fulfillment. What else? How important is money? Do you want it to be in something along the same lines as law? What do you see as your key skills? Analysis, communication?

The years with your son haven't been wasted. Write down what you've gained. Patience, perseverance, admin and organisation skills. Communication and medical understanding etc.

Get pen and paper and write what you want from a job, key skills, what your dream job would be, what you'd like to be in ten years' time.

I'm not saying it's easy, lots of firms want young grads as you say. But it will help if you can present yourself with confidence and know what you're looking for in a job.

Risk management is another

I have two friends who were in c

Look at NHS admin roles too.

I have two friends who were in very similar circumstances a couple of years ago. One has got retail jobs and the other is working in a school. It's definitely doable and they are both much happier for doing it. Good luck. 🍀

Check out your local FE Colleges for pastoral or learner services roles. I work in an FE College and the amount of learners we have with additional needs is rising year on year so our learner services and pastoral care teams are always growing and your experience with your DS would be invaluable.
There are also loads of other support roles in a college that are not learner facing but still very rewarding.

Sorry you haven’t had luck with volunteering etc yet. I retrained only a little younger than you for a shortage profession (too outing to be more specific ). I’d keep trying with charities and also try other public sector eg NHS. Volunteer if needed to get experience but it sounds to me like you have loads to give . Just take some of your amazing tenacity that you’ve used for your son and apply it to the job search. Good luck!

First, congratulations on being a terrific parent. Don’t underestimate the difference you have made to your son’s life.

But some of the suggestions on here are a bit optimistic. There are lots of applicants out there for civil service or charity roles and age discrimination is real.

What about TA work? Where we are there are lots of vacancies - since the advent of working from home, the school holiday bonus is no longer as desirable.

Or how about volunteering for a charity shop and looking for a paid manager role within that organisation? I see them advertised frequently. An acquaintance of mine volunteered at a food bank and is now their paid manager.

I appreciate you had a great career at one stage but as so many of us know, once you’ve dropped out (and 20 years), it’s really tough to go back. Whatever you do, I wish you lots of luck.

I am amazed your local CitA doesn't want you to volunteer. Generally you start as an assessor then after your training you can get certificated as an adviser. It takes a while as generalist adviser training is a lengthy process but you sound more than capable. However each local office is different and yours may be under financial pressure. If they are looking for volunteers it should be on their website. You can look outside your local office and see what neighbouring towns or boroughs local Cit A are offering/ looking for. Assuming you can travel a bit.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/job-and-voluntary-opportunities/

I was out of the workplace for over a decade and returned slowly starting as a volunteer now I am 50 and have a manager/ supervisor position in a local CA. I have children with Autism, ADHD and several people I line manage do as well. It is a service that can use the skills you develop when supporting your children. But there are other advocacy and advice services so use a site like Charity Job to see what opportunities there are for you. Good luck.

If you're willing to take an entry level, low paid position try the Civil Service to get you out of the house and back to work. Lots of vacancies in Customer Service with hybrid working, part time hours and flexibility.

I was 57 when I joined and I love it.

Also lots of retail vacancies being advertised now in the run up to (oh god!) Christmas.

Temping is a really good way to get into perm work as once people know you they are much more likely to offer you a job, and in the meantime you're building your experience back up and getting something recent on the CV. I'd join all the agencies you can and take whatever you can get to start off with. Do you live near a university or large hospital? They often have their own in-house temp agencies which are also worth a look.

Are you willing/able to spend time re-training, or hoping to get something straight away? Your skills are invaluable, its just trying to find that niche or somewhere that your skills are transferrable.

I agree that the civil service can be very varied. NHS also do apprenticeships- not just for new grads but everything from 1st roles up through management and covering all manner of roles, not just front line.
www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/career-planning/study-and-training/nhs-apprenticeships