Advice needed

[FirmBlueRaven]

Hi my baby is 5 months old and im stuck in a cycle of what to do in september, I think my problem is i feel guilty for leaving her and I don’t want to miss out on milestones and her growing up. Other obstacles are money (we want to buy a house) and we want another baby quite soon.

The basic gist of it is- I have 2 options

1. Go to the uni course I got accepted in to. But its 9-6 Mon-Fri which means baby will be in Nursery 8-6 everyday and then my mums for an hour afterwards. Which means I’ll have a student loan towards a house and I can have new baby after 1st year finishes and go back for 2nd year as expected with both babies in Nursery.

I could also take a year out now and start 1st year next September (but this would mean having to work) OR do 1st year and then start 2nd year in Jan 2026 or virtual learning

2.Dont go to uni and go back to work where I could work opposite shifts to partner for childcare (we work in a restaurant) and I would work 16 hours a week and then qualify for nursery places. This would mean Little Girl would be in Nursery 2 days a week and the rest of the time with me and I could then get maternity pay again. Which leaves me to either go to uni in 2025 or wait until both kids are in school full time, so another 5/6 years away. Which means we couldn’t afford to move and then the kids would have to go to breakfast club, afterschool club and then my mums after that.

I’m really tearing myself apart trying to figure out the best course of action. My mum and friends say- if you’re going to go to uni anyways might aswell go now whilst the babies wont remember and then we can move house and be there for the babies when they are school aged for holidays, hobbies, homework…
But then the thought of leaving my baby girl and missing milestones breaks my heart and then leaving another baby in nursery too. On the contrary, I feel like if I’m going to go to uni anyway putting it off is just delaying the inevitable. PLEASE HELP ME!!

What are you’re experiences of babies and uni? going back to work? What do you think is the best course of action?

What's the uni course?

You could bin off uni and stay in the dead end(?)/low paid job, and then miss her first steps because you're in the shower while your partner looks after her. Or miss her first word because you were in the kitchen boiling the kettle and she said it to your partner in the living room.

There will still be the first time she speaks to you or walks to you. It's impossible to witness every first, but it'll still be wonderful.

You're still going to be part of all her milestones and arguably the most important person in her life either way.

@owladventure It’s Primary Education.
I suppose I never thought about it that way, She could learn to walk whilst I’m at work. I think Its just major mum guilt, thankyou for that it’s kind of hit me into reality !