Career stopping after children?

[acrossthemoors]

This is more of an idle ‘just wondering’ thread … like a lot of people I went part time after having first child. I now have two and probably won’t really be in a position to work FT again (and thus gain any promotions) until both have left primary school by which time I’m not sure I’ll be in a great position for promotion.

I can see it’s possible if you have your children quite young. Or if you earn a lot so that private school is possible.

Or am I being ridiculous? 😅

Maybe it depends on your industry but working part time shouldn’t hold you back from promotions and doesn’t at my workplace so climbing the ladder is possible in all working patterns

Ah that’s interesting - it definitely does in mine.

Theoretically, with a job share, there is no reason part time workers cant progress up the career ladder but I totally agree with you. That isn't what happens. Once I went part time,I only got given crap jobs to do with no possibility of promotion and now I have had to totally give up work. I would be really interested to know any careers where people have managed to keep progressing during part time working?

Working pt has not held me back nor my colleagues. Most work pt.

I now have two and probably won’t really be in a position to work FT again (and thus gain any promotions) until both have left primary school

If you want to carry on your career-can you use childcare?

We have good wrap around care at our (state) primary school enabling both of us to work full time. I imagine it depends on your area but where we are there are plenty of after school clubs and holiday clubs to allow it, and I am full time with 2 young children.

Why can't you work full time, if you want to? Surely just use wrap around care before/after school. And assuming you have a partner, they should be doing a fair share of drop off / pick ups, why is it always the mum taking the hit career wise. I would never even consider dropping my hours unless my DH did the same. I'm not sure why it only works if you have kids young or can afford private school.

Not sure what private school has to do with it. If you work FT you need to use wrap around care whatever type of school they are in.

You seem to be writing off your whole career because you don’t want to work full time or use childcare?

Does your workplace offer different working patterns? Compressed hours? Or like others say use wrap around care if working full time is essential. But there are workplaces that do support PT and don’t let it hold you back so could you look at moving to another employer who would support it?

Of course you can work FT, I have 3 and do! I just use paid childcare. There was a time when I was paying out more in childcare than I received in income but it was short - lived. In that time I have been promoted several times and now the childcare costs have come down and I am earning more than ever. Had I reduced my hours because I had children we would definitely not be in the same position now.

This.

Or DH could work part time for a few years.

Depends on industry, I have gone part time and take massive back steps, tried full time but couldn’t keep doing the seventy hour weeks without having a massive impact on my family, the difference in them now is massive, I am happier too but still feel frustrated that I had to make the decision.

I carried on working full time. Found an employer relatively close to the primary school so I could drop off at 8.40, be at my desk at 9, leave at 5.30 and collect from ASC at ten to six.

Being a single mum focuses the mind. There were no alternatives unless I wanted to live on benefits and lose our house.

I think it depends on how part-time is part-time with regards to career progression. Someone working 4 days a week would most likely progress more quickly than someone working 2/3 days a week... certainly in my industry anyway!

Sorry my comment was in response to @Geneticsbunny

Nope just shelled out for childcare. I have 3 kids and senior role.

I have ‘idle wonderings’ of the opposite nature. I work FT with DC in childcare, I have continued to progress my career but I do feel like I am missing out on raising my children. I look at parents who are able to collect their children from school or head to the park midweek and wonder if I have made the right decision.

Apart from a short period I have worked full time, raised 2 children (much of the time as a lone parent), didn't have them particularly young (28 and 38) and have had a successful, professional career.

What's private school got to do with it?

We planned from the start not to use childcare and due to a number of circumstances we both ended up stopping work. But it has been lovely to both be able to do the school run, go together to school events, etc. We both very much enjoyed our careers but don't miss them now. The two youngest are teens now and it has been lovely to help them with their 11+ and GCSE work.

I did- had my first at 25 and got a management position in the civil service at 31. Had another baby at 35 and got a further promotion at 41. Now 44 and aiming to get my last promotion to senior management.

I spent my early 20s messing about in silly jobs. I was capable enough to have secured a degree and better paying job in my early 20s. I could've progressed much faster in the civil service if I hadn't have had my kids- particularly at the ages I did (10 years apart). I would've been a senior manager (and higher- don't want to say too much about where I work without being outing) about 10 years ago but also probably would've had to work shifts/nights/weekends which I never do.

I have mainly worked full time over the past 20 years but had the benefit of flexible hours, good maternity pay, good leave etc.

I had my eldest completely on my own but family helped a lot with childcare.

Youngest's dad worked less than me/earned less and did/still does 50% of the childcare.

I also relied heavily on tax credits with my eldest for nursery fees which I'm eternally grateful for but this enabled me to progress to give back more to the state.

I have always been able to attend school events, done some of the school run, take to mid week activities etc but again that was the child friendly environment/flexible hours. I did have to make a decision when I had my first not to pursue a more lucrative career route within our branch of the civil service as the hours weren't family friendly/fixed shifts/harder to get time off etc.

I definitely wish I had chosen a different career, I have friends that manage full time as their hours are more flexible/ can work from home at times etc. Whereas I was struggling to manage with the wraparound care, and was exhausted from working until late. It’s just not something I really realised until it was too late. I was burnt out and the kids were miserable, I do feel frustrated at times though, Hopefully will get back to it one day.

I did reduced hours by choice when mine were younger. But as soon as I was ready I applied for promotion and got it and went full time. Not unusual where I am