Creepy boss

[Bossissue]

Hopefully NC as don’t want this linked to my main account.

I have an issue with my boss.
Fortunately, he is not in the office every day as he’s the area manager but comes in about once a week/fortnight.

He’s always given me the creeps a little bit but I felt it was because he thinks he’s Gods gift and likes being in power.

He was obviously quite taken back by me as the other women in my team are at least 10 years older than me.
I also wear make up, nail varnish, perfume and do my hair etc which most of the other women don’t (I don’t know if this is relevant).

He was very nice to me in the beginning and I thought it was because I was new.
I am also a nice person and a hard worker, which has always been recognised in my old workplaces and so when he started saying these things, it didn’t register as anything inappropriate.

But he would start saying things like I have nice hair or smell nice (all things that I would say to my colleagues and they would say to me).
But it’s escalating and it’s obvious he fancies me.

He keeps trying to find excuses for us to be alone.
We work in a communal office but there’s always a reason I need to help him in another room.
I assumed this was because I was new at first.

He will keep putting his hand on my back or arm and just stares and smiles at me.

The issue is, is that he’s not doing anything actually wrong but I can feel the intent behind his ‘innocent’ words and stares.
He makes me feel a bit sick.

The other issue is that there have been redundancies or changes in colleagues hours/places of work recently but mine has stayed the same.
This has caused a bit of tension between some of the other women as they’ve been there for years and I’ve been there less than a year.
So I don’t feel I can speak to anyone at work because I don’t want anyone thinking that this is how I’ve kept my job.

I’m not sure what I want from this thread but I’m wondering what other posters would do in this situation.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting.

He is doing something wrong, though. He's touching you, for one thing. He's making inappropriate comments, for another. He shouldn't be commenting on your personal appearance or how you smell etc. He's making excuses to get you alone. You need to report him before someone says that you are the one acting inappropriately in order to keep your job.

Be careful of yourself and take care, it’s clear he does have intentions toward you. I would not want to be going off to other rooms with him, is there any plausible excuse you can come up with to remain in the communal area?

I feel you; even though we are supposed to have moved on, there can be a lot if stigma around women employees subjected to this sort of treatment.

Do you think you could send some signals that would put him off physically touching you? I know this can be tricky, but maybe just get into the habit of removing yourself from the situation as soon as you have completed what you need to do.

You honestly can’t win as a woman in the workplace. If you are polite and nice and approachable then you’re perceived as flirty and asking for attention; if you are aloof you are seen as a bitch or are overlooked by male managers for opportunities.

Wishing you luck and reminding you that you are more than entitled to your boundaries and space.

It feels wrong but I worry I won’t be taken seriously if I mention he touched my back or said I smell nice - when other colleagues do this all of the time but not in an inappropriate way.

I am worried that someone will accuse me of leading him on or think that this is the reason I have kept my job as it is (which probably is why to be honest).

I’m worried I have left it a bit too late or whether I am overreacting and should wait until I have something more concrete.

Thank you for understanding.

I do move away and try not to sit next to him by waiting until he’s sat down before finding a seat.

But to be honest I’m quite a passive person (potentially autistic) and struggle to know how to put my boundaries in place very well.
I tend to not know something is inappropriate until it’s too late, especially if it’s not obvious to begin with like this.

If the team was more supportive I would feel more comfortable saying something.
But I have overheard conversations like “why doesn’t she have to change her hours/workplace, she’s new it should be last one in first one out” etc.