Want to retire, scared to retire

[PollyDollyDaydream]

I started work at 16 (I'm now 61) and worked hard to increase my level of qualifications along the way having had a terrible education.

I've worked at my present company for 20 years, three days a week, close to home and have complete autonomy to undertake my work. I know how lucky I am to have that but it has always been an extremely frustrating place to work. The frustrations are typical of the industry. I have just got on with it and tried to do my absolute best, always being grateful for a secure job, particularly when I left my first husband to get my DS and myself free from physical, emotional and financial abuse. At that time my job was a life saver both financially and emotionally.

In my role, there are many days of feeling like I am hitting my head against a brick wall when all I want to do is help people develop and thrive in their roles. There is virtually no recognition of a job well done within my own departmental function and employee engagement is a big challenge which I cannot say I am any nearer winning and right now I feel I never will.

Having paid into pensions from every job I've had I have established that I could afford to retire (I'm 61). I have a lot of hobbies so I am not worried about filling my time. I am very grateful for a lovely DH after leaving my long and abusive first marriage 11 years ago and I have a wonderful and financially independent DS. But I'm scared! And I don't know what it is I'm scared of?

I know this isn't a first world problem and many will say, just do it - what are you waiting for? The only breaks I've had from getting up and going to work were maternity leave and lockdown. I feel that I don't know how to get off that merry go round because it's all I've ever known. Being an employee, doing the best job I can, and having the security of being paid every month.

It would be great to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation and what it was that made you just finally take the leap.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

is your dh retired? what’s his pension looking like?

He is already retired - has been for the last 12 years. He would love me to retire but does understand my fear in giving up such a good situation. I keep thinking though that maybe I should look at it in giving it up for someone else to benefit from. Although a part of me would feel for the level of frustration that they would experience !!

I retired at 57. Pension not massive but enough to have a good life. I do not regret it for a minute.

I am going through exactly the same thing at the moment.
I want to leave my current job (part time)..…..it’s either so, so busy and stressful, or I am scratching around looking for something to fill my time. There is no happy medium.
In reality I could afford to retire now, (DH is already retired and would love me to do so too) but I have an expensive hobby which takes up 3/4 hours a day so a part time job is ideal. Looking around I could get the perfect PT job closer to home and much less stressful. However, I can’t imagine not going to my current workplace and speaking to my current colleagues (now friends) as I have been there over 20 years.
Its an enormous decision to make!

For some people a jump straight from full-time to retired is too sudden, if you work full-time could you ask your employer about going part-time for a while?

@OddBoots OP already works part time.

Could you apply for a different job? A change is as good as a rest!

Sorry, I missed that.

Retirement is a big life event, I can understand why you would be scared. Change is not always easy.

I retired earlier this year. My approach so far has been to take things easy and be kind to myself. Like you I have a lot of hobbies and am continuing with those. Yes it is a big transition, but I am still the same person.

I would recommend listening to the Retirement Café podcast and/or reading the Retirement Café Handbook. I found both of those very helpful.

I totally agree and I have very similar feelings about a responsibility to people I have worked with since I've been here. I know my leaving will affect them too. Rationally, I know I can't be responsible for what they do but it is still difficult.

Thank you for the suggestions, I've been looking for something like this that may answer some other questions I have about the financial side of things also.

I do actually feel that I've reached a point where I don't have the headspace to work somewhere new. Mainly because I anticipate that it would be very tiring - and I'm very tired of the whole work routine if I'm totally honest.

When you say your DH understands your fear of giving up a great situation - what is the great situation you are talking about? You are wasting three days a week in a job you find highly frustrating and seem to have outgrown years ago when you don't need the money and can afford to retire. I would be out of there like a shot if I were you - you've done your time.

Retire, go on holidays , go for coffees or lunches, pursue your hobbies ,volunteer . Some people don't live long or stay healthy enough to enjoy retirement .

I recently engaged a financial advisor. I don't think you need to make a decision immediately but if you speak to someone who can look your situation with the knowledge of pensions etc then you can make an informed decision. I'm a little bit younger than you so your situation sounds amazing. 3 days a week, still paying in etc but maybe I won't feel that way in a couple of years.

The bottom line is when you leave work for the last time the waves roll over and fill the gap!
No-one is indispensable.
You have hobbies and interests outside of work.
You can afford to retire financially.
You presumably want to spend time with your husband.
No-one knows how much time we have left or what will happen in the future.
You have earned this.
Now enjoy it.

OP, I'm the same age and have exactly the same problem. My mortgage will be paid off shortly. I have a sufficient pension. There is no reason why I still work 5 days a week, and yet.....

I'm a single mum and I can't help feeling I'd be mad to give up my career and my income, because once it's gone, it's gone. Yet what am I working for?

I've finally settled on a plan that when I am next made redundant (not rare in my industry), I just won't look for another job. Sort of retirement by default.

But I understand completely how you feel. It's that nagging memory of poverty and needing to cover your bills in an emergency. You aren't alone. 🙂

😂Through a unique set of circumstances he was able to retire very early and since then has been able to do home based work/hobby activity and looking after us as a blended family when our children were at home.

Watch this