Is it possible to have a 'bullying' boss, even if you're freelance.... anyone else feared complaining in case they'll lose their job / contract?

[BBJ]

Hiya

Top line says it all really.

I'm a freelancer and work under a (flimsy to be honest) contract in the media business. For the benefit of the uninitiated, because working in the media industry tends to be quite sought-after, it tends to breed a certain kind of manager - usually the type who either thinks you should be grateful for the work and that gives them carte blanche to treat you like sh*t. In part I agree that I should be grateful for the work I do (I'm only part-time, on the whole am with the kids) but lately my bosses behaviour has really been upsetting me. Maybe I'm just too thin-skinned and over-sensitive??? But I am good at my job (I like to think).

The problem is, I barely speak to him (we're based in different parts of the country) and because of this we haven't really forged a great 'work friendship / relationship' though ordinarily when we do talk we get on fine.

He does though fly off the handle v easily. As part of my job, if a problem occurs I occasionally need to call him for help - usually it's on his Friday / Saturday night when he's not in work-mode - so I can appreciate it must be annoying, but the few times I've called him, it's been in dire emergency when I really need his help and no one else is able to. The last few times this has happened, he has been really rude. Examples:

"Oh for F*cks sake, what now?"

"I'm not being funny, this is MY f*cking Saturday night - can't xyz deal with it?"

On these occasions I've calmly apologised for having to disturb him, and have explained that he is my last port of call as no one else can help (FYI - he rarely gets called 'out of hrs' and it is a sort of unwritten part of his job to help deal with problems if they occur, so I'm not being out-of-line in contacting him).

Tonight I was trying to explain to him (on text as he turned his phone off at one point) that he may need to organise additional cover and he just kept writing back rude texts saying things like "what do you mean?? What are you trying to say now? Can you make yourself clear?" etc etc. I honestly had made the work situation and my text explanations clear and concise. Double-checked these w/ my husband earlier and he simply said "Uh? Why didn't he get it? Of course you've been clear!" - maybe my boss was drunk, I guess???

The trouble is, he flies off the handle, doesn't always handle stress well and according to a colleague who's known him longer than I have, he has a history of being like this. He does have a lot on his plate I know, but the way he treats me makes me feel really intimidated and almost...bullied - is that too strong a word? Put it this way, when things kept going wrong at work this evening (technical probs - of which I'm not qualified etc to deal with) I was really scared of having to phone him again.

He also does this annoying thing of saying things like "Alright - don't panic!!!" when it's clearly HIM panicing not me...

Trouble is, I am freelance, my contract is not really worth the paper it's written on (indicative of the industry in which I work) and it's a v small industry - no one wants to be seen as a trouble maker...

Sorry - I know this is long. Wondered if anyone had any thoughts / experience / advice??

Thanks!!!

Howe badly do you need this work? How enjoyable is it? Is there anything else you could do?

I work freelance too and understand your problem. But tbh I only work for nice people if at all possible, I know I am fortunate to be able to choose but I have been in positions in the past when I just could not bring myself to deal with obnoxious people just for money. for me it is not worth it.

IIWY I would probably be a bit more direct with him and see how he takes it. He may be someone who sees your politeness/timidness as weakness and despises you for allowing yourself to be spoken to in a disrespectful fashion. He may respond better to a bit of mettle. Or he may be an obnoxious twunt who you shouldn't have to work for.

I once went on a work trip with a woman that was perfectly placed to commission me regularly, I had thought that she could be very useful work-wise. But when I had the displeasure of spending a few days with this thoroughly unpleasant specimen, I decided that money couldn't pay me to be nice to her just for the possibility of work.

It sounds as though you've convinced yourself that you have to put up with it. Is he really your only possible source of work? Could you put a lot of energy into finding a new source of work so that you can quietly let him go?

One of the reasons I went freelance was so that I would be able to tell people like this to stick their jobs up their fundaments.

I am contracting as well, and am pretty careful because I am always aware how easily they could get rid of me. Am v lucky with my colleagues at the moment though.
In your situation, I'd try and find something else, I think. Probably easier said than done.

I find that a great help is to sit back and think about the amount of money that I just earned in the last minute, if someone annoys me. Usually more than them, unless tehy are a contractor too.

A silly question maybe, but is he the one that hired you?

I also freelance in the media and my boss is the b**ch from hell. Never responds to emails and so when deadlines near I have to call and she can barely spare the 10 seconds she gives me.

I wrote a snotty email to her manager and now deal with him. Because I wasn't desperate for the work (although would hate to lose it) I said she either started treating me as the professional I am or should look elsewhere.

What is it with these people?