Can work expect my attendance?

[Sendinsanity]

Does anyone know where I stand with my job? I work 9.30-2 5 days a week during school hours. My contract doesn't specify those as my hours but that I work 22.5 hours a week. It is in my contract they can expext me to attend things that are reasonable requests outside of my usual hours. We have a whole service catch up scheduled 1-4.30pm that they want me to go to.

I have two disabled children with EHCPs and significant needs. They are let out of school 15 minutes early to get my oldest out safely before the chaos. Oldest has a blue badge. I don't have anyone else to do school runs and they can't attend wrap around. They can't just be released to a neighbour/other school parent etc. due to the risk to my oldest in particular. Their dad was last seen January 2017 before disappearing into things air.

Can work reasonably insist I go?

Sorry OP, this must be frustrating, particularly with your manager’s support. Do you have a relationship with the seniors/can you contact them? In your shoes, I think I’d be writing an honest email explaining the situation and requesting really politely if they could swap round the agenda so you can leave at your normal time. Surely it’s better that you are present for the content and miss the “fun bit” and it doesn’t sound like there’s any reason this can’t be done? (I get it’s probably ice-breaker type activities at the start, but there could surely be a quick 15 min ice breaker and then into content, with some of the other getting to know you stuff at the end?)

I agree with the PP that it’s always best to present solutions in these sorts of situations, so I’d be putting this forward, as it’s the only possible option if they’re insisting you attend. I really hope it’s a case of - they don’t know your circumstances and once it’s spelled out to them they realise it’s a sensible thing to do, but it obviously depends on how much you want to tell them about your personal life. I’m not saying I think you should have to do this, not at all, it’s simply what I would do, as it goes direct to the source, and offers a compromise of sorts, giving you a paper trail of acting reasonably. The downside is it prevents you taking a sick day later if they say no and that’s the only option you’re left with, but given you’ve already asked not to attend, that’s possibly already the case anyway.

I also agree with putting in a formal FWR. If you’re a civil servant (sounds like you might be) you could also get a carer’s passport so that if you swap jobs in the future you don’t have to jump through all the hoops again https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/carers-passport

Is there a sound business reason why the meeting is at that time?

I would not ordinarily schedule an all hands meeting at that time precisely because it would be problematic for part time staff

What would happen to your DC if you were taken ill during the day and unable to go to collect them, or if you were rushed into hospital? Not the point of the thread, I know, but worrying that you have no back up plan at all.

They know full well what your home situation is and that this is the reason why you only work these particular hours during term time.

So it is unreasonable to ask you to do anything outside these hours.

I would make this clear to your manager and frankly it is their job to support you and make it clear to anyone who question this that there is no alternative and that you can only attend an event within your usual hours.

Forgive my asking - what is an ET?

This is exactly what I always think.

Have you checked out what their HR policy is for care givers?

I’m in a very similar situation to you and my youngest son was also diagnosed with a rare genetic illness when he was a baby. When I worked they made it extremely difficult for me to take time off for hospital appointments etc. i think things may have changed a bit though in terms of legal responsibilities for those providing care to disabled children/parents.

Can they record the 14 minutes that you should be there, so that you can watch it later with your manager?

I would go and then have school phone me when it all goes to pot at pick up and say I'm sorry I have to leave, there's been an issue at pick up.

That way it's not preplanned and you did your best to attend.

Do you get/can you take annual leave? We had a guy in our work that did that for most team events when work wouldn't support his non-attendance.

You are (legally) entitled to take unpaid parental leave- up to 4 weeks per year per child up to a maximum of 18 weeks by the time they reach 18. If the child is disabled you can take single days otherwise you have to take blocks of weeks.

Might be an option if you don't have annual leave to use?

I don't have annual leave in the same way, because I work term time only I get paid 39 weeks + A/L divided by 12 months.

I haven't got a back up plan for the chance I suddenly get taken ill, its a vulnerability but an unavoidable one

Oh that's a good idea!

Have they actually told you "no" yet?