Troublesome staff members leaving

[coffeerevelsrule]

I work for a medium-sized organisation (public sector) and manage a team of 12 in a department. We were/are a close-knit and well-established team. Two recent recruits have never settled in and, despite a lot of support being offered over the couple of years they have been with us, one has resigned and the other has failed probation. They both leave next week.

When I say never settled in, I mean they have made spurious complaints and created a split in the team that has never existed before. There have been personal comments and complaints made about me that have been hurtful beyond belief. They barely speak to most of us, but, as I say, have created a split so there are people in the team who will be sorry to see them go.

I have no experience of people leaving in these circumstances in 20 odd years of a career and in our place people do cards/collections/send emails praising those leaving. I can't bring myself to do any of that. Is that awful? As line manager it would be me to take a lead on it but I really don't want to.

If they've caused toxicity in your team I'd just let them leave without any fuss.
They dont deserve accolades.

I would stay classy and do it, but stress the voluntary aspect and not do too many reminders etc. It'll end up with a small voucher.

For the email, leave out the praise bit and just wish them well in their next role.

I'd organise a card. Because a split will be made worse by 'and they didn't even organise a card'. So do, those that want to sign, can.

They clearly sound like shit employees.

I wouldnt do anything - fuck em, let them leave without anything, especially after the way they have behaved.

Do the minimum expected because as a leader you lead by example. You can toast the departure of their backsides later out of sight of any of your staff. Sort out the card, a gift if the other members of the team feel it is warranted and want to do it, and just remember that this is a means to an end. I have been a manager for the best part of 15 years, it is almost a rite of passage of being in charge of people I am afraid. But do step up - it's only temporary.

This, hopefully there's some great PA gifts you could get!

I have had a few people leave our team and wider team and not contributed to their gift as they were vindictive towards me and I had done nothing wrong to provoke them.

As others have said you can say there is a card going round and if you want to donate and how they can donate. I’m surprised their brainwashed colleagues have not organised a collection. Where I work it is not always a manager that organises the collection and a team mate may do it.

Exactly.

You have to take responsibility for your own behaviour and the impact that has on team dynamics. If you behave in a petty vindictive way then you're driving the "split" too.

Why were they problem colleagues? Did their work ethic differ from the rest of the office?

I had a problem staff member finally hand his notice in and he left the same day as another staff member. At her leaving do which he cadged onto, he presented me with a poem about how evil I was. Framed!

I took his poem out and used his frame to display his letter of resignation on my office wall. It stayed there til I left several years later.

Hmmm. Displaying a letter of resignation, as a trophy on your office wall, hardly screams 'great boss'.

I wrote a bland message in the card and accidentally forgot to donate to the leaving gift.

Just do the collection, card etc and wish then well. Do not give those who are not 'on board' any ammunition.

I agree with others. Do the absolute minimum. Get cards. Collect money. Buy vouchers with proceeds. Do a very short good luck speech and don’t attend any leaving do that’s arranged. Go home and breathe a sigh of relief!

Did you have meetings in your office with other staff members? Seems wildly inappropriate!

This is probably the most professional advice. But dealing with a toxic colleague can sometimes bring out the worst in ourselves.

We had a new colleague start and within days she had alienated many staff. (Separate depts but shared a room). Her line report quit and she refused point blank to organise the leaving card & collection. I got roped in - was happy to do as line report was great. So when this colleague resigned weeks later (before being pushed) I refused to be involved. In fact she walked out 1 day before her leaving date and nothing had been arranged so no issue there. But can anyone help me - a PhD - I am sure she bought it off the internet. But where can I look for published/unpublished PhD's? I haven't yet been able to find her PhD anywhere?

A different perspective on this: two new people join an established team, are shocked by the current dynamic, express those thoughts and are subsequently forced out. The fact that some members of your team are ‘on their side’ does suggest that things were not quite as hunky-dory before their arrival as you seem to think they were. Also both newcomers feeling the same, not just one difficult person, is concerning.

You absolutely should be professional about their departure though it sounds like they dislike you and the way you manage the team, so perhaps one of their friendly colleagues could take the lead. I think you also need to have a really good think about their “spurious complaints”.

Don't look at a card and gift as being for the leavers, look at it as showing those who remain how things are done and that there are no hard feelings. If you do nothing, it looks petty and tarnishes you in the eyes of the remaining team.

Just do a card for both and leave it at that. I think not doing at least a card makes it bad on your part.

Organise a card and set up a collection but dont push it (ie let people proactively donate if they want)
At a minimum do a card and a bottle of shit wine
Short speech about best of luck with your future endevours and then skip the drinks

Thanks everyone - it's so hard to handle. The thing is, one of them I would have no issue with and really and think she has been manipulated by the other. However, the other one is so openly hostile I actually don't want to even sign a card. I think it would be met with a sneer and a photo of whatever I wrote would be on their group chat for discussion at once: if I wrote something cold that would be outrageous but if I tried to be more enthusiastic it would be bullshit. So sick of thinking about them.

@HeddaGarbled The fact that some members of your team are ‘on their side’ does suggest that things were not quite as hunky-dory before their arrival as you seem to think they were. Also both newcomers feeling the same, not just one difficult person, is concerning.

I can see why you think that, but there has been a full investigation and in fact they changed or backtracked on a lot of their complaints. The two others on the team who are with them, one has a long history of making complaints and then withdrawing them (there are mental health issues and she has been manipulated in all this too) and the other is someone who is completely dishonest and is using these people to make a name for herself. I had to attend mediation with her and she told bare-faced lies and then cried - it was worse than the mediation I had with my ex. Senior manager apologised to me.

The one who failed probation came about 6 months before the other and struggled from the start but had a massive amount of support from within the team and was making progress. Then the other one came and the first one's desire to improve nose-dived and she was, I believe, encouraged to see herself as a victim who had been treated unfairly when she really wasn't.

It's a hideous mess and I feel any card I get will be critiqued and there are others on the team whose workplace has effectively been wrecked by all this who won't want to sign anything at all, so it will look bad. I also know there has been a 'secret' leaving do with a few others from the organisation who they also work with and a collection has been done via that, so they won't leave empty-handed.

So sick of having to give them headspace!

"Best of luck for the future" is all you need. Send the card round, organise the collection but ask one of their friends day to suggest/buy the gift.

At the university where I work, they're kept in the online theses repository - you can search the university library records for them.

OP - some good advice here. I was in a very similar situation a couple of years ago. No one else in the team was motivated to sort it (and I entirely understood why). I think you have to just bite the bullet and do the card and collection. If not everyone signs it, then so be it.

@socialdilemmawhattodo
You should be able to find all published PhDs on a British Library site Ethos. It's not available at the moment so I can't post a link.

I wouldn't even do a card. I would just speak to them and wish them well on their last day.