Calling in sick and Parental Leave

[kikikingo]

Hi

My DC has just been diagnosed with ASD and I’m struggling to process and accept it. Still love DC with all my heart but I’m feeling so helpless and upset.

Following the diagnosis, my entire outlook has changed and I don’t even want to work anymore (currently work at a high street bank head office) and I just want to be a full time Mum (carer).

I have had long periods of sickness in the last 2 years due to a genuine medical procedure so I’m currently on an ‘Attendance Improvement Plan’.

I want to request parental leave to spend time with DC and look for schools suitable to their needs.
I don’t want to work right now. I’m just not in the right headspace and I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on my work anyway. I’m constantly breaking down crying and I feel mentally “weak”. I feel like I’m stressed and/or depressed.

Can I request emergency parental leave?

I want to request 4 weeks leave and say the request reason is around DC diagnosis and viewing schools.

I also want to use this opportunity to decide whether I should take a career break or resign altogether (if possible financially).

1. Can I request parental leave on the above grounds? How soon can this be approved?

I’m wondering whether I should call in sick due to my mental health.
Can I request parental leave whilst on sick leave?

Any advice or suggestions appreciated. Please be gentle with your replies.

Thank you.

How will you view schools that are about to close? Just thinking from the manger’s view point. If they are in school now, do they have an EHCP?

I understand the shock - I’m just trying to be practical.
He’s still your little boy. Nothing has really changed. Try to bring yourself back down focusing on your little boy and how they’ve not changed. Make a plan and take one step at a time. If you’re wanting a special school, chances are it’s going to be a very long road.
Good luck.

It's good to have a diagnosis, as it provides some framework for help going forward.
Nothing is any different about your child, you just have a better chance of helping them effectively now.
This isn't a reason to tailspin, make crazy changes or that, just take a bit of time to process, and start looking at long term ways to help your child thrive.

Deep breath. As others have said you're in a tailspin at the moment and this isn't a good basis to make decisions about the future. The child in front of you is still the same DC you know and love.

Yes you can apply for short notice parental leave. Remember the employer doesn't have to agree to the weeks you've asked for if it doesn't suit the business, and we're obviously now going into peak holiday season. They must offer you an alternative time though.

I would try and avoid going off sick if at all possible as you're already on an attendance management plan so you risk losing your job and you don't know if you'll need to use them as a reference in the future. I know you don't care about that at the moment but you might regret it in a couple of years time when things are more stable.
If the parental leave isn't long enough could you apply for a 1 year career break to give yourself some breathing space?