How do you fit work around 11+ age children during school holidays?

[LifeIsGr8]

Genuine question. If you have year 6 & older children how do you work your job around the 6 week holiday? Clubs aren't as widely available for that age group. More specifically the days you go in the office.

Didn't you read the post I was responding to? And? 15 year olds having sex isn't new or a sign of them growing up sooner due to being home alone.

So you want your kids to have the same shit childhood you had🤔?

12 year old DS here - mix of sports camps (hockey, swimming, tennis), grandparents, annual leave, odd day or so left at home to fend for self (probably just plays Fortnite all day), play dates with friends. I adjust so I WFH more often than during term time.

Usual patchwork.

Nope which is why they are NOT left home alone.

Cost of courses is huge, I said no to some of these but:

• choir residential options ranged from £500-£800 for a week away
• Specialist sports course, 6 days, non residential £380
• local council sports scheme (10-3, five days) £360
• swimming improve your stroke session, £45 for 2 hours

Even without courses, there’s plenty to do at home for a day or two - I expect them to cook supper if I’m working and they have nothing else to do, and also do some laundry, nip out for the dry cleaning or whatever.

Just booked music theatre summer school Mon-Fri 9am to 5pm for £300 ish.

Obviously courses are very area dependent. I don't need to that week, but as another school friend is booked on I reckon I'd be able to do a deal with the other mum to take turns to drop/collect.

We mostly wfh which admittedly makes things a lot easier, kids mostly sort themselves out but being generally around helps enormously. As it’s a tricky age can you ask your employer to let you wfh over the hols?

however they will also go to grandparents for a few days at least twice and then one week I am paying for them to go away with scouts. Dh/I also take two weeks’ leave but it only overlaps slightly- we went on our main holiday at May half term

Kids that age are OK to be home alone.

Depends on the child!

I'm laughing at the poster who won't leave a child alone at home all day until 15 🤣 I had a job at 12 and I'm only in my early 30s! Luckily for me, me and my mum work shifts around each other so it's not really an issue but I'd have no issues leaving my 12 year old at home 9-5 with a microwave meal and some snacks. He wouldn't get out of bed until 12 then would doss on his games or go to the park with his mates.

With my eldest the summer between primary and secondary school he just did the same childcare as the younger 2 (2 weeks of orimaru school holiday club) me taking time off,DH taking time off, family holiday, going to MILs in devon for a week and i would swop a few says with my sister. She aould come up for a few days on her annual leave and look after mine and then leave my neice and nephew here whilst i took time off and then in would drive them back down to hers.

covid then hit so it wasnt so much of an issue and DH wfh most days now anyway so there is always an adult around. He goes into the office 1 day a week so they amuse themselves.
i try and take a few days off here and there to take them our and do stuff. DD has just finished her GCSEs and she and her friends have loads of stuff planned in - playing tennis, walks in the woods, bowling, etc. DS1 who is 17 doesnt really hang out with friends - he has ASD and finds being social at school enough for him. DS2 who is 13 would stay on the computer all day chatting with his friends over FaceTime so i make sure i take some days off to take him fossil hunting.

i think being alone and a bit of boredom is good for teenagers - encourages them to find things to do. DD will often bake or sew something.
we also need to be equipping them for skills for life - and that includes being able to be along for a day, cook for themselves etc

also to a PP - i dont think beinf sent to clubs all summer will prevent a 15 year old from having sex if they really want to! They will find a way. I dont think any teen says ‘i’m bored, i know im going to go and have sex today’

@Stressfordays well, mine would wake at 6am as normal...children vary...

At 11/12, all day, every day, for 6 weeks?

I disagree on that, TBH.

Y8 child will have to fend for himself a bit I'm afraid. I'm sure there will be a lot of Tik Tok and screen time but dh and I will be flexible with lifts if he wants to be taken over to a friends for the day or whatever. He does seem to lack the motivation to actually make plans for himself so I'll be interested to see how he copes this holiday. I only work part time so hopefully will have the opportunity to do a few bits but seriously at this age it's really hard. Soft play, farm parks, picnics etc don't really cut it anymore. And as I have younger kids too it's very difficult to manage them all during the holidays. We have a week away booked and I'm also considering a cheaper weekend at the seaside just for a change of scenery.
Frankly I'm not looking forward to it, the 6 weeks holiday always makes me feel anxious and inadequate.

From year 7 mine were mostly at home, I might wfh one day a week and try to finish earlier but otherwise they are left to their own devices (quite literally a lot of the time)
It's not how I want them to spend the summer but I'm not able to wfh every day or take all the holidays off, and they only have 1 elderly grandparent, and no other relatives nearby. DD generally arranges to go out with friends a few days a week and now she is older, is volunteering in a charity shop 1 day a week. DS is hopeless at arranging things with friends, but last summer spent most mornings coaching younger kids at a sports camp (he was paid for it)

And the pp isn't saying that. But presumably she had a wealth of information available about her daughter and circumstances that enabled her to make an informed decision about what was appropriate, rather than you, a stranger on the internet, judging what is and isn't right for other people's kids.

Didn't you yourself sya by 15 it would be OK? Do they automatically become OK to be left alone at 15, according to your logic?

I know not everyone had a very wide sphere of experience but honestly, you have to trust that in general, parents can work out what's most appropriate to their own children and circumstances. Otherwise you'd just spend your entire life judging others people's parenting (and children), and that would be miserable.

I did a week scout camp, a week annual leave for a family holiday, then odd midweek days off. So four weeks home alone with no more than three consecutive days.

It has always been difficult even back in the 1990s when I had children that age and later and we both worked full time. for a start we had a full time daily nanny for the youngest when teh older 2 were little so she did it. Then when the 4/5th children came we had a new daily nanny who also looked after the 10/12/.14 year olds in school holidays but full time childcare for under 5s then and now is very very expensive whether it is 3 nursery places full time for 3 under 4s we had at one stage or paying one person to look after them all. We also used to send them to 2 weeks of summer day camps eg one had 2 weeks at her school in the holidays. Then we used to take 2 weeks off work for a family holiday so that was 4 weeks already covered and then at various times we advertised for someone local for babysitting etc who did it full time in holidays and worked 3 - 6pm in term time doing school collection and cooking dinner for them here. I am reading my 1984 diary at present when we hired the first full time daily nanny when I was 11 months pregnant (as I returned to work full time at 2 weeks having used 2 weeks of annual leave only and I expressed milk at work and seemed to feed most of the night too)..... It was 2024 when I stopped paying for the youngest 2 children when they qualified as solicitors (they still live at home). It has been 40 years of quite a bit of expense, but the children are the best thing I ever did so there we are, not complaining.

Otherwise you'd just spend your entire life judging others people's parenting (and children), and that would be miserable.

There is a big difference between a 15 year old and an eleven year old.
Judging? Didn’t put words in my mouth.

OP I do think this is an issue - luckily for me when my DC got to pre-teen stage I was working as a teacher in school, so although I often had work to do in the holidays, I was at home and able to be there for them if needed (and also do activities with them when I was clear).

I can't lie, this was a massive perk of teaching - not as such the long holidays (as I say, I usually had prep and assessment to do for a fair amount of the time) but the fact that I was off when the kids were off.

I later stopped working in a school but by then my youngest was almost 15 so it wasn't an issue.

My suggestions are:
*Call in favours with friends (and plan a reciprocation) maybe even once a week
*Use local sports clubs which often offer something to do for a couple of hours rather than a full day of childcare
*Wfh one or two days a week if possible
*Spread out your AL if you can by taking a day or two each week - an 11-12yo might well be fine on their own for a day but it helps to break it up.

So we live rurally, no public transport etc. my ex and I live roughly 3 miles apart (not walkable but he is in a small village)

We leave home alone at each others houses depending on who is working later etc
So I try to get back for 2 and finish off or my dh will pop back for lunch and make sure all is well

If they want to see their friends they will go their dads house (to travel to parks etc) or have friends over at mine

With all the best cams / smart phones and modern tech the kids are fine alone as long as they have someone local who can be with them or they have instant contact in an emergency- however, my eldest is captain sensible and has loved being in charge since she was 11/12. My youngest would not have been confident until 13

Making their own plans, going out with friends, lying in. We're away for two weeks so my dd only has to entertain herself for 4 of them. I've booked some activities for her but otherwise she's good at entertaining herself.

I mainly work part time over the holidays so am popping in and out throughout the day.
Certainly by age 11 they're safe enough to be on their own.

I don't think anyone is saying there isn't a big difference between the average 11-yr old and average 15-yr old. What a lot of people are saying is that some 11-yr olds can be left at home/to their own devices for a few hours, and that the vast majority of 15-yr olds probably should be, for their own personal growth and independence.

And with all due respect, I do think there's an element of judgment in these words:

Some people seem to think by age 11, they can save themselves the cost of clubs and tell themselves they are giving their children much needed independence . I think we all know the real reason whatever despite the claims saying otherwise.

The cost may well be a factor, and for some people you might be right - it might be the only reason. But some people just parent differently to you, and have different circumstances and parameters - it is what it is. FWIW, I'm a reasonably cautious parent, but I can't imagine not leaving my kid home alone for a few hours until they're 15. Certainly the norm where we are/with our friends is around 13 onwards, I'd say.

My eldest was probably home alone 2 or 3 days out of 5 from 9ish-3.30 during school holidays at age 11. It wasn't about trying to save money, she hated holiday clubs and would prefer to be at home. She didn't love it and I felt shit about it but with no family support or option to wfh it was a means to an end.