Moving on from a toxic work environment

[Mabelshouse]

10 years ago I thought I’d found my dream job and for a while I loved it. The last few years have been awful however. Horrible managers, fear of getting it wrong, micromanaging, cliques, etc. it has worn me down and I’m a resilient person usually.

I can’t afford to fully leave but finally I have secured part time hours there so will be in significantly less and can hopefully fly under the radar a bit. Trouble is I feel bitter about it. This is likely to be my final job before retiring and I’m definitely going out with a whimper.

i feel undervalued and I’m constantly pushed into minor roles despite being experienced and a safe pair of hands at work. I’ve lost the will to battle it let alone understand it. I’ll never succeed there so reducing hours will help me maintain some sanity but I’ll always regret that I wasn’t allowed to shine.

It’s too late to change jobs (tricky to come by in my field) so another few part time years and then I hope to retire. But tell me …how can I make peace with this? I feel so upset that my last employment has been such a downer. I see colleagues given opportunities and praise and I know I’ll be left picking up the crap roles noone wants.

I'm in a similar position and I firmly believe that a lot of it is ageism. My advice would be to know your worth and ignore the bullshit. Also, don't be forced into working more than your hours - many people who go part time don't lose any workload - that's been my downfall.

Yes I definitely think ageism is an issue. My organisation have form for it. Thank you.

I have sent you a PM.

I'm 60 and I left a toxic work environment last year. I took a pay cut and a step down, but it is so worth it. I no longer dread going in to the office or worry all night, instead I do my job, get on fine with my colleagues and go home. I really did not want to end my career on a sour note so I got out.

Yep feeling similar but I’m working 3d a week now and loving the balance I have prioritising my life outside work. Focus on life out of work or develop a new skill that could produce a more meaningful side hustle or volunteer or get a new hobby,

I was working in a job that I was good at and where I had many years experience, but I was constantly belittled and criticised. I left, with my confidence shot to pieces, crumbling with stress, and no self-belief at all.

I now work in a job where my manager and the majority of star senior to me are younger than me. I am treated with courtesy and my suggestions listened to. Where they are rejected, this is done with respect and with appreciation that I have considered that matter. I have just had a glowing appraisal; actions that were previously considered as me over-stepping are here considered as me using my initiative.

Needless to say, I am no longer stressed. I was very sad that I left something I felt integral to and felt proud of, but, ultimately - what does that matter? Overall, I am so much happier where I am.

Thanks for your replies. I am just going to have to make peace with it. Working there less will ease the pain a bit but I’ll always feel bitter about the way I’ve been treated.

I was in a toxic work environment myself earlier this year - I was purposefully overlooked and ignored by a (male, younger) colleague, and I'm no wallflower, I called it out with him and told my manager about the conversation. My (male) manager told me he agreed with my colleague (two peas in a pod, those men), and in a department-wide team meeting he did the same thing - my work on a project was completely ignored, and the male colleague was praised on his own for something I had a significant part in making happen.

Every time I pushed back against mistreatment, I was belittled further, until it reached the point that I was suddenly made redundant after less than 6 months in role. It was an awful surprise, but they did me a favour in the end. I secured a new position about 6 weeks later, and I'm in a much better environment, with genuine collaborators and professional colleagues. I'm also paid better, with more flexible leave policies, so it's a real win for me.

And to my surprise, a bit of karma came around to my toxic manager, who was fired not long after I was let go! His little crony doesn't have anyone to prop him up now...

Why are people so horrible??? There’s no need.