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Original poster

Is this normal for a work place?

41 replies

edddd · 03/07/2024 21:59

I'm on a grad scheme in a corporate environment. We are encouraged to reach out to senior people who we are interested in working with and ask them for a lunch or coffee, or even just a quick chat about their work. I think I have a fairly good reputation, I work hard. I sent a senior manager a very polite email explaining how I would love to work in their team, and could we have a coffee to discuss? Radio silence.

Another example is that I sent a message to a former manager saying thank you for all their time and how I enjoyed the work et cetera, please could he sign off on my training. I got no response after working long long hours for this manager for 5 months.

I feel very unsupported and thought managers would want to develop their junior staff.

OP posts:
IrritatedB3dM4ker · 03/07/2024 22:00

Could they just have missed the emails?

Original poster
edddd · 03/07/2024 22:01

Do people miss emails these days?

OP posts:
Ladyofthepeonies · 03/07/2024 22:04

100% normal where I work just keep trying.

DreadPirateRobots · 03/07/2024 22:06

They're busy. Very busy. And you're asking for favours, and are non-urgent.

You will have to a) get a bit of a thicker skin, this isn't about you, and b) develop some skills in the fine art of corporate influencing, including being polite but persistent and using any and all leverage you have.

Original poster
edddd · 03/07/2024 22:07

Okay, noted. Thank you. It's just hard when it's your first corporate job, but I appreciate the advice.

OP posts:
katerose2022 · 03/07/2024 22:10

edddd · 03/07/2024 22:01

Do people miss emails these days?

Yes. I'm not even a manager and I've got hundreds of emails in my inbox every day.

You can just send a polite follow up email asking if they've had the chance to read your previous email. Very normal nowadays. Good luck!

DreadPirateRobots · 03/07/2024 22:10

Ask again. In person. Name-drop anyone with power you happen to know, or any mutual connections. If anybody you want something from is high up enough to have a PA, sweet-talk said PA. Ask again some more.

Original poster
edddd · 03/07/2024 22:14

Is it not awkward? Say they had seen the email, but don't think you're good enough or don't want you to work with them, how do you deal with that? or is that just needing a thicker skin!

OP posts:
DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 03/07/2024 22:15

Definitely can be normal.

But for signing off training they should be better - you need to be persistent. Are you on a training contract working towards a qualification, or is it more of an internal probation period sign off sort of thing?

Psspsspssssss · 03/07/2024 22:16

OP having recruited (and trained!) many graduates. Despite all the 'encouragement to reach out' etc a lot of senior people are very busy. Also sometimes people just miss emails/messages!

Something they should do like signing off on training etc definitely follow up - it's part of their job. But for things like coffees/reaching out - either have a specific ask, or if a senior person, reach out to a more junior member of their team instead.

Bettedaviseyes111 · 03/07/2024 22:19

Totally normal for people to miss emails or prioritise.

Find the whole ask your manager to go for a coffee a little uncomfortable tbh… I do believe managers should be personable, however I would always want to discuss chats regarding progression and support in a more appropriate setting like during a 1:1 or appraisal unless you are being mentored by them.

DreadPirateRobots · 03/07/2024 22:24

edddd · 03/07/2024 22:14

Is it not awkward? Say they had seen the email, but don't think you're good enough or don't want you to work with them, how do you deal with that? or is that just needing a thicker skin!

Yes to the thicker skin. I guarantee you take up about 0.01% of their brain space, if that. It is unlikely they have, thus far, had any thoughts about you whatsoever. If they don't want to have coffee with you, they will either continue to ignore you or politely say no. But you're a grown up, and so are they, and if you want something you have to commit.

Psspsspssssss · 03/07/2024 22:25

edddd · 03/07/2024 22:14

Is it not awkward? Say they had seen the email, but don't think you're good enough or don't want you to work with them, how do you deal with that? or is that just needing a thicker skin!

Kindly OP, they probably don't even know who you are. So they're unlikely to be thinking all of that.
If you know that they're hiring, you can contact the hiring manager to discuss a job, alternatively if it's through the grapevine, other people will speak for you/tell you and you can always say 'so-and-so told me about this job'...

An approach I find useful is to help solve a problem - offer comments on something that you've seen, or at least say what team you're from/piece that you worked on, so they know you have something to offer.

My previous jobs all came via my glowing recommendations with low/mid-level people telling their bosses about me. And these people are better placed to give you the inside gossip anyway. So start with them, and then work your way up.

MiniPumpkin · 03/07/2024 22:44

edddd · 03/07/2024 22:01

Do people miss emails these days?

Yes. Every day. I am a manager and I think I read one email today, had other issues to be dealing with. I tell my team if they need an urgent response to pick up the phone to me.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 03/07/2024 22:47

Yep emails heap up
I find it easier to deal with messages on teams.

123ZYX · 03/07/2024 22:51

Are you in the same office as the manager you want coffee with? If so, try to walk past their desk and ask if they aren't in the middle of something. Once they've agreed, it's easier to email to confirm a date if necessary

HangingOnJustAbout · 03/07/2024 22:53

Do they even read their own emails? We have PAs who prioritise work, they do read the more personal items but wouldn't necessarily mention unless they know the manager prioritises such things or makes a regular slot to deal.

You might be aiming too high, tell your current manager what you want and they can set you up with suitable contacts.

PangolinPan · 03/07/2024 22:56

With the second one, about signing off the work, unless you started the email with that, the manager may not have even realised what needed doing.

As a PA I'd suggest putting a 15 minute call in with that manager to get the work signed off and say what you want to say. In my experience, my principals are most interested in their diaries over their inbox.

Same for the first situation, take the pressure off that manager to find a time for you and suggest a time and place for an informal chat about progression etc. Once they do a diary review you'll get their attention.

bunnypenny · 03/07/2024 23:03

It’s normal. I’d get that email, read it and think yeah must respond but then be sidetracked by work and forget.

options are to email again to remind or ask their PA to do it. Either of those (esp the PA!) would make me prioritise it (and sorry, because I know it’s a priority for you).

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 03/07/2024 23:05

To be honest, you're aiming way too high with nothing to offer. Asking for a coffee because you want to talk about how you can join their team is cringe!

Why do you think you can jump the queue? Don't you think there will be plenty of other people within the business who want to join the team? You need to be building a case for what you have to offer to the role you want to move into.

You need to build a good relationship with relevant PAs and the hiring manager for roles in the team.

Honestly, I despair with people on graduate schemes. There are people who've got WAY more experience than you. You really need to think about how you can gain the experience/ knowledge you need to move to the next step in your career. Expecting a coffee chat to fast track your career is unrealistic.

Jeannie88 · 03/07/2024 23:43

Best thing always is to be there in person, chat. That's how we did in the old days and it still works now. Personal interaction goes a long way. A message is anonymous, one of many. Xx

RomainesToBeSeen · 04/07/2024 00:12

I'd think about the wording of your request. It might be better to ask whether you could schedule some time to learn more about their area of the business as part of your development and understanding of the organisation rather than 'can we have a coffee because I'd like to work in your team'.

When you do get that time make sure that you are prepared with questions to ask, things you'd like to know more about etc.

JC03745 · 04/07/2024 00:34

I sent a senior manager a very polite email explaining how I would love to work in their team, and could we have a coffee to discuss? Radio silence.

When I was a senior manager, I'd get 100+ emails a day! Could you happen to be in the tea room at the same time, or ask to learn more about the company etc rather than offering to take them for coffee? I had a staff member constantly ask to take me for coffee or lunch. He wanted a work visa, which our company didn't offer for his role. I was polite and told him this, but TBH- I really didn't want to, nor have the time to spent 20-30mins in a cafe with them.

TallDarkHandsomeCollegue · 04/07/2024 07:43

edddd · 03/07/2024 22:01

Do people miss emails these days?

I get so much email, that's it's a largely ineffective way of contacting me. I much prefer a phone call, or face to face mtg, followed up by an email to confirm outcomes and actions or if a paper trail is needed.

Can you put a short meeting in the calendar of the person you want to speak to? Or go via their PA?

Mintearo7 · 04/07/2024 07:52

Thicker skin needed. Would be persistent but also think of ways that won’t take up too much time. Perhaps you could ask a few questions via Google Forms to get the info? I agree it’s rude not to reply, if it still happens after a while I would actually feedback to HR or your line manager. It’s a cultural thing they needs fixing.

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