Five voices personality types, is this clash resolvable?

[Boxina]

I work in a small team in a unique role and have increasingly been finding it frustrating to work in, things feel much more difficult to get anything done now, and lots of hoops to jump through. In particular my line manager is often abrasive and makes me feel small, and often does this in meetings so I am humiliated.

We recently all did the five voices personality test as part of team building, and it turns out that most of the team are now Guardians, including my line manager, whereas I am a Connector.

This means my way of communicating and working is totally different to theirs, and explains a lot of my frustration and upset.

I'm wondering if this is going to be resolvable or if I should just leave?

Increasingly they are introducing numerous forms and templates we have to fill in for absolutely everything, whereas I'm used to working in a less structured way and being more creative.

Does anyone know about how these types can work together well and give me some tips on how to approach things? Or is it a lost cause?

My boss inherited me but has taken on a lot of the people who have turned out to be the same type as her. So I'm obviously not the type she would choose!

I think this is a key point and something I need to work out with her. I don't want her to feel undermined, I want to support her.

They got this test in as a crutch. She's hiring people she feels comfortable with because she's out of her depth.

If you want to stay, you'll have to take a 'keep your enemies close' approach to her.

To be fair to her, one of the people she and I took on (I'm usually on interview panels) she wanted because she's very different to her, so she is very aware of the need to have different styles but in reality she struggles to let us work in our way. I need to think about why that might be.

OP, this speaks to me! I believe I’m similar to your boss so maybe I can help:

if that's the first thing you ask instead of about the idea itself, all I hear is "I don't think you know what you're doing, you haven't thought this through". It comes across as nitpicky to me and dismissive of my actual idea

From the others person’s POV: there is no point talking about the idea itself if it is not do-able so let’s make sure it is first.

I agree, the difficulty is the different style of communication. Maybe an idea is to make the effort to cover the practical aspects proactively before getting to the idea itself, ie pre-empting your boss’ questions.

The thing with that is that my brain doesn't work that way, so your answer is just to work in her way, with her having no effort to compromise?

I think my way works better just as much as you think yours does. I'm interested in how we can compromise (because I'm a collaborative personality) and find a way forward that works for us both, not just my boss.

Only from the bitter experience of being the person who has to say after the great idea has been implemented 'Uh, you do know that if we do it that way, it's illegal/technologically impossible/we now can't do something that is required by Law/gives other people unmanageable workloads/makes the other vital aspect of their work damn near impossible/breaches employment laws/is 250% more expensive than this solution which was dismissed because it came from somebody who knows the process inside out and not the very expensive Ideas Person? I would have said something had anybody known about this in advance, but nobody asked me or even mentioned it before it was decided that all staff were to communicate solely through the medium of interpretative dance and the email system was permanently disconnected at 2am this morning'.

Yeah well, now you're just being ridiculous. It's not helpful.

What you're describing with your colleagues is a really common dynamic in workplaces: people in the early days are creative, freeform, innovating, willing to make mistakes. But eventually people in the organisation want to regularise things, turn the working into a reliable set of procedures and policies. Often to prevent fuckups from happening (again).

The thing is, procedures only prevent mistakes if everyone can follow them robotically, and that requires a certain kind of person.

That's interesting, thank you. You are right that it requires a certain type of person and unfortunately from conversations today I'm not the only team member struggling with this. It seems the majority of us are finding it very stifling and difficult regardless of personality types.

I was wondering about discussing my ideas with more creative colleagues before taking them to my boss with the solid info she wants. I'm thinking maybe she just doesn't want to do the creative element, so I could cover that elsewhere, and present her with something more polished.

That doesn't address everything but would help on project stuff perhaps. But it does mean I'll have developed things without her input.

Fair enough. I’m trying to think why I would want the confirmation that it is do-able first:
otherwise discussing about the idea would be a waste of time (for me, as the person listening to the idea.
I assume that you disagree with this statement, i.e. from your POV, it is a waste of time to fully check the do-ability until you know that there is interest for it - is that it? If that is the case, maybe the solution could be to define the process with your boss, for ex:

1. you pitch an idea in a 15min call, high level, to gauge interest
2. you check cost, timings, (list to be defined)
3. once these checks are done, you do the full pitch

but could also be

1. you make high level checks: workload/cost estimate, it is accepted that these will be confirmed but later
2. you pitch the idea fully
3. you then do the full checks

basically, try to find a workflow where both sides compromise, not just one or the other

I hope this helps :)

(this is something I’m remembering from my personality training: if you understand why other personality do things a certain way it is easier to accept / not get annoyed / adapt your own way of working to them)

You need to learn to manage your manager, and this does mean adapting and understanding her ways of working.

The example you quote is perfect. She is clearly a detail person so you need to stop and think through your idea. Present it as a business case e.g. I want to run an evening event to promote a new service to our existing clients. It would be c100 people, the board room is the right size because I checked with facilities, it’s available on these dates. There are two caterers that can do it for c20 a head making it ££.

I know this is not your natural style but you know exactly how she will respond so why fight it. You will not be viewed as this wonderful creative person but someone who can’t plan ahead and think through risks etc. Sorry but that is the truth. The ability to adapt your working style to your manager and colleagues is a part of team working.

I'm not allowed to check those details with facilities though. And the person who is, isn't allowed to without our boss' permission and sign off. So it's really difficult to get anything done. I do have to get her general agreement first but then I get the Spanish inquisition of things I can't answer because the process says no!

The issue isn't just a project thing though, it's about culture and the whole way of working across the organisation.

If the answer is just "suck it up because the way you work best doesn't matter, you don't get to enjoy your work" then I'll just leave. I want to use my skillset, not be stifled. I have never managed people by stifling them, I'm all about enabling people to do their best work in the way that works for them. I'm surprised how many on here don't think that's important.

@Boxina to answer your question, based on you posts this is not resolvable. Put your energy into finding an organisation and job that better suit your working style.

Everyone is different, not right not wrong just different. It sounds like you are out of step with your colleagues, manager and organisation. Realising you are a square peg in a round hole means you know you need to move.

I'm not at all out of step with my colleagues, in fact some of us had a call a few days ago about this issue and how it's affecting us all, plus my role is designed such that I'm supposed to bring challenge, especially around how we work, so my boss should expect and welcome that given it's what I was hired for. I'm supposed to not quite fit. They also wanted me to bring new ways of working, but are putting lots of barriers in the way.

It's frustrating. It's really not me who is the problem here, but I can't put everything on Mumsnet or it will be too identifiable. But this is why I want to try and make it work, as anyone who comes in after me into this role will be equally unable to actually do it given the constraints they are putting on it! And there's so much potential if they would only let me do what I was hired to.

@boxina In your op you said “We recently all did the five voices personality test as part of team building, and it turns out that most of the team are now Guardians, including my line manager, whereas I am a Connector.

This means my way of communicating and working is totally different to theirs, and explains a lot of my frustration and upset.”

You also stated “The issue isn't just a project thing though, it's about culture and the whole way of working across the organisation.”

Posters can only respond based on the information you provide. I know it can be difficult to not include revealing information but your latest post paints a very different picture.

You say you are not the problem, I never said you were, but communication is a two way process and it is very rarely 100% one persons fault.

You can’t resolve it. I’ve just left a job after a new manager came in who had a very different attitude. I can’t work with someone who is dismissive of me (and others - no one likes her in the team) plus adds unnecessary extra steps. The manager has no interest in compromising, they’re the boss. If you don’t like the way it is, you have to leave. If enough people leave HR/senior management will figure it out. There’s no point fighting. Find somewhere you will fit better or accept you have to adapt, which may mean you aren’t as happy as you’d like. If she’s that bad, she doesn’t deserve your skills. I’ve found a much better and higher paid job, so she did me a favour. Hopefully you will too.