My micro-managing boss checks everything I do and gives feedback

[purkey97]

Hi, looking for opinions and advice. I was promoted to a second in command position in April, just as my lovely manager went on maternity leave and another woman returned from maternity leave.

The woman who has returned is a bit of a bully, she loves humiliating people in front of the whole team and telling everyone how they could have done something better. She thinks she’s God’s gift and only she knows how to do this job.

Basically, she’s got into the habit of re-checking every single piece of work I’ve checked and signed off, and then sending me a list of everything that she thinks was wrong with it and how she’d have done it differently. I feel totally demoralised and like there’s no point in me even trying, and I’m being less productive living under the fear she’s going to pop up with criticisms of something I’ve just done.

She doesn’t take well to being questioned - the last time I pointed out something she’d told me wasn’t actually true, she got very defensive and then spent the rest of the day berating me in front of my whole team for various things. She also said she “doesn’t like being told she’s wrong”.

I love my job and I’m good at it, and I don’t want to let her drive me out as I feel like I’m protecting the rest of my team from her, but it’s making me quite miserable.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how they would deal with this? Thank you so much

My sympathy. We had a re-organisation and my new line manager was like this. TBH, it made me ill. You might need to talk to her line manager . The only thing that stopped her in tracks was when she said I needed to make an appointment with HR because I had had too many sick days. I pointed out that until she became my line manager, a period of eight years, I hadn’t had any at all. This woman obviously feels threatened by you. Presumably you will get your lovely manager back when she returns from maternity leave?

I think you need to talk to her line manager. I'd also just make sure you are in a union as it sounds like she will get nasty. Does she line manage anyone else?

You need to gather evidence then present her line manager with facts coupled with how her actions are negatively affecting you and your work. That or make her your bff. Unless you can wait until your manager returns from maternity leave.

Don't stay there to protect the team. It's a selfless notion but they are already insulated by being one level below.

Look out for yourself, if you have been there a while maybe this is the time for a job move, even though not through choice.

Gather evidence against her - then grievance.

Gather examples as evidence and then go down the formal route. This is out and out bullying and good workplaces don’t tolerate it.

I would probably email her and her line manager saying that you wish to resign from your promotion on the basis of working closely with her, and explain that it is negatively affecting your work and mental health, and explain why, giving daily examples from the last week or so. Push back and keep safe xxx

Thank you so much to all the replies so far, really appreciate the feedback and it’s nice to know I’m not crazy for feeling this way. I’m taking next week off so I’ll hopefully get some perspective and think about whether I want to put up with this any longer

I'd ask her directly why she feels the need to micromanage my work given I have always been given feedback on what a good job I do and have recently been promoted, and that I don't appreciate her feedback as it is just style not substance.

If she berated me in front of others I'd throw it right back at her.

I'd say loudly and clearly "I'm sure none of us are perfect, Beryl. How about I go round and do a survey among everyone here about your shortcomings? Then we can spend the afternoon going through them publicly. Or you know, we could all be a bit more professional, stop bitching and get on with our actual work, which we all well know how to do without your input."

If she doesn't like being told she wrong I would make it my business to definitely tell her every time she is wrong, as clearly it's something she needs to work on.