The meek shall inherit a slap down

[HillsideFarm]

Have you noticed that the person who is aggressive or bolshy in the office usually gets a wide berth from management but if you are a 'head down, no trouble' who gets a bit out of line the correction doled out by on high is MASSIVE.

I worked my rear off for the last three weeks for an expo we were doing. I also covered all my work in advance so there should have not been any need for anyone to touch any of my workload while I was out for the week. Two issues that could not be anticipated kicked off. I was told by my TL I needed to step up and sort out the issues even though he has done several expos and knows what they are like.

I was on the floor of a expo all day and there were FIVE members of the team not on site that could pick up the two issues. So I explained that I couldn't pick them up and there must be availability elsewhere.

Today I was invited into a meeting with HR and the manager to 'explain myself'.

I pointed out that asking a person in an expo hall with promo events scheduled through the day could not and should not be expected to pick up non-urgent BAU work that the remaining team could quite easily do within our SLA. He and the other team members regularly pass back BAU stuff when they are on the floor - why was I being treated differently?

My manager was Shocked! Shocked! He felt I was being awkward and I pointed out it was not nearly as awkward as trying to work on a screaming busy expo floor. He commented that 'he didn't know what had gotten into me' and I normally just did as I was asked. When I asked why he didn't ask one of the five to pick up the BAU he replied 'It is just not worth the drama'

I have a verbal warning - which is more than the 'always late but with a coffee, rude, fridge food thief, 1 1/2 hour lunch taker 'it was just a joke, you are so uptight' skiving workshy troublemaker who never gets pulled up about ANYTHING' has ever got. I am livid.

It’s the same as being bullied. It’s always the nice and quiet kids getting picked on. They’re easy targets. My bolshy kid never gets bullied, unlike the quiet one too scared to speak out.

It’s bad, weak management. I have similar in my soon to be ex job. Terrible staff kept on and rude middle management allowed to get away with treating good people so badly.

Just leave asap.

It's crap and true. As a manager who is also 'meek'. I'm very aware of it and try not to ask things only of those in my team who will do it without moaning.
It's a rubbish team and workplace culture where this goes on as it means those whose behaviour is inappropriate/poor conduct are never challenged on it.

Make sure you get a copy of the interview notes and challenge them in writing if the conversation is not recorded correctly.
This will make life easier for you if the bullying goes on, and should make HR pause for thought.

I'd use the next expo to tout for a new job to be honest.

You got a warning for what!

Appeal and point out that you got the warning because your manager can’t manage. Start looking for a new job.

That’s really crap of them. It reflects a lot more of them than it does you, but I know that doesn’t help much. Depending on how annoyed and how salvageable you think this is I’d consider leaving. Inept managers are terrible to work for.

In a company I’ve just left I had a colleague who enjoyed incredibly awkward silences. Part of it was his nature (if you asked him anything (“what did you get up to at the weekend?”) he would take long pauses to think about it) but he would also use it in a passive aggressive manner to make the other person uncomfortable if he was getting a bollicking. The result was everyone avoided him and he got away with murder. Work would be delivered 2 months after the deadline, he’d go completely off-scope in a project, refuse to do things and he’d use up all the budget leaving none for anyone else. He admitted to me he’d not read much of the regulations we worked with because he couldn’t be bothered and didn’t understand them! I had project managers and even his manager asking me to chase him for work because they found it so uncomfortable. Other, hardworking, deadline-hitting employees would get the worst treatment whilst this guy swanned around doing whatever he wanted.

It’s a sign of a weak manager.

I remember it at school. We were the “nice” conscientious girls who worked hard and never disrupted lessons. If we did anything even mildly wrong eg putting chairs on table slightly early we got it both barrels from the teachers. The really awful aggressive disruptive boys were left alone as it was too hard to tell them off

Police are like it too dh and I pulled over told off and shouted at for being in wrong lane in a hire car in London. The drug dealers we had repeatedly reported to the police but the policy was to leave them be were smirking away. It’s enraging.

Managers are shockingly bad now, and if you're one who does try you get shafted, frankly. There's no point trying to point things out to the inept managers either, they always side with the lazy mouthy ones. I'd look for another job though if you're in a position to. My tolerance usually runs out around year 4 in a job but I'm getting a bit old to do that still.

Aaaaand this is why workplaces can't retain talent. Vote with your feet!

Wow awful but so true op.

I’d start looking for a new role. You can do better than put up with being treated like that.

Have you noticed that the person who is aggressive or bolshy in the office usually gets a wide berth from management but if you are a 'head down, no trouble' who gets a bit out of line the correction doled out by on high is MASSIVE

Yes. That was why I left exjob (which had changed a lot and which I no longer enjoyed anyway). The final straw (after a lot of them) was in mid 2020, being threatened, after a few years of stellar reviews, with a PIP because someone else hadn't done what they were supposed to have done and I got the blame for it. Manager didn't bother to find out what was going on, just dumped on me.

It's not a big expo place in East London, is it? the attitudes of 'pisstakers getting away with murder, let's pick on the hard workers instead' sounds familiar.

Stuff like this really makes my blood boil. Second the idea of using the expo to jobhunt!

For not undertaking a 'reasonable request' from a line manager without good cause.

It is a verbal warning (and not on my record at all) because the HR lady refused to budge on my TL's demands for a written warning as she clearly thought it was complete BS and spent a large amount of time rolling her eyes.

Yes, to the poster that asked about large London expo, but we also are at other locations.

TL three times yesterday asked me to do additional things (about a half days work) I would normally pick up for him with no quibble. I was professional, short, factual and cold in my replies about my capacity. I also copied in our allocation hub who confirmed I had priority cases on hand.

Normally I would just work really hard around it - to help out. But not anymore.

I learn FAST.

Do you work in the NHS by any chance, Op?

This is why conscientious hard working individuals eventually give up, start "working to rule" and quietly quit. I did it in my last job. I got so sick of picking up my fellow employee's crap that I just stopped one day. Boss nearly had a heart attack once it became clear I wasn't going to make myself ill any more. Interestingly, he chose to pick it up himself rather than force her to actually do her bloody job. He worked weekends whilst she swanned out on the dot of 5pm. As did I.
Weak.

Obviously that’s unacceptable, but I think you do, in fairness, need to look at your own contribution to this dynamic. It comes up all the time on here in the context of friendship and family relationships with an OP complaining that ‘I’m always so helpful/kind to everyone, and I assert myself/say no, everyone hates me!’ But they don’t grasp that they have trained everyone around them to expect them to be the reliable helper friend/undemanding employee with endless capacity, so that when they step out of role, often in the context of a crisis, it’s a shock and they’re blamed.

In the workplace, make sure you have strong professional boundaries and don’t court the reputation for being the employee defined by her undemanding ness and ‘doing as she’s told’. It makes you undervalued and overlooked, and any less ‘obedient’ behaviour, as you’ve seen, heavily penalised.

@HillsideFarm good for you. HR clearly knew it was BS.