Should I Give Constructive or Dipolmatic Feedback as Manager?

[Toffolossus]

I am a new line manager with years of experience in my field.

I am working with someone on a project who is one grade below, not a manager. He works for another manager. He is a nice guy and initially made a great impression, but a few weeks on, he needs chasing, does not contribute to meetings, misses meetings but fails to catch up on them and ignores making any corrections on the work he is asked to do. He says this is because he is busy working on another project. The other project is experiencing the same, however. I have brought this up with him more diplomatically - but he has not changed and just said he is busy.

Last week, his manager asked for feedback on him. I was honest with her about his performance. His manager asked me to email my feedback to her. She told me that he has form for not following up on things and wants to use this in his appraisal and performance reviews.

I struggle to know whether I should be constructive in my email to his manager or write more diplomatic feedback. My constructive feedback would be more specific and if he did take it on board, I think it could help him. However, I think a more diplomatic approach would be better for an ongoing working relationship with him. But being diplomatic with him has not made him change!

Help! I don't want to be a pushover - I want to be nice - but I also know it is hard to be a nice manager and I need to show I can handle my new role too.

You’re not there to be nice

you need to be absolutely factual about all the incidents above with dates and what happened and email it

The problem with being diplomatic, is that he already has form for not following up. This needs to be raised in his performance review, so the comments need to be specific in order to be useful to the process,

Missing meetings, not catching up or making amends on documents are all examples of poor behaviour
he’s been told
sounds like if he can’t change then a PIP is needed asap

Just list strengths and areas for development. Be specific and give clear targets with reasonable timescales for completion plus a review meeting date in which targets can be reviewed.

Constructive- sounds like his manager has the same issues and is trying to address the performance issues. A good working relationship should not be used to excuse poor performance, it sounds like he is playing the two of you off and doing nada. Do add some of his strengths though.

Definitely be constructive/factual. Too often people try to sugarcoat their feedback and it makes it incredibly difficult to manage poor peformers especially if they need to be put on a PIP.

Thank you to everyone who has responded.

@rubyslippers - yes I realise as a manager I am not there to be nice. However, I want to be fair and reasonable.
@AuditAngel - I tried the diplomatic approach with him initially - it didn't work - you are right.
@PardonMee - will definitely do this
@JammyJellyfish - Yes his manager has the same issues and she wants to use my emailed comments for his PIP
@mynameiscalypso - I realise if I sugarcoat my feedback it will not help him or his manager. I have a feeling he will simply dismiss my feedback and his manager will be even more frustrated.

would be better for an ongoing working relationship with him

What about your ongoing working relationship with the manager who asked you for honest feedback to enable them to deal with an employee who is causing problems?

It would be unprofessional and unfair to provide dishonest "diplomatic" feedback.

There's no need to be anything except factual - presumably you've got specific examples of the issues you're talking about? So just list those. In x date he didn't attend x meeting etc etc. And also specify that you have given him feedback, when and what his response was

As a manager you shouldn't be shying away from giving proper feedback just to avoid potentially damaging a working relationship.