Do you really trust and like your colleagues?

[CoconutTilly]

I can only count two ex colleagues who I’ve always liked and trusted.

One I thought was ok dropped me like a hot potato once she retired. Is it always like this??

even with my favourite colleagues, i've only ever regarded them as 'work friends' - enjoying my time with them, but also having in the back of my mind that once either of us leave, the friendship will probably fade away.

I like most of my colleagues and do socials on working days with them sometimes; but don’t think of them as my friends. Once they leave or I leave we will forget each other.

Definitely work friends

From all my jobs I only made one friend for life that we still keep in touch; but we both live in different countries; however when we connect is like we have never been apart.

Some of mine have turned into real friends after leaving, two from my last job (left 15 years ago) and one from the job before that (left 25 years ago). We never talk about our old workplaces now. I still keep in touch with one from the job before that too but haven't seen her in years. I am very close to my current colleagues but don't know how that would sustain if I left, you never can tell till it happens.

I’ve been at my current job for 9 years, I have three very good friends, but we all work in different teams, a couple of nice friends in my team, but that’s it. I don’t trust the rest of them much. And conversation is dry.

I’m Getting married next year, my close friends from work will be there and one is MOH. I realised in a teams meeting today I have no interest in inviting the others to the night do.

Its sad really, I wish making friends as an adult was easier.

My colleagues now are generally nice. Pleasant when we meet in the office.

But I don't see them as friends. I'm unlikely to keep in touch if I or they leave though.

I have 3 friends from previous workplaces. 1 who we can talk about anything and the other 2 we have catch ups every few months and it’s lovely and always nice to see them. I think we’re still in touch because we made friends in our 20a when we had more time and socialised through work a lot more.

current work situation is hybrid. I really like a few of them but doubtful we’ll keep in touch when we’re out. I really think work friends are situational. If you mark a friend that slips from ‘work’ friend to real life friend that’s an absolute bonus. But yeah I have learned the hard way not to tell anyone at work anything that you wouldn’t mind everyone else knowing.

No they all annoy me some more than others. All hypocrites, all think they work harder than the other. I love my job but the people get me Down. I don't socialise with any of them out of work but talk to them in work but that's about as far as it goes.

We keep in touch through WhatsApp and meet up every 6 weeks or so for meals. These are friends for life now.

Yes I do.

I genuinely like my manager and trust her, my colleagues are OK and we all get along but If I met them in another non work setting would I like them or be friends with them? No. Do I trust them? No, it's everyman for himself. Would any of us maintain contact if we left - No.
I do have one friend who I met through work that I still see 20 years later, the job was informal, fun, physical and we had lots of time to talk as we worked and physically helped each other. My current role is hybrid, lots of Teams meetings and messaging, no proper breaks when you do go into the office so we have little time to talk or form relationships.

I have a number of friends from different jobs that will be lifelong friends.

But most colleagues simply came and went!

One I thought was ok dropped me like a hot potato once she retired. Is it always like this??

not meaning to minimise your disappointment, but when you talk about trust, I thought you meant trust when working with your colleagues.

you say she's retired, so I expect she wants to enjoy her retirement, it doesn't mean she's dropped you, she's just getting on with her life.

No and they're not people I'd Choose to be friends with either; at one point or another I've heard everyone of them call each other.
They're all 50 faced & I wouldn't trust them as far as I can spit!

Like? Some of them, yeah. Some of them, no. I can tolerate all of them.

Trust? Depends what you mean by trust. Trust them to be able to do their job correctly, not make my job harder and not fuck me about in work? Yeah most of them. Trust them with anything related to my personal life? Nope. They're my colleagues, not my friends, I do not need to trust them beyond the trust involved in a professional relationship.

Nope.

Nope.

Never

Yes same for me.

Ah that’s a shame. I’ve made some good friends over the years.

Aww sorry to hear this. Disappointing isn’t it.

It’s so hard to make new friends isn’t it. I’m the same.

I’ve made 3 or 4 really good “friends for life” through work. Many many more who I stayed close to for years but then kids, cross-country moves etc saw us drift apart but would be delighted to see if we bumped into each other.

I have also made some connections through work who I would prefer never ever to cross paths with again.

Work is just a microcosm of life more broadly isn’t it? 🤷‍♀️ Though I would say I’ve become more guarded as I’ve got older and probably trust much less easily, particularly after one or two experiences at work with senior colleagues who were great friends of mine - until they weren’t.

We are a small company - less than 10 people but we are all good friends in that we go to each others weddings etc and do nights out. I dont think we would all stay best buddies if we all left work but we all get on really well and what is disucssed at work stays at work! If I had any sort of problem I know they would all jump to help me out no matter what it was.

we knew my colleague wanted to split up with her husband before he did. We know each others kids, buy each other birthday presents, pass on clothes etc.

Yes, I’ve tended to find I’m a use …until I’m no longer needed. I’m definitely more guarded nowadays.