Do Single Parent Nurses have any say in their shifts?

[Madmanc]

My cousin has a 2 year old daughter that she parents with her ex but I'm not sure if she's being totally honest with us regarding her workshifts.
Although her daughter is in nursery 3 days a week she keeps asking me to look after her at the weekend if her ex is unavailable or working as she says she has to work Sat & Sun that week or Fri & Sat?
As she only works 2 shifts a week I find it strange that she would be asked to work most weekends at the hospital and I did think they would be more considerate to single parents (although maybe that's not the case).
As a result of course she has 3 full days to herself at home whilst her daughter is in nursery unnecessarily and I find that I'm spending most weekends child caring!

you’re spending most weekend caring for the child… so the ex is also unavailable most weekends?

agree to childcare but say you’d prefer to do it in her house and see what she says!

They made no concessions for me. I even had to do on calls as a single parent, I was on call one night a week and often got called - had to wake the kids up and take them in with me. Ultimately it's down to the ward / unit manager. Flexible working can be refused if it is felt that the work area cant manage the request.

No, most wards don't take home circumstances into account. You'll be scheduled for whatever they need. Though if it's 2 days, it should only be one or two weekends a month.

Nope. You can request to a certain point. We were allowed 2 requests a month (you didn't always get them, even if you requested them). Other than that it's up to you to try and swap shifts with others if you can.

I was single with 2 young kids and when I said I couldn't attend training outside of normal shift hours, I was told "Maybe if you cant be flexible, this isn't the job for you".
I ended up on nights for 12 years, because at least then I could put them to bed in my parent's house, go to work, pick them up from there and take them to school, and then sleep while they were in school for about 5 hours. It was exhausting, but I had no option. Their dad did a runner.

Are you sure she isnt choosing the weekend shifts so she doesn't have childcare costs and she gets enhanced pay for weekends?
On 2 shifts a week she shouldn't really be allocated more than one full weekend (sat/sun) and one other weekend day , either sat or sunday

Usually have to be flexible with nursing but I've known places allow a single parent or someone whose partner also works shifts to request one static shift per week eg always a Friday.
As PPs have said I wonder if she's putting herself forward for weekends to get the enhanced pay as wouldn't be expecting her to work more than 2 weekends a month if she's only 2 shifts a week

In my experience not really no unfortunately

The NHS is not particularly family friendly - although this varies hugely from place to place.

I don't think you should be caring for her child at the weekends - it's up to her to sort out paid childcare.

Start refusing and you might find she 'needs' to work fewer weekends.

She might do better working bank only shifts where she can choose the shifts she works.

It's irrelevant, though, surely, OP. If you don't want to look after her child, say so, and she needs to arrange childcare for whenever her shifts are if her ex can't look after the child then. This child has two parents. They have to sort it out between them, or pay someone if that's not possible.

No flexibility for me,no ex H to help either (he tried to kill me) I did nights because it was easier, got oldest DD and a friend to stay over. Our ward manager did rota 3 months in advance which was a nightmare. We swapped amongst ourselves,it was acceptable as long as the ward was covered.

I think she is taking the piss.

The nurses I know have limited say but only do that many weekends if they choose it. One of my friends does as many nights and weekends as possible because it means childcare from partner and other family. But it’s all out in the open.

The unit I used to work in was very happy to offer any staff set shifts each month. As a general rule, everyone was expected to do around one-third unsocial shifts (nights/weekends) so people weren't able to just work the 'nice shifts'. In my experience, the NHS is now keen to retain staff and is becoming more family friendly. I'd say if she isn't doing it on purpose then she needs to submit a flexible working request.

Update - Have had a chat with cousin and it turns out she's been struggling with depression and finds it difficult to look after child herself. Her ex is very good but she admitted she's asked herself to work weekends so that she only has to look after her child 1 or 2 days a week as they go to nursery 3 days in the week.
She's got appointment to see GP this week as probably needs antidepressants - glad we've had a talk and I'll help her as much as I can.
Thanks for all your replies.