A horrid boss or terrible paternity leave - help!

[EmilyMK1]

Hiya

Would love your thoughts on a dilemma my husband has. He has got a new boss at work who is horrible - rude, critical, and basically makes every day quite miserable. My husband is coping OK but it is affecting his mood. The issues are personality based so unlikely to get better.

In most circumstances he would leave and find a different job, but the complication is, his currrent employer offers 6 months PAID paternity leave. Which is incredible, obviously. Most likely a new employer would offer the standard 2 weeks, at best.

We are TTC our third child, so the idea of losing this pat leave feels awful, but also I'm not even pregnant yet so there'd be at least 9 months of him having to stick this out. And then having to find a new and settle into a new job with a baby might be tricky. There isn't any kind of clause that would say he'd have to pay anything back if he left though.

6 months off as a family would be very precious time and we hate the idea of this awful boss depriving us of that by forcing him to leave. But, with no timeline against a pregnancy, I'm just not sure I can reasonably expect him to suffer each day (nor do I want him to!)

What would you guys do? In the grand scheme of life the pat leave seems worth a shitty year or two at work, but that's easier said than lived!!

I did it with maternity leave with my 1st. Stuck it out with a crappy work environment for the maternity pay.

Personally i'd try and stick it out, 6 months paid would be amazing! With the caveat that if it gets really bad, he cuts and runs.

Could he move jobs with the same employer? He shouldn't have to put up with that regardless of pat leave - what's the HR situation (ie is there even HR?)

Oo tough! I do think 6 months paid is amazing and I wouldn't want to loose that.

What's the situation? Is he able to wfh? Move teams?

Look into if the paternity pay will need paid back of he leaves with a certain time period. Not sure if that will matter, but I know its a feature in many maternity pay set ups

Thanks guys - he works hybrid but even when wfh has a lot of rude calls/emails to deal with so the toxic vibe continues! Unfortunately it's a small company where he'd have the same boss unless he took a more junior role (which we couldn't afford)

Thankfully the policy means he wouldn't have to repay anything if he left during or shortly after the pat leave

Are you certain it's not that he can only have the paid 6 months if you aren't taking your maternity leave?

Yep! It's a really perfect policy... with the caveat of the horrible boss!!

Every parent has the right to 4 weeks per child unpaid leave once they’ve been with the employer a year. Usually moves mean pay rises. Could look at a move with a view to taking some extra time off that you’ve saved up for (might not be the full 6, but at least more than the statutory 2 weeks)

A lot of employers are offering extended pat leave these days anyway - he might get lucky and land somewhere with extra benefits.

My husbands mental health went downhill due to his employer so dramatically we both took a sabbatical! I don’t think any benefit it worth being so unhappy for.