If you have taken a career break…

[SackofSweets]

Were you glad you did?

Context, I am a solicitor working PT for a flexible organisation. I do 3 days a week. I don’t mind my job but I don’t love it.

I have a 3 and 5 year old. 5 year old in reception and 3 year old is in nursery but about to start at the schools preschool
in September which will be free (saving £800pcm) but term time only.

I parent alone, DH works very long hours but earns well. I have continued to work because I have a feeling I need to keep my foot in the door, keep current and keep my options open.

But tbh I’m finding it harder and more guilt inducing navigating school holidays and school than I did when they were both at nursery. I am speaking obviously with the summer holidays looming. I use kids club etc but I constantly feel like I’m chasing my tail.

I have this constant feeling of being overwhelmed. I had pretty significant post natal depression and anxiety after my second child and think I’m still operating on that heightened state. I’m quite a perfectionist and tie myself up in knots trying to do it all right.

Im also aware my eldest, who is NT as far as I know finds the long days of wrap around care challenging and is much more settled and content with shorter school days. I don’t have the same concerns re my youngest who finds it all much easier and takes it in his stride. My eldest, I fear, is like me and has a bit of a disposition to anxiety.

So to the point, I am thinking of taking a career break. My income is surplus to what we need to run the household. I also have some very PT, self employed income which we have previously not utilised but realistically would make up the shortfall if I leave work.

I am considering having the summer off, or just doing my SE bits - which is busy this time of year, very lucrative but not time consuming and then doing some locum work as and when on a very PT basis and mostly term time.

Anyone else done it?

I just want to stop feeling so rushed and I also want to be able to give that to my kids over the holidays. I hate the feeling they are shunted around and would like to just take my foot off and breathe a bit.

If you can manage financially, go for it. You are stressing yourself for money that you imply you do not need. Discuss it with your partner and see if they are on the same page. It might have consequences for returning to work in the future, but then again, you could be sacked, made redundant or who knows what else.

My DH just says he wants me to be happy and recognises that I keep all the plates spinning at home. He is very supportive and we do work well as a team. We share money etc so that’s not an issue. His view is just have some time out and pick up some locum work if I want to. But he acknowledges that looking after the children, the house and all that I do is a commitment.

If you both earn well, could you look at employing a Nanny so the children get shorter hours and the nanny can cover some of the domestic load e.g. the childrens laundry and meals etc?

Personally I wouldn't do it because a three day week as a solicitor in a flexible organisation is a really hard to come by position. I would do the job and throw money at the drudgery and maybe a part time nanny to improve my life quality.

Could you take unpaid parental leave for a couple of months and see if you want to continue, as you might hate being at home full time.

Also I know the money isn't an issue here but when you say your three year old will be going to preschool so it's free and saving £800 a month, do you mean actually free, or funded hours? Funded hours sometimes don't save as much money as you think, although presumably you know what it will cost if your older child already attended.

This is plan B. Next year I won’t be able to use wraparound care so have thought about using a nanny (hopefully the one we use on an adhoc basis) for pick up, tea etc until I get home. I think this would be easier on my eldest than after school club.

and yes, the drudgery that’s sort of what i do now. Like having a cleaner. A nanny on my working day for the afternoon/tea time is probably a good idea though.

The funded hours arent free at nursery, but the preschool at the school doesn’t charge a top up. My eldest went too 😁 that’s why I’m making the move.

I'm a solicitor. I took a career break for 3. 5 years when my eldest was born and went back to work very pt when my youngest was 9 months.

Youngest started reception last Sept and I'm now pretty much ft. It is sooo much easier now with them both at school plus my employer is so flexible (no issues taking time off for sports day etc/wfh) there's no way I'd risk losing that flexibility whilst dcs are at primary. Also, I struggled to find a new job after taking that break and found this job via a friend referral.

I know your DH earns well but I also like having money going into my pension (I'm not married so that's important for me).

I took a 2 year career break from the NHS before I had kids so for other reasons aside from missing spending time with children etc. I worked in a different sector and it actually gave me the mental breathing space to miss my old job. I went back and 3 years on I've had a years maternity leave and have been promoted X2 as it helped reignite my passion for the job.

I'm now planning another baby and will 100% go back part time. If I had the option I'd give up work completely but I think I needed the time away to realise I still liked what I was doing.

I'd say go for it!

@Reddoin that’s exactly why I am still working and went back - to maintain my independence.

I feel with my foot in the door I can always go FT, pursue a promotion or better paid role and support myself if I needed to. I am married, happily married and my DH is great but have always held on to the belief and need to be independent “just in case”. Divorce rates are far too high to not consider it a possibility.

I am a solicitor. I was a partner in a smallish city firm and I took nine and a half years out of law to bring up my DC. I returned to work 5 years ago, firstly at an out of London firm and I am now a managing associate at a big city firm. Take a look at Reignite Home - Reignite Academy - Relaunching Legal Careers - London, UK who specialise in getting lawyers back into work after career breaks and maybe have a chat with them. I thought it would be very difficult to get back into the law after my time off but I am in a pretty specialist area and I was actually offered 3 jobs - you do have to choose your recruitment agent with some care though. So my advice would be to go for it. Probably best to try and find something to do once the children are at school - I got a place on a government advisory committee - maybe apply to be on a board or similar - to keep your hand in with the world of work, and give you something to talk about at interviews. There are also many lawyers on demand outfits now that you could perhaps sign up for. Think the Law Society has a returners section on their website - take a look at that. There are a lot of options open to you. Good luck! Happy to chat if you would like more detail.

I went part time term time only - would your company consider that for a few years?

@Epwell Thank you so much for that. That’s really useful.

That would be amazing I get just under 6 weeks annual leave (including statutory days). I don’t know if I dare ask in honesty. But that would help so much.

Have you considered contracting though one of the firms that has a lawyer on demand type offering? That way you take on engagements that suit you so you could keep your hand in to the extent it suits you? I work in a large firm (am operations not a lawyer) and sometimes see employees leave but take that up as an alternative

@Jfw82 I’ve never heard of lawyer on demand so will have a look into it.

Pinsent Mason Vario, Flex Legal and Lawyers on Demand are some of the ones I'm aware of

I took seven years off and never regretted it - I loved those years I spent at home with the kids. I went back into a totally different sector and now work full time (plus!) in a job I absolutely love, and I have a 'new career' enthusiasm at the time when lots of people I know are starting to wind down or feel a bit jaded. I think I'm quite lucky, though, to have found a role I love that pays reasonably well.

It’s like you’re writing about me - solicitor working 24 hours a week, 3 kids aged 6 and under and my husband works in a job that means that he is rarely around if it’s a working day (but works shifts so often off mid-week). I work in-house for an insurer so possibly different deadline pressures but I had a really helpful chat with my HR team when I went back after baby #2 and explained that the school holidays were going to be hard to navigate with very little family support and a husband with quite set shifts. I have it agreed that I can work condensed hours during the holidays, to fit around my husband. I never work more than 3 days during the holidays and usually do 2 days and use AL for the other day. Is there any scope for you to do this? Or take on a term time only contract? Obvs if you’re in something like conveyancing that wouldn’t work.

Youre completely normal for your concerns though - I sat down and synced all our calendars for the summer holidays and then found a good window for me to take 10 days off - we only have young kids for a very short period of time in reality and I want to enjoy their holidays and not just drop them to holiday camps (no shade on holiday camps, the kids love them!!)

You’ll land on a good solution im sure - just don’t let your PC lapse!

I mean this kindly but the issue may be your DH... I would hate not to work - need the mental stimulation, feeling like me and setting a good example to my children (girls). I have lots of flexibility at work and it sounds like you do too. The difference is my DH is present and fully involved. The loads is shared and we spin the plates together. Don't make yourself vulnerable when there are other options.

I worked term time only when mine were little, if you don't ask you'll never know if this is possible. Does your company have a flexible working policy you can have a look at? I was lucky and had this arrangement until my youngest left primary school. Not in the same work sector as you but definitely worth enquiring.

thanks so much for sharing this, it’s helpful to know there’s others in the same boat. I have sat down with a calendar and I’ve got most of the holidays covered for summer, I’ve found a nanny to help bridge some gaps. The holidays for the rest of the year I’ve managed to cover with AL.

I was a City lawyer, took a career break when my kids were around this age. I’m still not back working for one reason or another.

With hindsight I should have fought harder for DH to take on more of the home burden - even if that meant him downgrading his career/earnings - in order for me to keep mine going. Like yours he “just wanted me to be happy” but in honest that meant “as long as it doesn’t affect my own career”. Not all that supportive really!

Whilst right now I bet a break seems very appealing, think how you will feel in a few years if you can’t get back in (or not at the same level). Yes there are returner programs but a flexible 3 day a week lawyer job is hard to find, even for non returners.