Male co-worker keeps turning our office radio down

[user1471867483]

I've been in my office job now for 9 years, my other co-worker 4 years and another 15 years. A male co-worker joined 18 months ago. We always have the radio on. However, a few weeks ago, when I wasn't there, he told my co-worker that he wanted the radio moved away from him, so she moved it closer to us. Now, today, I went to the toilet, came back, and the radio was turned down by him (my co-worker was present). She emailed me to say he turned it down as it was getting on his nerves. Ten minutes later I turned it back up again (as I am not allowing the newest one in the office taking over). Our boss allows us to have the radio and has done all these years. My co-worker said I'm ballsy to turn it up again, but why shouldn't I? He's the second newest in fgs. Was I wrong to turn it back up or something?

This is the one you decide to listen to! What a selfish woman. I worked in an office like this and this level of bullying is intolerable and only the beginning. Next you'll be whining about the temperature, what he had for lunch, smell of his aftershave him parking in the wrong place. My other half is autistic and could not work with a radio on, and he has not obliged to mention his disability to his team mates. If someone wants it off it should go off.

It’s in sufferable people like this that makes workplaces toxic these days

That brings the whole Health & Safety in the Workplace thing into play...

Radio would absolutely drive me mad. You could compromise by wearing headphones for half the day / week each.

So the OP returns to cherry-pick the ONE answer that supports her selfish POV over 3.5 pages of responses and says 'I'll tell him to do that' 🙄

I've turned down jobs where they have the radio playing all day. I have no problem with usual office noises but not that one.

My DD is considering leaving her job because the office plays a shitty pop channel all day. She hates it but feels she is too junior to object. Really really irritates her to the point they are about to lose an excellent worker.
OP is a bully.

Perhaps you should also suggest he looks for a different job that doesn’t involve working with selfish colleagues in a toxic bullying environment?

Hmmm. I'm on the fence with this.

I have the radio on at home all the time EXCEPT when I'm wfh - not sure why but I never think to turn it on when I've got a wfh day. It's on ALL THE TIME in the office and whilst it's mostly just background noise occasionally someone will put on some godawful station and I do ask if it can be turned down or switched station.

You can work with the radio down or off. Your co-worker CAN'T work with it on as loud as you want it. I think yabu to keep it on.

I find background music rather irritating, I don't like it in supermarkets either although I was in one in France a few years ago and Lily Allen's song 'Fuck You' came on (and on, and on, and on) and that was quite amusing. 🤐

I'd be fuming if colleagues suggested I wear noise cancelling headphones all day. It's not acceptable.

I think you've just proved the kind of person that you are. An entirely self-centred nightmare of a colleague who doesn't listen to any kind of advice, or to anyone's point of view (unless it's yours)

I have no idea why you asked for opinions.

I shuddered when I read this...radios have no place in an office.

You are being incredibly selfish and should not be inflicting noise and your choice of music on people who just want to do their job.

If you want to listen to music at work, get some headphones.

Not to mention that it is really unprofessional when you take phone calls from external stakeholders/clients and there is background music blaring...

I lived in Paris in 2008 when that song was constantly played on French radio. It was amusing, walking up to the supermarket checkouts as the chorus kicked in.

Having the radio on all day would be too much for me. That constant noise would drive me mad. Its on all day? Listening to what?
People have difference tolerance levels to noise.
Why don't you just ask him if it's bothering him and come to an arrangement. I don't think it is fair to say that because you've been there longer, than he has no say.

But it does affect some. I couldn’t work with a radio on. In fact these days I will only apply for WFH jobs as I find most office noise unbearable.

Yes you were unreasonable. You are there to work, not be petty and flex your muscle “who was here first”
Some people find radio very disruptive and can’t work with it.

Does everyone in the office actually want the radio on? It would be fairly strange to have a group of people all of whom like the radio on when working and all of whom agree which station it should be. I suspect the truth is that, as newer people come in, they have just put up with it. If the managers ran a secret ballot to discover whether anyone apart from you actually likes it, it could be quite revealing.

In my old role my colleague brought in a radio and honestly it was the most irritating fucking racket to listen to. But the majority liked it so as a compromise now and again it would be turned down slightly. People have different tastes and different ways of working. I think the attitude of he’s the new colleague how dare he tell us what we can and can’t do is not reasonable. He might find it hard to concentrate with music on. He might like listening to a particular genre and therefore find whatever it is you are listening irritating.

We used to listen to radio one, they’d play 3 hours of crap then the next presenter would come on and play the same crap in a different order for another three hours.

Maybe my colleagues thought it was the best music they had ever heard and absolutely loved it.

I think turning it back up was passive aggressive to be honest. If he had outright turned it off then. I think you would have reason to be annoyed but he’s turned it down so it’s less intrusive.

I don’t think it will end well either. Why can’t you just wear headphones?🎧

If it's set to Radio One I would get up and throw it out of the window.

He may be new but I think you should consider his feelings and all come to an arrangement so you can listen and he can have peace and quiet.

OP, you are just plain mean. Frankly, you are why I am self-employed.

Was I wrong to turn it back up or something?

Yes @user1471867483 The shared office environment and its effect on the ability to do ones job effectively, is not something decided by how long individuals have worked there.

He's not 'new', he's worked there (and put up with this) for 18 months. The fact that after all this time you still don't consider him a full colleague, is telling of your attitude. He's been more patient than I'd have been, and he has every right to turn the volume down. It's not like he went to the boss to complain.

Agree with most other posters: it’s a place of work, so the radio is unprofessional and should only be played with consent of every worker in the vicinity.

The emails between OP and colleague, along with the behaviour over the turning the radio back up every time he turns it down, is bullying and work place hostility.

I’d suggest he probably has a case for constructive dismissal against the firm - and this an HR grievance against OP and colleague - as a result of the fact you are both blatantly making his work life a misery, which will probably lead to him looking for another job.

Asking him to wear noise cancelling headphone is disgusting. My kids have worn them at school in the past (asd/ADHD) and I’ve tried them at home when builders have been in - they are uncomfortable, trigger headaches if worn for longer than the odd half hour due to how tight they are around the ear, are a health and safety risk as it mutes the sound of fire alarms - and how the f*ck is he supposed to hear phones etc with them on.

OP you should be ashamed of yourself and count yourself lucky he’s not started a formal grievance procedure with HR. Despicable behaviour.

You're definitely unreasonable. He should have to wear noise cancelling headphones just so the two of you can jolly yourself with a radio? Being able to work in a quiet environment that supports focus and concentration surely trumps entertainment from a radio. What you're doing is close to bullying, preventing your coworker from being able to focus on his work and then suggesting that his needs matter less as he is the newest memeber.

Get yourself some headphones (proper ones that don't "leak" noise) if you want to listen to music while working and stop disturbing his work.

I think a few things are very telling

OP has only responded to 1 message that fits what she wanted to hear
She thinks she has superiority just because she has been there longer
The guy always waits until she is out of the room before touching the radio

All point to OP being unreasonable, but it doesn’t matter because she'll ignore this post anyway!