High pay but no enjoyment - what to do

[Lili24188]

Hello, looking for advice as I need some outside perspectives please. My partner and I currently do not have children, but looking to TTC in a few months (I hope).

I work in a tech team in a mid-senior role in the UK ~£80k gross salary. I fell into the role and have been doing it for a few years. I transferred from the finance department where I obtained a professional chartership qualification and I have a finance university background.

I'm feeling increasingly inadequate at work and like I have to keep learning tech skills to keep up with younger new starters that are more junior. I don't find the role interesting really, and don't see myself as someone in tech in my head even though that's what I do for work now. My first choice career would be a finance role but it may be more stressful, less flexible or less pay.

I've thought long and hard about whether to try and move jobs but there are some definite perks to staying.

Perks - work life balance (I work around 35 hours a week), some autonomy, pay, flexibility if I needed it, work from home 3 days a week, not super stressed, wouldn't feel protective/territorial about the role if I went on mat leave.

Cons - dislike the job, feel bad about myself for not being 'good enough' at it, no progression, not what I see myself doing long term, I have no work excitement whatsoever, I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.

Am I being stupid? Do I just need to stop thinking about it, take the money and appreciate what I have more even if I don't 'enjoy' it?

I am not sure how having kids will change me as well - is there a possibility I simply won't care at all that I don't find my job exciting and am not excelling at it, after having kids?

@Lili24188 decisions like this depend on where you are in your life cycle. If you are planning to TTC shortly, stay where you are. Ideally have your family while you are in a well paid job you can manage in 35 hours with WFH and flexibility.

Once the DC are here you have the rest of your life to pursue your career.

What I will add is, being realistic, if TTC isn’t straightforward then there will be a point when putting your career on hold is not the right decision.

Could you explain a bit more about your position and what you actually do, on a month to month basis. Is it boring. Was it CIMA or equivalent you did, but don't enjoy the finance bit?
Was it the tech side you enjoyed more. Could you take another job and move back to that area, or take a different job internally?
Which bits of work do you actually enjoy?

For £80k 3 days wfh and potentially ttc soonish, I'd stay.

I'd look at doing something in my spare time that really interested me instead and just keep my work head for work.

This is so hard OP. I'm in a similar situation. Well paid, flexible role but am bored, jumping ship means risking flexibility and take home pay. I've applied for a couple of similar paying jobs, I've got an interview for one, I'm basically going to have a very frank conversation with the recruiter if I get the role to ensure the flexibility I currently have. In terms of stress, I think I need a busier role to keep me challenged and engaged, so I need to suck that up and remember that for me, boredom is worse.

In your situation and if TTC I would stay due to the hours, flexibility and pay. I would reassess after maternity leave.

If you are planning to have kids then 100% stick it out for their early years. You will appreciate a flexible, low stress, high paid job A LOT with small children about.

What are your salary expectations if you change career?

short term, stick it out.

Longer term, you need to find something you like and want to grow in. I’m fifty and I’ve been in tech my whole career. I love it, and I’ve always loved it. That love means that I’m always exploring new tech, reading and learning. I get really frustrated with people who don’t keep up, because you can’t just put them where you need them, their background knowledge isn’t as rich.

In a field that moves this fast, you really need the passion.