Struggling with boundaries and routine doing 5 days compressed

[Fortyin24]

Hoping for some advice or experiences

I am in well paid corporate position and agreed informally with my manager about a year ago that I’d do 5 days in 4. I actually requested to do 80% FTE, my manager advised against it as she said I’d likely end up doing the same workload. I have 2 young DC, one in reception and one in nursery.

I seem to be increasingly stressed and struggling with my working pattern, or lack of it! I end up on my laptop all evening after the kids have gone to bed, then go to bed too late or don’t sleep well, struggle to get up the next day, neglect exercise…vicious cycle ensues. In a senior role like this I’ve never given much consideration to ‘working hours’, this change seems to have made me very conscious of them and not in a good way. My performance review is very good and my boss seems to have no issues, I end up feeling guilty though if I’m not permanently’on’ or being seen to work late on my 4 days.

Any advice would be appreciated, as I very highly value my day off and want to make it work in a way that is sustainable for my family and mental health.

@ImNotAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm Agreed, earlier starts work better for me personally than working late in the evening. Like the OP this impacts my sleep which in turn impacts my mood and productivity the following day and everything just seems a whole lot worse. I would rather do a few hours early morning even at weekends if absolutely necessary.

Problem is that’s really my only time to do my sport and exercise, I could start even earlier I guess but ouch 😣 agree earlier rather than later would work, I’m more of a morning person and a few colleagues are on earlier time zones. However quite a few on US, maybe I could do an earlier start day and a later start day and book meetings accordingly

When I said about actually reducing hours, I hadn't appreciated what your salary is. Although I am on a decent amount it's certainly not >£100k and I do think once you get to that level there is an expectation that you will get the job done without much reference to home life, so actual reduction may not be suitable.

I would also say that if you're fitting exercise in as well, no wonder you're knackered. As you're getting good reviews and everyone is still alive, maybe just accept you will be knackered whilst the DCs are young, outsource as much of housework as you can and make sure DH is doing 50% of everything.

I think where you decide to draw the boundaries is less important than just drawing some. Just grabbing your laptop every evening and working for an undefined amount of time to ‘make up’ for not working one day a week is neither workable nor necessary. At your level, nobody is counting hours, and you said that you’re performing so your boss likely doesn’t care either. I bet you’re not taking a lunch break, you could maybe set aside an hour extra every evening or morning for a specific task (catching up on email, or book a meeting with a colleague in a different time zone?).

Depending when the children get up can you do 5am-7am, drop at nursery/whatever then your 8 hour shift - allowing yourself a bit of time in the evening? I actually dic 11 hours 2 days 9 the other 2 and take the hit on getting up max early - but then have time to do more on the 9 hour days... it's not ideal of course. Now mines at school i do a 5 day week but do still do 3 10 hour days with 2 5 hour days - the 5 hour days allow for a lot more to be achieved!