Stepping down a level without feeling like a failure

[Junebughustle]

I'm almost 2 years into my first Director level role, and I'm needing to admit to myself - it's not just imposter syndrome, I can't keep up with the demands of my job. I've always been career driven but lately I find I just don't have the energy to devote anymore.

I'm not achieving the things I should be, and where I work, budgets are tight so I can't get the support I need. Additionally I just want more of a work-life balance. I'm pregnant with my first, and had a miscarriage earlier in the year - I feel I can't rule out work stress as a cause.

I want to find a lower pressured, non Director level role after maternity leave but feel like a failure for wanting this.

Has anyone made a similar move? How did you find it?

I’ve never been in the same boat as I’ve never wanted to be in management, as I know the stress that comes with it. I’m quite happy just doing my job.
It sounds like taking a step back would be good for you, especially when you’re going to be adding to your family.

You only one have one life to live, and it sounds like you want to focus on one that brings you the most joy. Having that choice sounds like success to me.

I have been seconded into head of service role for the last year, they recently put it out for advert with expectation I would apply (and probably get it, though obviously not guaranteed). I decided not to apply for it and to step back into my substantive role as a service manager. I needed a better work life balance and frankly had burnt myself out. I have done some work recently around my drivers in work and what I really want for myself in life. I know HoS/director roles aren't what I need at this point in my journey - not ruling out for the future but I need to create some greater space for me and my family at the moment. I think maybe spend some time really thinking about what sits behind your description of yourself as a failure for in essence choosing a different job, that will help. But in a nutshell of course you aren't one for making a different choice for yourself at this (or any) juncture in your life.

Being a success/failure in life isn't about the status of a job title/role. The company you work for doesn't care about you personally and everyone is replacable.You wouldn't be a failure if you stepped down, you'd be a success in finding balance and happiness which is much more important than a fancy job title.

I made director recently, but my kids are older. I am not sure I would have been ready or had the oomf needed to do it when my kids were little, particularly as it was days before WFH was common.

You need to think about the terms of your mat leave. Some packages insist you return for a period of time. If you really don't want to go back, it might be better not to accept any enhanced package.

I’m handing my notice in from my director role today! I’m mildly terrified but sort of excited at the same time. I’m very privileged in that I’m nearly 59 so can position it as semi retiring but in reality I can’t do it any more and plan to go freelance. Doesn’t help you though, but have a hug, it’s shit feeling overwhelmed