Failed my promotion exam

[Mamma1982]

So...I'm feeling really despondent like my title suggests.

I have three young boys aged 5, 3 and 17 months. I work full time shifts, in the emergency services, consisting of days, lates and nights - 6 on and 4 off.

I returned from maternity leave last June. I've studied to pass my promotion exam and found out today I failed it. Everyone else I know has passed. They are either single with no children, have a supportive partner who looks after the children and gives them time to study or their children are much older.

I have no family help outside of my husband and I. He wasn't particularly supportive when I was studying as I'm working shifts too which means he has to do more when it comes to looking after the children, which he objects too. I still do most of the childcare, laundry, organisation, family house hold planning etc. I'm just gutted I didn't pass. I now have to continue studying to pass the exam which I can take again in Nov. I got 61.5% and needed 65%.

Honestly, I feel like I barely have the headspace and now I need to do it again. I'm exhausted. I know it's for the best longer term and if I'm promoted I can have a better work -life balance too. It just feels so hard right now. Any advice as to how I just pull up my big girl pants and carry on without feeling like such a failure...

You have to be selfish here and prioritise your studying. Can you find out where you went wrong in the exam and focus your study on the things you don't know? It can be very tempting to focus on revising the stuff you already know. Are there practice questions available to work through? Can you see previous exams? Trying to do an old exam paper in practice conditions is one of the best ways of highlighting weaknesses. Eat takeaways for a month if you have to. Can you draft in any relatives to take the children to give you peace and quiet to study?

@Sablecat

Thank you for your reply. We can't look over old exam papers as there are only so many questions that can be asked, so we aren't allowed access to them.

We can do practice Q&A but these can be very different to the actual exam. I did a crammer course too so will be able to do that again for free in October no as I failed.

I've been provided with a list of areas and what I scored but I was only just a couple of marks off in each of the three areas. I'll look through it all again when I'm feeling more refreshed. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. It's just hard when you want to be able to move forward but then can't.

Also no relatives to help with the childcare. Only my Mum who's 75 and my in-laws aren't in the picture as they live 5 hours away and prioritise their other grandchildren who live closer. My friends did help this time but they also have their own children to look after. The takeaways for a month would be great if we could afford it. The cost of childcare is one of the reasons I'm trying to get promoted as money is so tight! We literally have nothing left over at the end of the month after mortgage, bills and childcare costs.

Sgts exam? Insp exam?

Which company are you using for the prep? Do you have any time (scene guards, bedwatch, custody time) to sit and study, ever in your role? I did that for my NIE - night shifts spent sitting in the van awaiting SOCO etc.

You don't have to sit the next round, you could wait one then try again - give yourself breathing space.

Also plan a night or two a week of easy dinners - cheese and beans on toast, jacket potatoes - minimal cooking stuff with little planning. Take a spot of pressure off.

He wasn't particularly supportive when I was studying as I'm working shifts too which means he has to do more when it comes to looking after the children, which he objects too. I still do most of the childcare, laundry, organisation, family house hold planning etc.

Stop this now. 50/50 on this is the minimum you can expect. He’s a grown man with responsibilities that he chose.

You were very close, get your name down for a resit. As well as the suggestions about household stuff could you take a day off up study. Good luck.

Thank you all for your replies. The exam was for my Inspectors. I've had some headspace now to think I was close and will just have to try again. No time to study in the job unfortunately, it's just too busy. Will definitely do it again in November and hope I pass next time.

I agree my husband does need to contribute 50:50. I've also pulled him up on this and explained I expect more going forward as we should be working as a team. I really appreciate your supportive comments