Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I left work for good after very stressful situations. Anyone else?

26 replies

Calling · 25/05/2024 16:40

I had a good job but unfortunately was being treated unfairly and on top of that was in an accident. So I took leave from work after the accident but in hindsight that wasn't enough. Of course, management pressured me to work when I was off sick.

After breaking down after a vile meeting, I left the job some weeks later.

That was last year and it was one of the best decisions of my life! Since then I have been busy with various things and I am in a much better place mentally. I don't think that I can return to any work, for mental reasons, but that might change, i don't know.
Money is tight and my work pension reduced.

Anyone else?

Or anyone else in a similar situation?

OP posts:

IncognitoUsername · 25/05/2024 16:45

I needed to see this today! I left work yesterday, for similar reasons. My MH was not good and I could see that the work situation was not going to improve. Whilst working out my notice I had several ‘wobbles’ about whether I’m doing the right thing or not. My head knows it’s the right thing, my heart yearns for the job I had 20 years ago that I loved. But society has changed and that job doesn’t exist any more.
Im so glad things are working out for you and your story had really inspired me.

steamedisbest · 25/05/2024 16:50

have you been able to claim job seekers?

are you concerned about references?

steamedisbest · 25/05/2024 16:52

on your other thread you say you’re retired

Original poster

Calling · 27/05/2024 11:43

Sorry for delay in responding, Mumsnetters. I am chuffed to get replies.

@IncognitoUsername congratulations! 💐Very best wishes for the future. It does seem as though you have done the right thing, absolutely, when there are two major factors! How do feel today?

OP posts:

Octavia64 · 27/05/2024 11:47

Yes

I developed a fairly serious mh condition at least partially as a result of work,

I was already physically disabled which didn't help.

Currently claiming esa and when I finish the process on that will claim pip.

I own my own house and have significant savings.

Original poster

Calling · 27/05/2024 11:52

@steamedisbest yep, I am retired from my profession and will never go back to it.

I have been toying with the idea of a low-key job, but its really not clear for me yet. Maybe I will need to, maybe I can live frugally. I just see myself as retired.

I have thought about claiming job seekers' allowance, but I do have some saving left.
About a reference, should I change my mind, a reference wouldn't be a problem. I left correctly, worked out my notice and handed back my stuff.

OP posts:

Original poster

Calling · 27/05/2024 11:57

@Octavia64 that's sad about the workplace giving you MH issues. Could you make a claim against the workplace, if in time?
I will look into ESA, thanks.

OP posts:

Cattery · 27/05/2024 11:59

Yep. I walked out during covid when it was clear they were making up their own rules ie pretending none of it was happening. The freedom!!!

KnitnNatterAuntie · 27/05/2024 12:04

Yes, I retired early because my work situation was so awful. I didn't realise how toxic it was until after I left

Retirement is one of the best things ever . . . I can do what I went, when I want. I only have to deal with the people I choose too, generally speaking

I still see a few of the colleagues I was friends with and every time they tell me about what is happening at work, I know how fortunate I am to be retired

Cattery · 27/05/2024 17:44

@KnitnNatterAuntie Precisely

Original poster

Calling · 28/05/2024 10:26

@KnitnNatterAuntie that must have helped, hearing about the workplace being no better. It sort of helped me.

OP posts:

KnitnNatterAuntie · 28/05/2024 10:31

Calling · 28/05/2024 10:26

@KnitnNatterAuntie that must have helped, hearing about the workplace being no better. It sort of helped me.

Yes, I had lunch with a friend a couple of days ago and, if anything, it seems to be worse than when I was there

Work was such a huge part of my life and one of my friends was concerned that I might miss it, but it's such a relief not to have to deal with all the difficult personalities

Glad you're enjoying your freedom too!

Original poster

Calling · 28/05/2024 10:31

I woke up this morning, still under the weather and a wave of relief came when I remembered that I do not have to either slog on at work when ill, delaying a recovery or or go off sick and incur the wrath of management for being ill just after a bank holiday, which in their eyes meant you were lying.

FREEDOM!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Calling · 28/05/2024 10:37

@KnitnNatterAuntie that's great!

The difficult personalities were awful, after years of it.
Sometimes I miss the core work and meeting new people and going to new places. However, that was outweighed by the toxicity.

OP posts:

KnitnNatterAuntie · 28/05/2024 10:44

I can remember a senior manager doing a staff survey of 'work satisfaction'

My own department came bottom so the manager came to our team meeting to find out what was going on. No-one would give any honest answers during the meeting so he did the "My door is always open" bit and said he would appreciate it if some of the staff would talk to him privately about what was so going on

I went to see him, told him the honest truth about the problems in the department and he told me that I was talking rubbish! Shortly afterwards I was proved right and the senior manager disappeared!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 28/05/2024 13:19

Slightly different because I was old enough to retire but happy to keep on working, but a combination of commute, arsehole managers (esp during lockdown) a new system and a job that had changed to the point I wasn't enjoying it anymore had me thinking 'You know what? I'm done here.'

That was three years ago. I kept telling myself I'd go back to work but haven't so far.

I can remember a senior manager doing a staff survey of 'work satisfaction'

We used to have those. Anonymous, allgedly, except they weren't, because the first question was 'What area of the company do you work in?' so pretty easy to track down. As a result the people with issues either didn't reply or gave 'neither agree/disagree' answers, leaving the 'oooh, this place is my life and I'd work here for FREE!!' types to answer. Result - CEO thinks it's all hotsy-totsy and no issues got aired.

SpringShower · 28/05/2024 13:24

How old are you, OP? I’m all for leaving a toxic workplace or even an entire career if it’s causing stress, but unless I was very well off, I wouldn’t retire early.

redgreenblue2 · 28/05/2024 13:42

Omg me too ! I Handed in my notice after a horrible meeting after I got back from having 2 weeks off for work stress caused by an argument with the manager, the employers said I was not "pushed out" but handing in my notice the way I did on impulse and taking 2 wks off for a "minor disagreement" was me being unstable and they didn't want me to go even tho " I'm good at my job etc, but me being "unstable etc" they can't keep me on"
This was the first and only incident of this kind but they were worried I will repeat it.

But I can't get over it , Iv made the biggest mistake of my life, I have a receptionist/ admin role next week in private care home but I don't know if I enjoy it etc, and I hope I get another part time nhs medical secretary job in the future ( can't do full time till my youngest who has sen is older )

I can't shake the fact I ruined my life, I just wish I said "ok" to the manager with her request rather than query her about it, to which the manager shouted and said inappropriate things so I then took 2 wks sick leave , and due to the sick leave they had a meeting with me were i felt attacked so handed in my notice after, and I ended up losing my job, I did ask to retract my notice trey said no

Just can't stop feeling Iv made the biggest mistake of my life and going over it in my
Mind how I could have handled it better !!

I did this 20 yrs ago left a great job then went to one I hated, but left a few months to start a family so I escaped it but don't know if things will ever work out again for me or if it's history repeating itself with me not liking my new job.

Nineteendozen · 28/05/2024 17:55

I did. I don't know if it's permanent, but it's permanent for now! I have caring responsibilities so it assuages my guilt, and DH doesn't mind as we aren't run ragged trying to get everything done any more. I have developed quite the talent for cooking, now I have more time (this after 14 years married!)

Miley1967 · 28/05/2024 18:02

Calling · 27/05/2024 11:57

@Octavia64 that's sad about the workplace giving you MH issues. Could you make a claim against the workplace, if in time?
I will look into ESA, thanks.

ESA is for people who are too ill to work. You need sick notes and need to go through a medical assessment.
JSA is for unemployed people. I'm not sure whether you would get it if you voluntarily left a job although I did get it for a couple of months when I left a job due to MH reasons a few years ago. To claim JSA you do have to be actively seeking work.

Original poster

Calling · 30/05/2024 17:55

SpringShower · 28/05/2024 13:24

How old are you, OP? I’m all for leaving a toxic workplace or even an entire career if it’s causing stress, but unless I was very well off, I wouldn’t retire early.

Not a million years away from state retirement age. I am certainly not well off. I take in a lodger.

OP posts:

Original poster

Calling · 30/05/2024 18:05

@redgreenblue2 I think you did the right thing. Your employers treated you appallingly. Are you in a union? Were you advised by anyone who knows about employment law. I am not an expert, but I wonder whether employers did 'constructive dismissal'.

OP posts:

redgreenblue2 · 30/05/2024 18:10

Thank you @Calling. I was joined with a union but stupidly did not use them.
Im going to try and leave it behind me and get on with things but your comments has made me feel so much better thank you x

Original poster

Calling · 30/05/2024 18:15

@redgreenblue2 that is a good strategy, to look forward now. Aw, thanks, glad that I helped 😊

OP posts:

Original poster

Calling · 30/05/2024 18:29

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain @KnitnNatterAuntie not the dreaded staff survey! 😖 You just couldn't win. If you make constructive comments or said that you would work there for free, it wouldn't make much difference...

OP posts:

Flip

1 2