Charity job - boss I don't like

[Yorkshiremummy2023]

Hi ya

I work for a charity as a freelancer and I don't get on with my boss. She's always very stressed, complains about her numerous health problems, does everything last minute and expects us to work in a way that means everythung is done last minute because that way of working is all she can cope with, shares personnel information with others in the team, I only work a 7.5 hr week but she's constantly on my case to do more hours because she can't cope with the work load she has. Iam one of two students interns and she plays us off against each other. For instance the other student intern disappeared for 10 days when we were in the thick of a ton of actions, I questioned where she was. My manager didn't know but said she would speak to her but not mention I had raised it. She contacted her asking what was happening, but blamed me for raising it why she had to call.the other intern then texted asking why I said anything and has just created bad feeling between us since then because that's how my manager has continued to operate. I have tried reaching out to the chair of trustees to ask for a 121 and get his advice about the situation I said it was confidential at this stage. He said yes sure I will let you know my availability next week I haven't heard from him, he's quite obviously told her. she's emailing me in a way which would give me to believe she's BCCING him in and she's now asking for a phone call this morning to discuss things (I'm pretty certain she will record it) because she normally always zoom calls. I just don't know if I can continue working for them. It's only another two months I keep telling myself but it will be a long two months. If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it

It's easy for you to say @Uncooperativefingers I don't know what you do for a living but working as an intern in a job like this is really challenging and an industry I want to work in so I'm trying to perceiver which is why I'm asking for advice. I've tried and tried to push back to her but it's not like I have anyone else I can go to or even can witness anything it's her word against mine and she doesn't want to do her job and made an art out of not doing her job there's always a reason why she can't.. she's stressed today, she's ill today, she's too busy to do anything today.. one thing after another it's always someone else's issue. I have emailed her and spoken to her and called her she doesn't listen, she doesn't care.

What we are saying is that you need to stop caring what she thinks.

With the best will in the world, unless she is actually breaching employment law, the chair of trustees needs her a hell of a lot more than he needs you. If she leaves, he has no charity. And you are working a day a week for 2 months. The most will be a “hey, Sarah, go easy on the interns, hmmm?”

So either you leave, or you find a way to cope for the next 2 months.

There are some great suggestions on this thread. But only you can action them - grey rock, clear conversations, pushing back, sticking to hours, agreeing task list at the beginning of each week and sticking to it, not taking on more, billing for extra hours.

This honestly happens in many work situations. As you grow in confidence and experience, you'll learn techniques to push back.

Thanks for the advice I will have a think what to do. It literally says in my contract to speak to him if I have an issue and they repeated that to us. I only did that because I had shares with her something about a family member and she wrote it on email back to me copying the other intern in. So was just the final straw I had had enough and just merely asked for his advice about an issue I was having that's all I said. We have all had difficult bosses I have had them in the past myself but it's way different when you effectly have no HR, no colleagues around you and no where to go. Thanks for the advice though I appreciate it

Yes I get that's that's true @SheilaFentiman but why say go to him if really you cant.

Ok - the family member part is new information. Did he know that was the issue or have you just messaged him
asking for a meeting about how you work with Sarah, say?

Because pretty much every company has an escalation process on paper!

@Gazelda she won't agree a task list Gazelda she says it's too much for her to do that already tried. We have to work autonomously but also then do exactly what she wants and not beyond that. But also work proactive, but not proactive enough that she can't micro manage us. I do bill the extra hours but I don't want to work any extra for them.

Stick it out but put in boundaries. Trustees are volunteers and loathe to get into HR issues which they often have no clue about. Many trustees are either long serving and have checked out or are there in name only and expect the CEO to deal with these sorts of things. It is not right and not how good charities should run but often it is how they are. Chalk it up to experience and if you work for a charity again always ask about how the trustee board works. I say this as an employee of a charity and also as a trustee.

Yes I mentioned I the start you can't share anything with her without her repeating it. It'd just normal how she is. I emailed her back straight away and said I was shocked she had included that and I said I had only shared that with her because I couldnt attend a meeting. (First time I've had to say no to attending one of her meetings that she plans on what is supposed to ne my day off on a Monday) in the email she just said she understood why I couldn't attend but as usually didn't explain why she wrote that in the email. No I just said to him I wanted his advice about how to deal with a situation with her, I'm sure he's gone to her and she's spun it her way cos thats what she does. She doesn't listen, she doesn't care, doesn't give a shit in fact. She says all the right things but it's like it doesn't go in because her actions the next day are the total opposite

Yes your right @SheilaFentiman

Yes your probably right about it thanks @mumonthehill asking about the structure in future is also good advice

People like this always have a wingman, the other intern is this. They pick someone junior, give them choice jobs (never actual promotion ) and sound off to them about how great they are and how it's everyone else's fault . I've seen it so many times. Rise above it , stop caring and see it out. It'll be a very short time in your career, use your time to learn how not to do things!

That is exactly it @Quitelikeacatslife thanks it helps to know I'm not alone cos I feel pretty alone in this situation

Sorry, yes, you did say that she shared personnel information

if all you said to the chair was that you wanted advice on a situation with her then I am not surprised if he reached out to her to ask if she knew what the situation was.

You are going along with her ways, though.

”I can’t do a meeting that day because Monday is my day off” is sufficient, you don’t need to say “and I am visiting my mum in hospital” for example

What is it you would want the chair of trustees to do, by the way?

Yes I get you @SheilaFentiman but she expects you to make the time. Yesterday she messaged me on whatsapp wanting to ring me straight away about some drama she was having. I said no yesterday was my day off and I was out and she then proceeded to send me a massive email explaining why I was letting her down by saying no and what time can she ring me today and she's ringing me basically as soon as she gets to work. I end up having to overly justify myself due to all this. But even so she's supposed to be my manager I should be able to say I can attend due to these reasons and expect her not to repeat that on an email to the intern - why do they need to know ? But yeah I will put up more boundaries as others have advised and think about approaching this differently

Well I was thinking of telling him I want to leave and saying to him I want to leave and explain why and agree a date for me to do that I would be happy to work a weeks notice but I'm guessing a can't do that either.

Why do you want to work so few hours, if you are getting paid for overtime? I would probably go the other way and treat it as a challenge to keep up with the workload and charge accordingly. I wouldn't want to be the intern in the office drinking coffee and making small talk with a neurotic boss. And don't give her any personal information or anything you wouldn't want repeated to the world, assume it's like posting on facebook before you say anything!

If it's not for you leave.

Well because up to now I've been doing my degree I'm a student and have a young son of my own as well. So for instance Mondays I have child care of my son which I told them from the start I couldn't work (she doesn't give a shit) I always approached it as a challenge but one thing after another had happened and she's just taking the utter p*. I guess you have to be in the situation to understand how suffocating it is and the lack of care that they have hired students knowing they have other commitments and happily get them to work full time hours on minimum wage doing all sorts of things. It's not just filing some paperwork. Its not that it's not for me.. my boss isn't isn't me in any shape or form that's the issue. She only cares about herself. If I forgot to do something or made a mistake at these workshops cos I was thinking about some other phone call she urgently wanted me to make and a accident happened for instance I can tell you now it would be my fault not hers I'm freelancing.

I dont get paid overtime. It's just more minimum wage at the same rate.

If you want to leave, you will need to agree a leave date with your boss, not the chair. Honestly, it’s not on him.

You work whatever notice your contract says - a week, a month. Cc him if you want

”Dear Sarah

cc: Bob the Trustee, for info

As per clause 8a of my contract, I am writing to give you two weeks’ notice. My last working day will therefore be 4th June. As you know, I don’t work Mondays. I am happy to either do 2h on Tue 4th June, as usual, or to do more hours in w/c 27th May and finish up on Fri 31 May

Thank you for the opportunity working at Charity555.

Yours

YM2023”

Well yes I know its not him now. There's no one but her which is scary. I would need to email her that cos she wouldn't accept it over the phone. Thanks I will have a think what to do

I have finally worked out what 'perceiver' means......you gave me a chuckle.

I think you are creating a lot of unnecessary drama about this very short term job. You've had good advice, just keep your head down and stick it out or leave, because nothing is going to change. Honestly, the idea of a 7.5 hour a week intern going to the Chair of Trustees about how a charity is run was always likely to cause trouble. In my experience of volunteering for several different charities they tend not to be well managed, you either accept it or move on.

Emailing is best for something like that anyway, gets all the information upfront.

But even Bob the trustee was very pro active, it would still be the CEO who should get your resignation.