Why is work life so weird

[PinkLadyLove]

Work like is so weird.

I've been self employed for 5 years doing contract work remotely. Little one started Reception so stupidly thought it would be good to get back into consistent contract work in an office environment. Took a contract which is basically full time perm but hybrid 3 days in office.

And honestly the biggest mistake I've ever made.

Less time with little one, despite "flexitime" (absolute bs, can't really leave desk for more than 5 mins) and hybrid. No time for literally anything and everything.

And then on top of the bs mountain of work, the people I work with are WEIRD.

Its a weird game of push pull, come to lunch with us at the park, come to pub after work for drinks etc knowing that I can't as have a little one to collect. And so all my personal interaction basically has to revolve around them. It creates a really weird dynamic. I'm not too fussed but it's another thing I cojld do with not worrying about. I don't want to go tk lunch, I want to work go and go home to my family.

A usual Friday rant I'm sure. But work life is horrible!

Just wanted to also add that I've posted here before complaining about work so don't mind me too much. It's absolutely shit!

I guess your colleagues are just being polite in inviting you? Why don't you just smile and say you'd love to but you've got to collect your child.

What do you mean all your personal interactions have to revolve around them? I don't understand that bit. If you're sharing an office with other people then, yes, it is customary to interact with them in my experience.

I think you are the weird one. I work from home and really miss office interactions, pub after work etc. How would you feel if they never invited you?

That's perfectly fine. I probably am the odd one out as I actually have a social life outside of work. I don't need my colleagues to socialise, my life is full and fun and wonderful outside of work.

The people you work with sound really nice, rather than weird.

Perhaps the jump from self employed to being an employee hasn't been an easy transition for you?

They are trying to be polite, the issue I have is that I'd like a bit of down time, especially during lunch. We sit at one big open table so with them literally from 9.15 to 5.45 including lunch break. If it were children we were talking about, everyone would understand why someone would need a break.

Well then just say you'd prefer lunch to yourself.
job done.

Good for you. Doesn't make you better than them.

I think it'd be weird if your colleagues didn't socialise and invite you out. My work has a few company do's throughout the year, but apart from that we don't hang out, which I think is a shame.

They are fine. A bit weird at times as I said, especially the senior members. Very temperamental.
I should probably clarify, that nice as they may sound, the frostiness when you dont go is insane.

Perhaps it comes across that way. But then, cannot control people's perception of me. Especially as it's childcare and other commitments that's dictating my evenings, not simply the fact I don't want to hang out or dislike them entirely.

I have a social life outside of work. I had a social life outside of work when I worked in an office. Still enjoyed socialising with my colleagues from time to time.

You've gone from contractor to permie. That's your issue I think. It's a very different dynamic being a permie that's hard to explain. I tried it once & lasted four months before I went back to contracting! I feel people tend to leave you alone a bit more & not involve you in office politics when you're contract.

I think post Covid and with more people returning to an office environment, there is a more heightened enthusiasm about workplace socialising. It must be considered that for many younger workers, they might have spent a few years working from their bedroom or kitchen table meaning have not yet had the same experiences as those of us who have been there and done that. Like you OP I really prefer to be at home and need downtime but I also love to see the energy and connections retuning to the workplace after years of everyone being so isolated.

Sorry OP but I think you sound a bit superior and your colleagues are reacting accordingly. I've worked in very, very social offices but everyone understood that people with children can't just go out on the lash at the drop of a hat. Can't you go out with them occasionally? I was a working single parent but I managed to join my colleagues sometimes.