Adult ds hasn't passed probation

[qwertypops]

He's 21yo, first job out of uni in a field related to his degree.

So he thought he's been doing OK. He says nobody has said anything negative to him (he started in Dec).

Then he had his face to face probation meeting on Monday and he said it was positive, they said they were happy with him but yesterday got an email summarizing the probation meeting. And in the email it was a different story, said they're not happy with him, he asks too many questions, his technical capability on some software isn't up to scratch and they don't think he's committed to the job/company. He's really upset, says it's the first he's heard about it. So he hasn't passed probation, they will review in 4 weeks. He's shitting himself that he is about to get fired. His mental health can be bad at times and he can be anxious so now he's spiraling.

I've offered to help compose an email basically saying that he's surprised by the email as he'd got the impression earlier that things were more positive. But that he's keen to improve. That if they can give him any specific pointers about the software skills/how he can improve this as he wants to improve if needed but he doesn't know what the actual issue is. Emphasize that he is committed to the company and job.

He isn't sure what to say about the questions issue because previously they've been like, oh no question is a daft question, ask all the questions you need. But in the email they said it's disruptive.

So I said to him he could maybe email his boss questions as that might be less disruptive than asking in the office? I did talk to him about not just asking how to do something fix something but to come up with a possible solution and then if he's not sure that's right to check......he says that's what he does already. That he tries to think of an idea and then run it past someone if he's not sure.

Anything else he could be saying? And yes I know he's an adult, etc but this is his first job and I am keen to help him navigate a situation he's had no experience of before.

Definitely. But it just makes me think if they actually want to keep him on they’d be doing this already. I’m worried he’s going to get the sack.

Sorry for yours and your son‘s troubles.

I have a bit of sun a bit like yours–
– Cannot read the room
– constantly asked questions- often the same one two mins later
– can easily irritate the shit out of people.
– regularly tells me things are great and then he’s disappointed when he hasn’t got the job

He is the light of my life and I love him more than words can say. But, he does have ADHD and for the above reasons he is medicated when he goes to work. He too is bright and has been very successful in his education, but there is no doubt without his medication, people would struggle to cope with him and his ways.

I don’t know if this helps but my son found diagnosis really helpful, because it explained ‘why’ lots of things were going wrong i.e. that it wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t just naughty, and he wasn’t to blame and he wasn’t stupid, his brain just worked differently. The medication just helps to calm things down and align his thoughts so that he’s able to get through the working day with all the challenges it poses. He never takes medication at the weekends, holidays or at home and it’s entirely his choice.

Sometimes, a diagnosis leads to a reason not a label. Best wishes to your son for the future.

With this update I think he needs to ask them to be really, really blunt with him to ensure understanding. It sounds a bit like they gave him a shit sandwich and he only heard the sandwich.

With the question. From your earlier post I wonder if he's giving them his ideas for improvement and asking have they considered changing practice to x, y, z instead of just doing as he's told.

Either way as PP said it's really positive that they have given him a chance to improve. In your shoes I'd advise him to ask his boss or a longstanding employee to bluntly tell him exactly what he needs to do to improve.

@qwertypops

tory labor laws so if you voted for them and Brexit this is what you get and he can’t go else where either.

if not he has four weeks to get better so he needs clear hurdles from thém to hit. He should ask for those.

also due to Brexit he can walk I to another job as you really can’t employ anyone at the moment or get anyone to do anything in broken destroyed Britain.

It's not really 4 weeks to improve when they haven't set any targets or structure. It's just a softer landing for a dismissal for someone who's only entitled to one week's notice.

LOL he's young a a young engineering graduate, I'm sure he can go abroad if he really wants to. People from outside the EU managed to migrate in all the time, also go to other countries like the US and Australia. Brexit is irrelevant here.

Seriously OP I'm amazed at the conclusions people are jumping to on here with ADHD and whatnot being brought in. I'm ND, and so are a lot of the people in my field, it hasn't held anybody back from graduate jobs so much so that they fail probation. People who are that bad usually don't even get past the first interview.

They're paying him minimum wage (for a job that requires an engineering degree, years to qualify etc), haven't put any sort of structure in place, and have communicated mixed messages. Even neurodiverse people aren't so clueless as to think that a meeting with positive + negative things said was overwhelmingly positive, quite the opposite actually. He hasn't had any meetings prior to this, or been given any sort of structure so I'm inclined to think that it's the company, and not him.

@qwertypops I would expect to
have provided weekly feedback to a trainee and so underperformance would not come as a shock. We would work to help the probationer improve. It’s wrong and unhelpful to say one thing in a meeting and something different in an email after the event. Sure, asking questions means taking time to answer but I expect this and would also allow the person training the new person to spend more time training them and less time on project work. If someone were failing their probation we’d extend it if we thought they could improve with help.

have managed a number of people who are early into career jobs and have found quite a few who treat work like school or uni - treating instructions or feedback as optional or something they can take or leave. When you are meeting for the third week about the same issue which has not changed, it does get to the point where you start to wonder if the situation is salvageable. The transition into the serious world of work - I dont mean holiday type or student jobs but the type you need because of your future - is really hard. A lot of attitudes need to shift. I wonder if your DS is having problems with this.

I would also say I have worked with a lot of engineers. They are not always the best communicators.