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My job is making me ill.

6 replies

Pinkswim · 08/05/2024 18:32

Been in my job for 16 years. Started off part time assisting colleague. As time has moved on I now work full time and do role I was assisting with on my own. Colleague moved on to better role. However all this time she still try’s to treat me like her slave and expects me to help her with her work. She is not above me. Though she does not do anything for me, even when I’ve been off on holiday, or sick (very rare) I still come back to all my work and have to catch up. She says “didn’t have time” “too busy” Over the years I have gotten more and more reluctant to do anything for her as she is very selfish, thinks she is better than everyone else, more important than anyone else. Won’t do anything for anyone else. Other colleagues agree but it’s not effecting them directly as it is me. This attitude is reinforced by the manager, who gives her everything she wants and gives in to her every whim. She is useless at her job (hence why she needed an assistant) but her and the manager are in each others pockets. She is in a role that can be useful to manipulate, you see so it’s a case of “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” The manager has all her family working there so you can imagine how this is being abused. People are aware of this but no one says it out loud. My colleague has spent years off loading any work she doesn’t want to do (all the crappy jobs) and I’m convinced she won’t be happy until she is sat there literally with nothing to do. The managers behaviour is total favouritism towards her and because she can be used. She does this with several other departments, she likes playing people off against each other, hate’s people getting on incase they join forces and go against her. She pulls the wool over the eyes of the directors, very manipulative and controlling person. Toxic in fact. Now the manager is sending people to me for me to deal with things and saying, my colleague is too busy all the time even though she’s sat there 1/2 the day chatting. My colleague keeps leaving bits of paper with notes on to do stuff on my desk for her. I have said no in the past but If I say no then I’m person who’s being difficult and unreasonable according to them, I’ve said support has to work both ways but the manager will never take my side, or see my side. I tried to complain to directors previously about this situation but she has them under her control. It was a waste of time. She manipulated the situation completely. I couldn’t tell them all the truth incase they didn’t believe me. Now I feel like she’s getting back at me for daring to go against her. They won’t ask anyone else to do her work because no one other than me has ever done her work. I am very stressed already as my own work has increased. Sometimes these things she’s askin me to do are two minute jobs but surely the if it’s two mins she could do it herself?? I feel like I’m having the mickey taking out of me. It’s like they think I’m sat twiddling my thumbs waiting to do things for her. This situation is really effecting me. I don’t like the way I’m being treated. I am anxious every day I go in, worrying about what is going to happen next. I have always suffered with anxiety. I can’t sleep, waking up middle of night with panic attacks. Get another job then yeah? I am so scared of the thought of this after so long. I have looked but my confidence is at an all time low right now. What if it’s worse? I am now at the point of ringing my gp to ask for sick note. But I can’t stay off forever and when I go back my work will be in a right mess making things worse for me. Plus being off sick may effect my chance of another job. I cannot afford to lose my wage! It’s a good wage. I work really hard and have never put a foot wrong or made a mistake or missed a deadline. I know it will never change there. How do I get out of this situation? Husband says leave but how can i!

OP posts:
malificent7 · 09/05/2024 07:32

Why are you putting up with this? Look elsewhere. I had similar and got out asap.I know it"s easier said than done but you deserve better than this toxic environment.

malificent7 · 09/05/2024 07:34

Brush up your cv, go on Indeed and take the plunge.

Greenmayleaves · 09/05/2024 07:58

I didn't read it all as its very long but wanted to post as I'm in a similar situation.

Go out sick. Take a week off at first and clear your head. Get your CV ready and spend 30 mins each day on indeed applying for new jobs. Stay civil with work so that if you have to go back then you can.

I have been off work for two weeks and am starting to feel normal again. My DH and family can see the difference in me. I'm in the work WhatsApp and archived the chat but before I did I could see they are falling behind and missing deadlines without me. When I worry about what it will be like if/when I go back, I remember how happy my children are now that I'm not constantly on edge and know I have done the right thing.

Startingagainandagain · 09/05/2024 09:03

16 years is a long time to stay in a job and it sounds like you are being used and taken for granted so it is time to find another, less stressful job.

In the meantime I would book a holiday if you have annual leave to try to recover a bit, update your CV and start job hunting.

If annual leave is not a possibility as you sound like you have burned out then take some so sick leave (you can self-certify for the fist seven days then see your GP if you need more time).

You also need to put your foot down and make it clear you can do your own job and pick up the slack for someone else...

Basically take action because you can't continue like this.

DowntonCrabby · 09/05/2024 09:10

I agree with PP’s saying take some time off. It’ll help you think things over, update your CV and begin to look round for new opportunities.
It’ll hopefully also make her look as useless as she is without you picking up the slack.

Pinkswim · 09/05/2024 11:30

Thank you all for your replies. You are all correct. I need to be brave and make the jump! It’s never going to change. This has reassured me that I’m not the person in the wrong like my manager keeps making me feel. She keeps saying we have to support each other but it’s not both ways. As Startingagainandagain says “I’m just pickin up her slack while trying to do my own job”. It’s not fair.

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