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Coping in a Dysfunctional Workplace - Nepotism

11 replies

Annalouisa · 03/05/2024 22:46

I need some advice on how to keep my sanity and keep going in my current company - I work with lovely people, but in a dysfunctional company, in my opinion. For instance:

  • the head of sales is married to the CEO's niece, and it seems like every time a new position opens up, it's filled by someone with family ties. It's frustrating because it feels like promotions and opportunities are handed out based on last names rather than merit. Often you don't know there was a vacancy until someone's cousin turns up.
  • we've got a history of rehiring people who were let go for valid reasons. One person in particular, who barely showed up for work and caused more problems than they solved, somehow got a second chance a couple of years later because they're buddy-buddy with someone higher up. Predictably, they're now rarely turning up for work, just doing the occasional job for their senior buddy, and it's left the rest of us picking up the slack.
  • My direct supervisor landed her role not because of her expertise, but because she's tight with her boss. They're practically inseparable outside of work, are godmothers to each other's children etc. They spend much of their time in the office having long lunches together/disappearing for hours and researching weekends away together.
  • Recently, we had a new manager join our team. Instead of advertising the position and finding someone qualified, my boss decided to rescue an underperforming friend from another department. After just a couple of months, they were then promoted to manager without any management experience and they struggle with the basics of the job, again leaving the rest of us to clean up the mess. But apparently because they manage their kids' football team, they "have management experience from an external context"

What can I do? HR feels like a lost cause given the culture of favouritism, and while the pay is decent and my team is supportive, the overall vibe is incredibly demotivating. I need to stick it out for another couple of year to save up money.

Has anyone navigated a similar situation? Can't be a common experience, can it? Any advice on how to cope with this dysfunction while maintaining my professionalism and sanity? Do I put all my effort into becoming friends with someone senior or invent time travel so I can marry into the family of one of the senior execs? I'd really appreciate any insights or support on how not to get increasingly angry about the nepotism and quit in a huff when the next nephew joins our department as my manager...

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 04/05/2024 03:23

Find a new job. It's the only way. These companies are awful to work for, and usually backward in management practices.

DramaAlpaca · 04/05/2024 03:26

Leave. Find another job, it's the only way. I've worked somewhere like that, it won't get any better.

XFiler · 04/05/2024 03:26

I’ve previously worked somewhere similar I left and suggest you do the same.

Annalouisa · 04/05/2024 19:07

Okay, that's pretty unanimous! I will update my CV and start searching for jobs over the long bank holiday weekend... 😬

OP posts:
Allwelcone · 06/05/2024 16:39

This happened in a local council I used to work in. They manoeuvred the lovely older experienced manager and put in this cuckoo. The big boss who hired him:

  • was godparent to this guy's kid,
  • had been best friends with the family for years and
  • cuckoo's wife was high up in the organization etc
He was totally crap (oh dear poor guy heard me tell a colleague how bad I found him, v embarrassing). Anyway he was awful, couldn't cope and demoted himself. A lot of people left though.
Annalouisa · 06/05/2024 19:25

Allwelcone · 06/05/2024 16:39

This happened in a local council I used to work in. They manoeuvred the lovely older experienced manager and put in this cuckoo. The big boss who hired him:

  • was godparent to this guy's kid,
  • had been best friends with the family for years and
  • cuckoo's wife was high up in the organization etc
He was totally crap (oh dear poor guy heard me tell a colleague how bad I found him, v embarrassing). Anyway he was awful, couldn't cope and demoted himself. A lot of people left though.

I like the term cuckoo - it really is fitting, like a big loud man baby who gobbles up all the pay rises before anyone else can get to them! Certainly, all the cronies are feathering their own nest. You'd think this sort of thing would only happen in small family run businesses, not in local councils and enterprises with hundreds of employees...

OP posts:
isthewashingdryyet · 06/05/2024 19:27

Leave. You can’t change an office culture from anywhere but the very top.

NewMe2024 · 06/05/2024 19:27

Sheesh. Leave. No brainer.

ControlShiftDelete · 06/05/2024 19:33

Leave now for your sanity but it looks like a sinking ship anyway as they aren't hiring qualified people.

Annalouisa · 07/05/2024 14:39
Running Away Night Of The Living Dead GIF by filmeditor

Will run and not look back!

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 07/05/2024 16:56

Just adding to the chorus. You can't change this. Keep your head down and job hunt.

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