Help! Should I sack this interview off??

[Applecrumble32]

I’ve posted in relation to this interview before but I need to make a decision and I’m really stuck!

I am currently urgently looking for a new role. Through no fault of my own my current role, unfortunately, has become untenable. I have applied for 4 jobs, have got through every interview round so far (had my eighth interview yesterday). One told me last week they are going to make me an offer (not my dream job but could be good or at least buy me some time). They’ve had delays their end (including a family bereavement) so I’m still waiting for that. One looks great but I worry they want someone with more experience than me (and I’m quite frankly scared of going ton to a situation where i’m not what they hoped for and it fails (my current role has really affected my confidence)).

Another (and this is the one I want advice on) has invited me to a third interview. It’s a lot of travel (role is otherwise wfh but they want a face to face for the interview) and they want a presentation. It’s not a role I would be considering if it wasn’t for my situation (company is tiny and understaffed) and in the last interview the line manager was an arsehole, frankly. Very rude and judgemental- I didn’t get a good feeling about him.

Should I just sack it off? The last 3 months have been some of the most stressful I’ve ever had, the interviews have really taken it out of me (I’m constantly ill at the moment and my MH is shocking) and the thought of having to write a presentation and travel all that way for a job I don’t want is playing on my mind. If I go ahead with it it’s in just over a week.

I can afford to not work for about 9 months without touching savings (and then another 10 months until I run out completely), but the job market is awful at the moment and I want to stay away from savings as best I can.

I think companies dragging people in for second, third, fourth interviews is piss taking of the highest order - and if the manager is a twat, life is too short for that shit.

Second interviews are fair game but third and more is a piss take

If you have a bad gut feeling, listen to it.

I took a job which I had a gut feeling about (and not a good one) but I was out of work and thought it would get me some good experience. WRONG! I hated it and it was very far from what it said on the tin, I left after a year and am now doing interim work which whilst better than the shit job, is not a great situation to be in. I wish I had waited it out at the time.

Don't go, honestly.

Yes I agree with above, sack it off. I think it's important to listen to your gut and you do need to protect your Mental health and don't put yourself in a position that you don't feel comfortable in. Sounds like you're getting lots of interviews elsewhere, so I would hold out.

I definitely wouldn’t bother going to the one where the manager is an arsehole.
But you may as well wait for the other one and see. if they do make you an offer, see what the training situation is first.

my brother is interviewing for a senior role atm and has had EIGHT interviews so far.
I’ve never had more than one and one if my current roles just called me up and asked which days I was available.

I wouldn’t go. It doesn’t sound like a good fit and if you didn’t get a good feeling there’s no point. When I was younger I was desperate to ‘win’ every job interview. Sometimes that led to disastrous jobs. One I only stayed for 2 weeks. As long as you are able financially, hold off to find the job that feels right

Also needing a third interview tells you all you need to know about how the company is run

If a company wants a 3rd interview, that's too much.

Two is plenty.

And if the line manager was a rude and judgemental arsehole in the interview, he'll be a nightmare once on the job.

Tell them to poke it.

Thanks everyone. I’d feel more confident about sacking it off of the other offer had arrived but I’m still waiting for that.

I do get feelings of dread when I think about this job though and the thought of writing a presentation over the next week is not filling me with joy.

Does anyone have any tips on how I tell the recruiter? It’s a tiny industry and I don’t want to burn bridges. How do I let them down gently??

Is the recruiter external to the company? can you just pick up the phone and tell them informally that you are talking to them off the record, you feel the company is understaffed, and in the last interview the line manager came across as rude and judgemental- so you don't think you are a good fit, given it’s a lot of travel for a third interview, with additional work for you in preparing a presentation ( presumably you were not informed of this up front at interview one) you feel this is a waste of your time and thiers, want to give them a heads up , recruiters like honesty.

Sack it off sounds awful

Thanks for all the advice so but I have a small update. The company who said they want to make me an offer need sign off from a manager first. The manager is on leave and so I won’t find out now until the end of next week.

I was hoping that with an offer I under my belt I would feel confident turning down this other interview but next Friday is too late to make a decision.

What if I cancel the interview then don’t get any of these jobs and there are no more advertised at the moment??

In your earlier post you said you could live for x months without a job, so I would be comfortable in that situation to wait a week for an offer.

I wouldn’t be wasting time, energy and money on a third interview, when I’ve already got vibes from one of the people interviewing me.

I do get feelings of dread when I think about this job though and the thought of writing a presentation over the next week is not filling me with joy

There you go then. Listen to your gut and your body. Imagine that multiplied several fold every morning if you got that job.

You can go for a few months without working, you said. Can you temp for a bit?

You're panicking. You've said yourself you could go 9 months without a job if necessary.

I don't see the benefit of going for the third interview for a job you have so many reservations about, no matter what the situation with the other possible job. I would find a way to word that you are withdrawing from that interview process because of the travel and how the manager came across. That said, you are clearly stressed so is it the case the manager was testing your experience rather than having a cosy chat and you're not able to be objective? If you've misgivings now about the role and your fit then don't go to the third interview. Is there anyone irl you can chat this through with?

Listen to your instincts and forget about this job.

3 interviews is silly and you shouldn't need to travel if this is a WFH role.

You don't want to end up taking a job with a crap company and have to job hunt again in a few month because the environment is toxic.

Better to wait a bit longer to find something that is a bette fit, you could always do some temp short term contracts if needed in the meantime.

The line managers attitude is a massive red flag. Sounds like a bully hiding in plain sight. If you accept the disrespect at interview, you may experience worse when you get in-house. This could really mess up your confidence and mental health.

@NigelHarmansNewWife i am panicking. I got myself in to a flap yesterday and I’ve woken up feeling awful.

The 9 months has also possibly been reduced to 7 months now because of an issue with my current employer.

If this problematic job didn’t exist I’d happily deal with the other three but I’m worried I’ll turn it down, not get any other offers, become destitute then be kicking myself for not going ahead with the interview as we all starve (dramatic but exactly where my head is at at the moment).

Re. The guy, he asked a simple question and when I responded he asked if I’d be coached by the recruiter to say that. He was pretty confrontational. I’d been told by his boss and another person that I’d have the opportunity to work on lots of projects but he looked pissed off and told me that was highly unlikely. That was the tone of the whole interview. I came off the call and said to my partner the guy clearly didn’t like me.

Other than the interview there’s minimal travel involved as I’d work from home and visit the office only occasionally.

I have family to talk to but they’ve mostly said it’s up to me which isn’t helping. My partner has said to cancel it and we don’t want to end up in another toxic work situation but then he’s pretty blasé and says he’s sure I’ll get a job eventually. My mental health is not good and waiting around without a resolution is driving me crazy.

Another (and this is the one I want advice on) has invited me to a third interview. It’s a lot of travel (role is otherwise wfh but they want a face to face for the interview) and they want a presentation. It’s not a role I would be considering if it wasn’t for my situation (company is tiny and understaffed) and in the last interview the line manager was an arsehole, frankly. Very rude and judgemental- I didn’t get a good feeling about him.

@Applecrumble32 don't settle for being treated badly by an employer such as this. No way, you will find something else, it's a good time of year to be seeking work, no major holidays like Easter or Christmas, many people will have had annual reviews and possibly seeking to move employment.

What you've described are big red flags, your self esteem will be hammered if you go for something if your instincts are crying out "this doesn't feel right".

Never ignore those spidey senses, they are there for a reason.

Are you currently serving your notice in your current job?

Can you do agency/temping/contract work? Are you able to say roughly the type of skills you have eg Project Management, accounting, admin etc?

@daisychain01 i’m possibly serving my notice at the moment (it’s complicated and I don’t want to give too much detail in case someone on here recognises me).

My sector doesn’t really do temping/contracting etc.

I was thinking that if I got desperate I could go to a temp agency and just do an admin role or something for a while to top up what I have. I’m not sure how easy that is nowadays. After uni I did this quite a bit but companies were crying out for data inputters to work temp contracts so it was easy to find one.

My partner was in a similar position to me a few years ago and worked for the NHS doing admin stuff but the agency seems to have disappeared. If anyone can point me in the direction of how to apply for these temp roles I’d appreciate that.

I work in a STEM role, very specialised, lots of writing complicated documents, analysing date working with customers and delivering big projects to deadlines.

I would sack off the interview OP, if there are already red flags at interview stage, it's unlikely to get better. I would just say to the recruiter you feel the company is not a good fit but very much interested in other opportunities. Set yourself a timeline of say 1 month from now to look at temp opportunities. Loads on indeed.co.uk, the recruiting agency you work with might also have temp roles. Good luck and try not to worry, you are still in employment and 7 months is a big buffer.

You are an asset to an organisation with those skills!

do consider temping and meanwhile look for work where you can use your skills, even if it means switching industry sector to increase the vacancy pool.

Data analysis and report writing is a highly sought after skill set, you will get something else in a company where you're valued and respected, it's a question of being choosy and watching for red flags so you don't go out of the frying pan into the fire!

@MeandBobbyMcGoo @daisychain01 thank you for the reassurance.

I was feeling more positive last night, discussed not doing the interview with my partner and came to a decision to cancel it. The pressure of writing a presentation now and travelling to do this interview is too much. However, later the reality of being unemployed got me and I can only describe it as a feeling of horror wash over me.

i think I need to find some kind of talking therapy, even if just to take some of the pressure off my partner. I signed up to the NHS one but it’s slow (they have an appointment with me in two weeks). MN is helping air these worries so thanks for all the responses to this.

You have made the right decision op. You already have red flags about the line manager, that would be enough for me, life’s too short to put up with a dick as a boss. It’s also very stressful and bad for your MH which you say you need help with already - I hope you get help with some talking therapies - and be kind to yourself.

Thanks everyone. I’m worried about what I say to the recruiter. He’s been lovely and really helpful. He has lots of opportunities coming through his foot and I don’t want to annoy him to the point he won’t recommend me again.