Taking time off with sick child

[feliciamorrison]

I have a 3 year old, who like most toddlers picks up every germ and lurgy going. I started working again in October, and since then I’ve had to call in sick to work to care for her 3 times, missing 6 days of work.

The first time she had covid, the second was hand foot and mouth and this time it’s been a nasty stomach bug. She obviously was unable to go to nursery with any of these meaning I needed to take time off work. I have no alternative childcare, as the only family I have close all work during the week, and my stepdad is currently undergoing treatment on his spine so looking after a 3 year old is out of the question.

I think I will of now hit the threshold for sick days within a 6 month period and I’m just concerned that as I’m still in my probationary period that I will be dismissed or liable for a disciplinary.

I understand this process for repeated bouts of illness but I haven’t been sick myself, I’ve just been taking care of my child.

Does anyone have any experience in this or any words of advice that might ease my mind a little. This job has been really understanding of my situation as a lone parent and gives me unpaid time off during school holidays and I really don’t want to lose it.

Why are you calling in sick? If we have to take time off for an ill child, we take it either as annual leave or unpaid leave. Obviously if you are calling in sick, they have to treat it like they would treat any sickness that anyone might take.

Did she just start nursery in October? If so, hopefully it won't be as bad as this for much longer. Generally the first winter is the worst for bugs.

I think it's different now to how it used to be. In my work it used to be more difficult to manage sickness because it was back in a time when I had to be in the office to do work. I had a spell similar to this where my child was off a few times, and I did have to take some unpaid leave, but fortunately we were in a position to do that.

I just think transparency is key with these things and offering to make back the time where possible to show willingness

You shouldn’t be calling in sick, you’re not sick. You take annual leave, or dependents leave. Your entitled to reasonable time off to care for a sick child, though it might be unpaid, you need to ask for your works policy on leave for dependents. I was off with a sick child yesterday and took it as dependents leave (we get 5 paid days, more with discretion)

Is your child’s father around?

Sorry, just seen you’re a lone parent

You can't use sick leave to care for a sick child! Potentially this would be a disciplinary matter.

I can understand calling in sick if you don’t get paid for dependent’s leave.
I think it depends on your job really.
can you ask your manager to use annual leave?

Are you calling in sick? That’s not usually allowed when you’re not sick yourself, usually it’s annual leave or unpaid leave.

I might be wrong, but I would assume the OP doesn’t call in sick for herself, I assume she’s just using the phrase ‘called in sick’ to mean she couldn’t work, because she had to look after her little one.

They shouldn't be classed as sick days if YOU are not ill. When you rang in to say your child was ill were you not offered a carers day (paid or unpaid) or to take annual leave?
Thats what should have happened. It should NEVER be recorded as sick leave as otherwise this is exactly what happens, you hit the threshold for sickness absence monitoring.

I would speak to your manager/HR and get these absences properly recorded. The other issue is if you go for another job in the future some employers ask for the number of sickness absences over past 2 years as part of reference so it's important not to have absences for reasons of childcare included in this

Sorry I don’t think I worded my first message too well. I’ve been ‘calling in sick’ but the reason has always been because of a sick child so they might not see it as sick. The time off I’ve taken has been unpaid.

What on earth? You can’t call in sick if you are not sick. You might be able to take emergency leave or annual leave.

Oh, cross posted with your last message.

Yes it’s been this. After her last bout of illness I did a return to work meeting which just talks about why I was off and if it’s likely to happen again in the future. The manager mentioned I hadn’t hit the threshold yet but I’m worried that now I might have. Is there a limit to the amount of time I take off to care for my child?

I think you may need to be clearer with work that you are taking carers leave or emergency dependents leave.

Your last post referring to a return to work meeting sounds to me like they have recorded it as sick leave.

Sick leave can be managed, and excessive sickness is especially concerning during probation.

The risk is that it is fraudulent to take sick leave when you personally are not sick. Can you check your workplace policies on this and speak to HR or your line manager?

You can be dismissed at any point within the first two years without any reason, as long as it’s not discriminatory.

They’ve always known that the reason I’ve been off has been due to a sick child so I will check how it’s been recorded. I have messaged one of my managers asking for the policies so hopefully I’ll be a bit more clued up once I receive them.

You haven’t been clear about the father so not sure but I always split the kids sickness with the kids Dad.

My work know that the time off I’ve taken has been to take care of my child. Would it not be discriminatory to be dismissed for this?

No, having a child isn’t a protected characteristic. They need someone to do the job, if you take lots of time off then they could easily argue that you can’t fulfil that. But they don’t need a reason under 2 years service anyway.

You can’t help that your little one is poorly and most employers are reasonable about this. If you’re a lone parent, what else are you supposed to do.

It would be different if it was you off sick yourself as in theory you could ‘drag yourself in’ (though that would be awful) but there’s literally nothing you can do when lo is poorly.

I would say that if they like you and you’re doing a good job, you’ll likely be fine. It would be the same for any parents of young children - so what, they let you go and get someone else with children and the same thing happens…

If they’re decent employers, they won’t hold it against you. If they do, then it’s their loss, it shows you that they aren’t great employees.

Sick days for you is different- in my role, you’re only allowed to be off for 2 occasions per year. It doesn’t matter if it’s 2/3 weeks at a time, or 1 day. It’s classed as the same. So if you were off for one day in March, then again in July then again in December there would be the same as having 2/3 weeks off each time.

I’ve had 3/4 different times off with my sick DC within a year and there’s been no action against me as it’s what happens and they are descent employers.

Good luck

It depends on your workplace. Mine you’re entitled to 18 days unpaid dependants leave per year so check your entitlement with your workplace

No, it isn't discriminatory to not allow time off to care for children, with this exception - there is a statutory right to time off for an emergency involving a dependant, and this is an undefined 'reasonable' amount but where it's for their sickness, generally it's a day to arrange longer care. This longer care, I would advise in your circumstances, is probably you taking annual leave. Unless there is an organisation policy on emergency leave.

I know it sucks trying to work as a single parent, but you need to get in top of this as they can dismiss eventually if your time off is affecting the business/your work too much.

Check the policies. Check how this is currently being recorded. Save annual leave for emergencies.

The child's father is involved in caring for their child then he needs to take some time off next time child is ill.