Too shy to apply for a role

[user1471867483]

I have seen a job I would love to do, but due to my shyness and not being very worldly-wise (I get by, but I have lived a rather sheltered existence and have been a clean living person), I feel I will be a poor fit when it comes to the culture of where the role will be. It's a male dominated environment (office role) and I'm not sure I'll "survive" in it. I worry I'll be taunted for my not 'being around the block', if you get me.
However, I like the sound of the role itself. What should I do?

Apply. If you don't you'll never know if you could have got it. Good luck!

are you currently in work?

Yes, I am, but I'm fed up with it. I've been in my role for 9 years and the typing has been taken away from us all (we have new software that does it for you now) and I miss typing. I am just cancelling/rebooking appointments now 🙄all day.

What do you mean by clean living? I would go for it... if you don't apply the answer is definitely no. If you apply you might get a yes

male dominated environment
this can be so varied- I work in male dominated environments. It can go either way. It can be a macho environment but generally it is usually very civil- might just have to put up with some football & gaming talk.

Apply for it. You may get more of a feel for the environment from the application process.

I mean, I haven't been around. I'm a Christian, regular church goer, and I've never slept around, done night clubbing, don't smoke, don't drink. Just kept myself decent so I'd never be able to banter with worldly men 😳

This is only going to be an issue if you make it one. Honestly, I think a step out of your comfort zone might show you that other people aren’t as different from you as you think they are. “Worldly men” are just people too, some are nice, some are not, the same as church goers.

I’d stay away from using the word “decent” in that context as people will read it as judging people who don’t live your lifestyle.

👏

I mean this nicely but the only person stopping you, is you.

You're so right. I've always felt that little bit 'different' you see, and I worry what people think. A little on the slight 'slow' side tbh. I'm good at my work, but it's what people think of me that gets to me, especially at 53! I'm like 53 going on 13!

i suspect that there is an undercurrent of judgement here towards women that have done those things. So i’d be careful how you describe yourself OP

and on your other threads… the one about new guy irritating you and the other chap picking his nose… you seem to have quite a bit of interaction with men

Hi. I'm also 53 and have always worked in a male dominated environment (civil engineering), office based and in construction sites. Although I wouldn't described my self as clean-living,my party days are over! . My experience is that all these blokey blokes are much more respectful and protective of quiet people/women than they used to be. The macho culture is dying out.

Apply for the job. You really are the only person stopping you..

the fact you have “thanked me” OP… does that mean you are judgemental towards these women?

Ok, you have some deeply weird ideas but about men, ‘decency’, and the ‘worldly’. I’m about to turn 52, grew out of my Catholic upbringing to be a contented atheist, slept with anything life threw in my way before meeting DH, made the usual experiments in alcohol/drugs/living in different countries, and still consider myself decent. What on earth do you imagine is going to be talked about in this workplace of ‘worldly men’??? My department is male-dominated, and I’m on a couple of committees where everyone else is male, and we talk about books, or current affairs.

Also, your Jesus didn’t exactly lead a quiet life, with all that itinerant wandering, getting violent in the Temple, turning water to wine at a wedding, and hanging out with prostitutes, before provoking the authorities and being publicly executed.

Having said that, the nightclubs of first-century Galilee were probably not all that…

Thanks, guys. You've helped me so much already xx

He spat phlegm in the sink we have in our office yesterday too.

according to one of your other threads you have recently applied for “loads and loads” of jobs. So apply the confidence you had with them to this one 🤷

awaiting yet another thread about it

It's OK. I'll spare ya'll the details.

Do you honestly think that males are incapable of professionally interacting with females and other males without sexualising everything and discussing ongoing debauchery?

You are judgemental to both women and men, and seriously need to stop.

Workplaces are not hotbeds of sex. Life is not a Soap Opera.

It's your attitude that is wrong. Not everyone else's.

this

the OP reminds me of an Alan Bennett’s Talking Heads character

😆